Trolling the League
by Noodlehammer
Summary: Finished with their overly long honeymoon, Naruto and Xanna leave their dimension of origin in favor of a new(and hopefully interesting) one. Finding themselves faced with a world where the supposed protectors of the innocent refuse to kill their obviously evil counterparts, they decide to push some buttons. Sequel to my first story, strongly recommended you read that first.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I suppose I need to do one of these again...obviously I don't own anything either Naruto or any part of the DC universe. If I did, then I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.**

**Firstly and most importantly... For those of you who aren't aware, this is a humor sequel of my first story "Reaching for a Dream", which means that you should read that one first. Nothing is physically preventing you from reading this first mind you, but you will more than likely be terribly confused if you do.**

**Secondly, my knowledge of the DC universe in general and the Justice League in particular is spotty at best, so feel free to point out any glaring errors or blatant OOC-ness. This spotty knowledge is also one of the reasons why my foray into this universe will be rather short.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Standing in an isolated spot that overlooked the city of Gotham were two odd figures, one male and one female, both of them very tall by the standard of humans and in possession of some very distinctive features.

The woman was an incredible beauty who stood at 6'4'', had long, shining white hair that reached down to her thighs, red eyes with a predatory slit and an alluring dusky skin tone. She was dressed in a body hugging, full length white kimono with red accents and a slit on the side so that it showed a flash of leg when she walked and left her shoulders exposed, showing off a great figure. Magatama markings encircled the wide sleeves and bust line, coincidentally also drawing attention to her impressive cleavage, which would have hovered between between a C and D cup on a shorter woman. On her it seemed larger due to being scaled appropriately for her heigth.

The man stood at 6'7'' and while he was not handsome in the conventional sense, what with the deep whisker marks on his cheeks and the jagged black marks on the sides of his face, he was far from unattractive. His hair was of similar length to that of his companion, though it was an extremely bright golden color instead of white and his eyes had the same predatory slit, but they were a gold-orange color as opposed to her red. His skin was also a much lighter shade than hers, though still tanned. He wore black pants and a white, high collared haori decorated with magatama markings, which was kept open to reveal a powerfully muscled chest. The hilt of a long nodachi was visible over his right shoulder and a green crystal hung from a cord around his neck.

Both of them were barefoot, but seemed unbothered by their lack of footwear, despite the pebbles and rather low temperature of the ground.

By far their most eye catching feature however, were the pair of horns on their heads, giving an appearance that was both regal and demonic. The claws and fanged teeth only further supported this image. The faint glow of their hair made them seem even more otherworldly.

Naruto was inordinately pleased that eating the Chakra Fruit had bestowed on him the same type of horns that his wife sported(perhaps more pleased that he had a reason to be, considering that it was just a cosmetic effect, but he didn't care because the horns were awesome). He'd long since given up on wearing his previous leather get up, finding the chakra formed clothing to be incomparably more comfortable, not to mention indestructable.

He'd destroyed the crystal imprisoning Madara's soul some time ago, finding it tiring to keep holding on to his anger at the man. Honestly, if it hadn't been for the near success the Uchiha had at killing Xanna, he would have released him even sooner. Either way it was hard to keep holding a grudge against a dead man, especially when it was that very dead man's machinations that culminated in an ascension to godhood for you and your wife even if that hadn't been his intent.

More importantly, it was hard to hold a grudge when you've just spent the past decade or so doing nothing but having incredible amounts of incredible sex and playing around with your new powers.

Despite having arrived only about a week before, Naruto and Xanna had already formed an opinion of this new dimension that they found themselves in.

"This dimension is really weird." Naruto stated, fairly amused by what they'd found out about it so far.

"You have quite the gift for understatement husband." Xanna replied, equally amused.

"Honestly, superheroes in capes going around fighting crime, calling themselves things like 'Batman' and 'Superman'. Don't even get me started on the unimaginatively named sidekicks. I don't think I've ever heard of anything so ridiculously corny before in my life." Naruto said with a headshake.

"I agree, even your flattery isn't anywhere near as bad as this." Xanna said agreeably.

"Oh come on, my flattery isn't that bad is it?" Naruto protested.

Xanna was unswayed. "It's pretty bad."

Naruto responded by pouting, forming a black shakujo made completely of chakra and poking at the ground with it. The miniature raincloud that he created over his head completed the image of utter dejection that he was projecting.

Xanna chuckled in amusement at the antics of her husband, finding the frivolous use of his powers to be very funny. Just about anyone else would have developed an uncontrollably inflated ego if they had such power at their command, but Naruto had only ever cared about power as a means to an end. Being powerless would make him unhappy only because it would render him unable to help her(and possibly any 'little sisters' he happened to take a liking to) if she should ever need it and that was far more flattering than any words could ever be.

Though his compliments really _were_ corny, there was absolutely no doubt about that.

Naruto grinned at hearing her chuckle at his little act, pleased that he was able to make her laugh even after spending ten years on an island together with no company save each other.

"So, you think we might be able to have some fun here?" He asked, getting to the point of their visit to this dimension.

"Naruto, I am a _goddess,_ of course we can have fun here." She said scathingly, but her eyes were full of amusement.

Naruto rolled his eyes at her response. That had turned into a running gag a long time ago and she never missed an opportunity to use it.

"I suppose we could join the superhero side but that would just be embarrassing beyond description." The horned blond said musingly, rubbing his chin contemplatively. No way in hell was he going around in a silly mask and 'fighting crime'. If he tried that, he would just end up killing everyone that he decided deserved to die.

Somehow, he got the feeling that that kind of attitude wouldn't be very popular among the 'superhero community'.

"I doubt you'd want to become one of these so called 'supervillains' either. It would be only marginally less embarrassing, not to mention that neither one of us has any interest in harming random bystanders just for the sake of fun." Xanna added.

Naruto sighed in agreement. "Fuck, this dimension is so damn cheesy that it's actually hard to think of anything fun to do. From what we've found out so far, the villains are almost entirely made up of morons and the heroes are both stupid _and_ corny. How do they expect to get anything done if nobody ever kills anyone?" He ranted to himself.

"I've been wondering about that myself actually. They act above the law and yet continuously spare obviously lost causes, no matter how many times it bites them in the ass, as if they are afraid that slaying evil will make them evil in turn." Xanna mused.

Naruto didn't reply, but instead gazed contemplatively at the city below, his mind churning over several ideas. From what they'd learned, Gotham was under the protection of Batman and his two sidekicks, the unimaginatively named Batgirl and the overly brightly dressed Robin. Just thinking about how ridiculous those three were made him want to giggle, though Batgirl was definitely hot so she could be forgiven.

Their ridiculous names, outfits and refusal to kill the bad guys aside, there just _had_ to be a way to have some fun with the situation.

"I think I may have an idea or two." He said eventually, with a slow grin spreading over his face.

"Oh? Do tell." She prodded.

"Well it would require some pretty good acting from you if you think you can manage it." He replied, already knowing what her response would be.

"Naruto, I am a _goddess_, I can do anything."

Naruto snickered. That joke was probably just going to get funnier now that they were going to be interacting with people again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto leasurely made his way into the abandoned building(the city had a remarkably large amount of them) where he had just now seen three men drag a desperately struggling young woman that looked to be in her early twenties, claws flexing in anticipation of what he intended to do.

Xanna had agreed to his plan after some arguing and they had separated. She had ensconced herself in a comfortable hiding spot and was using a severely overpowered version of the Byakugan to keep an eye on him. Not because she was worried about him, but to keep herself amused until it was time for her debut.

Naruto personally thought it was really cool that she was now the holder of pretty much every bloodline to have ever existed in the Elemental Nations. It had surprised him at first, but it made sense...all bloodlines had originated from the Shinju and she had taken over that spot as well as retaking all chakra in the world, thus returning everything to her.

Meanwhile, Naruto had gone into the city to look for some trouble. The concrete and steel nature of it dulled his ability to sense life in a most displeasing manner, but it had no impact on his Negative Emotion Sensing, which he had developed after eating the Chakra Fruit.

He'd barely been in the city proper for half an hour when he'd sensed the negative emotions being generated by what was obviously an abduction that was going to be followed by rape.

He could only shake his head at the stupidity of the city's supposed defender. While he wasted time catching and recatching the same criminals over and over again, atrocities like this were allowed to happen unchecked.

The men had just thrown the woman on a dirty matress and were in the process of removing their coats when Naruto entered behind them.

The woman saw him and her eyes widened at his appearance, but nobody had time to react any further as tree roots broke through the floor and blocked the exit. At the same time as that happened, two of the men were impaled non-fatally through the lungs by roots that had grown right behind them.

Naruto smiled to himself in grim approval when he saw that. Their deaths would be slow and suitably agonizing and they wouldn't be doing any annoying screaming due to being impaled through the lungs.

The apparent leader of the trio spun around and fell on his ass in shock and fear at the sight before him. No doubt he was thinking that a demon had come to kill him.

"Stay back!" He squealed desperately and backed away as far as he was able before hitting a wall.

Naruto cocked his head quizzically at the would be rapist. "You don't actually expect me to listen to you do you?"

It was rather fortunate that Xanna had already used the Human Path to learn english from some unlucky criminal and then passed it on to him, otherwise this wouldn't be much of a conversation.

"I'll give you anything you want!"

Naruto gazed contemplatively at the terrified man, idly noting that the other two had just died. "I _suppose_ that I could let you go if you did something for me."

The man's face lit up with hope. "Anything you want, I'll do it, just don't kill me please."

Naruto nodded and gave his terms. "I want you to cut out your own heart and eat it, if you can manage that, then I won't hurt you."

The previously hopeful visage turned ashen. "Please don't kill me!" He begged desperately.

"I guess that means that you won't do as I said?" Naruto asked rhetorically. "That's not very nice, you already said that you'd do anything. Going back on your word like that is really bad form." He scolded.

"I don't wanna die!" He wailed, tears and snot now running down his face in rivers.

"I'm sure that the young lady over there didn't want to be raped either, but that didn't seem important to you, so I'm really confused by your behavior." The horned blond said in a tone of mild confusion even as he drew the Kusanagi from it's sheath with a rasp of steel. "Weren't we all doing whatever we wanted without regard for others?"

The man was at this point just blubbering in incoherent terror and was thus unable to respond.

Seeing that the conversation was over, Naruto stabbed the Kusanagi into the man's chest with the blunt side turned upwards, making sure to miss his vitals. The man screamed as he was lifted into the air by the sword in his chest and reflexively grabbed it.

"You seem like the type to think that any woman you forced yourself on would enjoy being 'impaled' by your 'sword'. "Naruto said in a conversational tone. "I would really appreciate it if you could describe to me exactly how enjoyable it is to be impaled against your will, just to satisfy my curiosity."

The would be rapist continued to scream in pain, though not as loudly anymore and tried to push himself off the blade unsuccessfully. Despite holding a grown man up in the air by the end of his sword with just one hand, the Kusanagi remained rock steady, Naruto's strength more than great enough for something like that. The man's own body weight kept pushing him down on the blunt side of the sword painfully.

Naruto frowned when he didn't get an answer. "Well if you're going to give me the silent treatment, then fuck you too." Upon saying that, he twisted the Kusanagi around so that the sharp side was pointed upwards, which caused the preternaturally sharp blade to slowly cut upwards as gravity continued to assert its power.

Naruto removed it just before it could start cutting into the skull, as he had no desire to see brains sliding out of the skull and wobbling around on the floor thank you very much. As a final touch he swung it swiftly so as to send the blood flying off and resheathed it.

With that done, he turned towards the terrified woman who had been observing the entire spectacle with silent horror. She scooted away and whimpered as soon as he approached, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to make herself as small as possible.

She stiffened and started shaking when he sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug, fearing that she had just exchanged a set human rapists for a single demonic one, not thinking clearly enough to note that the horned blond clearly didn't approve of such an act.

"Shhhh, it's alright. You're safe now." He purred into her ear softly, petting her hair at the same time. "Just relax, everything is going to be ok."

Almost against her will, her body relaxed into the warm embrace and her breathing slowed to a more normal pace from its previous terrified panting. Unknown to her, he had imbued chakra into his voice to give the words greater force...she was being compelled to listen. A person with a strong enough will could resist, but people like that were rare.

Naruto continued to issue a low, throaty growl that sounded a lot like purring and held her until she had completely calmed down.

"There we go, all calmed down. You're such a good girl." He murmured to her. "What's your name?"

"Rachel." She answered softly and clung tightly to him when he stood up and started to carry her out of the building. She didn't put too much thought into why she suddenly felt so comfortable being held by the extremely scary stranger, he _had_ saved her after all and he was being so nice.

"Well Rachel, you're going to have to tell me where you live so that I can get you there."

" 'Kay." She murmured and buried her face into the crook of his neck.

"So cute." Naruto whispered to himself. She really was cute too, all soft brown hair and big brown eyes.

**_Naruto, you had better not be picking up any little sisters._** Xanna's voice echoed in his mind sternly.

_But..._ He tried to protest.

**_No. _**She repeated with the same stern tone.**_ You know that we aren't going to be staying in this dimension very long. You'll just mope later if you have to leave her behind._**

_I guess..._ He agreed grudgingly. After ten years without any little sisters to cuddle and tease, he was just about ready to invade an orphanage or something equally drastic.

Xanna sighed and spoke again. **_I promise that we'll stay longer in the next dimension and you can pick up as many little sisters as you want there._**

_You are the best wife ever, I love you so much._ He returned happily.

**_And you husband, are a brute with a very strange fetish, but I love you anyway._**

Naruto continued to hold Rachel tightly as he followed her directions towards where she lived. He was also bending the light around them to make them invisible, exactly the way that Xanna had showed him. With his hair and haori, he would have stuck out like a beacon in the rather gloomy Gotham night time.

Sometimes, he still marveled at the ease of chakra control he had now that the chakra truly belonged to him. He'd never even noticed how much he had to struggle to make it work for him before Xanna had gifted him with the Chakra Fruit. Now that the chakra was his instead of being stolen from the original Shinju, it was eager to obey his wishes instead of resisting him. He was even capable of Genjutsu and medical Ninjutsu!

"What's your name?" His passenger asked suddenly, apparently recalling that he had never given her his name.

"You can call me Uzu." He couldn't go around using his real name just now, because there was a small chance that it would screw up his and Xanna's plans for later. Slight though the chance was, it would still work better if he had only one name. Uzumaki Naruto sounded too human for what they had planned.

Xanna had teased him incessantly over his lack of imagination though, especially after the way he had bitched over the lack of imagination that the local superheroes had with their names.

Rachel was quiet for a little while before she tentatively spoke up again. "Are you a demon?"

Naruto couldn't help chuckling in amusement at the question. "Depends on who you ask."

The mysterious non-answer seemed to relax her further for some reason, but Naruto certainly wasn't going to complain about it.

"Can I touch your horns?"

Naruto burst into surprised laughter at the blurted out question and the blushing face that accompanied it. "Knock yourself out."

Face on fire at her own forwardness and the amused smirk being leveled at her, Rachel nevertheless reached out to touch the protrusions and ran her hands over them curiously. She yelped in surprise when Naruto suddenly swung her around so that she was sitting on his shoulders, but quickly found herself enjoying the new position.

"This is so cool." She said with a small grin and grabbed the horns as if they were a steering wheel, using them to navigate him towards her home.

Naruto snorted out another laugh but let her do as she pleased. If something as minor as that helped her feel better after what had nearly happened to her, then he was more than happy to let her have some fun, even if it was at his expense.

He couldn't keep himself fom commenting when she started subconsciously rubbing his horns rather suggestively though.

"Well aren't you a naughty girl, but I'm afraid you can't give my horns a handjob."

He could almost hear the blood rushing to her face as she jerked her hands away as if they'd been scalded.

"Sorry!"

"Don't be, I'm just teasing you." He reassured, sensing that she felt genuinely ashamed at being called out on it. She probably hadn't even been aware of what she was doing.

Reassured, she tentatively put her hands back on the horns and kept them there for the rest of the trip home.

"That's where I live." She said, pointing towards an apartment building.

Naruto was amused to note that she actually sounded disappointed that the trip was over.

"You've had an exciting day, so you should go get some rest." He told her as he set her down.

"Will I ever see you again?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"Probably not, though I have no doubt that you'll be hearing about me on the news soon enough."

She looked a bit saddened at that, but not surprised.

"Wo-would you like to come upstairs?" She asked with a stuttering blush.

Naruto gave her a hug and murmured into her ear. "I'm flattered, but I really have places that I need to be."

One of the side effects of speaking to people while enhancing your voice with chakra to make yourself more persuasive was the fact that it made you attractive to them in the extreme. It even worked on men, which was more than a tad creepy.

If he'd used it to inspire fear then the target would be left feeling irrationally afraid of him even years down the line. It was a powerful ability and not one he had any intention of using often. The only reason he'd used it on Rachel was because he knew that she had been scared out of her mind and definitely not rational enough to believe him if he simply told her that he wasn't going to hurt her.

Either way, Naruto wasn't going to be sleeping with any woman that was under the effects of mild brainwashing(even if it had been for a good cause).

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Had fun?" Xanna asked with a raised eyebrow when he returned to their temporary hiding spot.

She was lounging on a wooden, moss covered throne that she had grown with the Mokuton. The way that she was sitting with her legs crossed so that one of the delicious looking limbs was almost completely exposed through the slit was instantly enough to catch his attention, as was the way that she was sticking her chest out. He could see the faint outline of her nipples through her thin, chakra formed kimono, already hardened with arousal.

"Yeah..." He answered distractedly as he approached her.

Xanna smirked to herself. Such an obviously inviting position never failed to catch his attention. It had been a very faint concern of hers that his attraction to her would diminish over time and she was very pleased that it was as strong as ever.

She gave a slight groan of pleasure as he kissed her deeply and tugged the kimono aside to roll one of her nipples between his thumb and index finger at the same time. Having a true physical body of her own was a delight in many ways and Naruto, being the considerate husband that he was, made sure to remind her of it frequently.

When he moved his mouth down to her nipples she dismissed her clothing, leaving her naked, with Naruto doing the same right afterwards.

Instead of allowing the blond to make any further headway on his own initiative, she grabbed his horns and pulled his head in between her legs.

"Honestly, letting that girl grab your horns like that when you belong to me. You had better make it up to me." Though the words were scolding, they were said with an expectant pant as the blond inhaled a deep whiff of her glistening nether lips.

The only reply she received was an abnormally long tongue plundering her insides, making her arch into his face with a cry and pull him even closer by his horns, feeling his sharp teeth scraping over the sensitive flesh.

Naruto had definitely been on to something when he'd immediately identified the horns as points of sexual interest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**_Newcomer in Gotham City: Hero or Villain?_**

_We have recently become aware of a new arrival in Gotham who goes by the name of Uzu. As you can clearly see by the appended artists rendition of him, he does not appear to be human and has unknown motives for coming to our city._

_His first known action in our city was to save a young woman from being raped, brutally killing the men who assaulted her and then carrying her home._

_In spite of saving a young woman from sexual assault, we are hesitant to label him a hero due to his 'take no prisoners' attitude, which is a marked difference from what we are used to from our heroes. Additionally, he seems to be entirely indifferent as to whether people know his name and appearance._

_Perhaps the greatest surprise about him is that aside from using a sword, he also has the power to control plants, just like the villainess Poison Ivy, making many wonder what-if any- connection Uzu has to her._

_Only time will tell which side of the law he is on and what he is here to do. Readers are however encouraged to vote on our poll and give your opinions on whether Uzu is a hero or a villain._

Bruce Wayne, otherwise known as Batman, put down the week old newspaper article with a frown, once again trying to puzzle out this new mystery.

Since that day, an ever increasing amount of people had started turning up dead, some of them known criminals and some of them not. Public opinion indicated that people thought of Uzu as a sort of anti-hero, someone who had no faith that the law would do the job it was supposed to, so he was taking matters into his own hands.

As far as the police were concerned, he was a criminal that was charged with nearly a hundred counts of murder by now.

Bruce agreed with the police on this, he didn't believe that slaughtering every criminal was the right way. Uzu's behavior was erratic and unpredictable though, he killed some and spared others with no readily apparent reason.

Additionally he was far more helpful whenever he saved women. The men he simply looked over to make sure they were alright, but he escorted the women home more often than not, a curiously chivalrous gesture from an otherwise ruthless man.

He'd already gone to interrogate Poison Ivy in Arkham if she had any connection to this newcomer, but that had turned out to be a dead end. Though Ivy had been stunned by the news and clearly wanted to meet Uzu.

One thing was for sure though...he definitely had the average crook in Gotham shaking in their boots.

Bruce hadn't been able to get any information on the horned man at all and neither had he managed to confront him. Despite his brazen behavior, this Uzu was remarkably slippery and hard to pin down. He would find him though, find him and put him behind bars.

There was no place for people who killed so easily in Gotham, even if those killed were criminals. After all, how long would it take before he turned his attention on the innocent?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto sat on a wooden throne, aiming a smug grin at the seemingly empty warehouse he was in as he languidly twirled his black shakujo around and waited for Batman to reveal himself. After spending a good week and a half frustrating the man with his ability to kill anyone he pleased without anyone being able to stop him, he'd finally let himself be tracked to this semi-cliche warehouse hideout.

Oh, the caped one had certainly tried hard to pin down his location, but there wasn't much you could do against invisibility, life sensing, emotion sensing, teleportation and various other abilities as a regular human. Though Naruto could certainly give him points for effort...as far as regular humans went, Batman had been mightily impressive.

The man in question stepped out of the shadow he'd been failing to hide in so far and directed a narrow eyed glare at the lounging blond.

"Hello." Naruto greeted pleasantly, never losing the grin.

Batman continued to glare silently, but made no move forward. When he saw that the blond was apparently content to outwait the universe with that smug grin on his face, he decided to speak up.

A rather odd situation for him actually, as the bad guys were often prone to monologuing.

"You allowed yourself to be found for some reason, I want to know what that reason is." He demanded cooly.

"You figured that out did you? You must be smarter than I gave you credit for, but perhaps your cute little sidekicks would like to join us for this discussion? I'm sure it must be uncomfortable to lurk in the rafters like that." Was the mild response, but it caused some surprise for the still hiding duo.

A small nod from Batman caused them to drop down to his side so that all three of them were facing the relaxed blond.

"So, what can I do for you three? Be aware that I'm not into masks in case you're looking to sell."

They ignored the second sentence, though Batgirl and Robin were becoming a bit unnerved the the strangeness of the situation. Usually they would be eyeballs deep in traps and henchmen by now.

"You didn't answer my question." Batman stated, intently looking if he could find any discernible weakness. He fully expected it to come down to a fight soon, but it was always good to gather information first.

"I don't recall you asking me any questions." Naruto replied, seeming to be honestly puzzled.

Batman's face took a distinctly annoyed cast as he clarified. "Why did you let yourself be found?"

"Oh, I just wanted to meet the man who is shameless enough to go around dressed like that as he fights crime." The blond answered with a smirk.

After answering the superhero's question, he turned his gaze towards the only female present and looked her over with clear appreciation. "Though I must say that your associate looks _much_ better in that kind of outfit."

Batgirl wasn't sure if she should feel complimented or repulsed at the blatant once over.

"Why did you come to Gotham? Why have you been killing so many people?" Batman demanded, wanting to see if the horned blond was in a sharing mood. Many villains he'd encountered so far seemed all too eager to reveal their plans and it often caused their downfall.

Naruto sighed in disappointment and asked a question of his own. "Didn't you want to ask something more obvious first?"

When he got nothing but mildly confused silence for a few seconds he prompted them again. "Perhaps you Batgirl? Do you have any questions burning in your brain?"

Batgirl frowned slightly as she considered whether she should play along and decided that there was no harm in it. He did say if they had any _obvious _questions for him and there was definitely one very obvious question on her mind ever since she'd seen him.

"What are you?"

Naruto grinned widely as the redhead asked exactly what he'd been hoping for. He'd seen her oggling his horns, claws, fangs and whisker marks ever since she'd dropped down from the rafters, which was why he'd directed his question to her specifically.

"Horny." He told her with a leer and deliberately extended his tongue an obscene distance out of his mouth.

Batgirl recoiled with a blush, feeling highly uncomfortable at the blatant sexual interest being displayed in her. She was used to being treated as a nuisance by villains, not as a woman. The suggestive waggle he made with his tongue before he returned it to his mouth certainly didn't improve the situation.

"How long have you been waiting to say that?" Robin asked dryly once the initial shock at the extra long tongue had faded. Despite the rather tense situation, he couldn't help but find the terrible pun amusing.

"Pretty long." Naruto replied with obvious amusement and ran a finger across one of his horns.

"Enough!" Batman commanded, becoming irritated with the disturbingly friendly banter between his sidekicks and the man they were intending to arrest. "Why have you been killing people?"

Instead of answering the question, Naruto sighed tiredly and adressed Batgirl again, completely ignoring Batman. "Is he always that wound up?"

Batgirl once again felt uncomfortable. The horned blond hadn't even bothered standing up, much less done anything hostile and now he was holding a conversation with her as if they were friendly acquaintances instead of enemies.

The fact that Batman _was_ in fact that wound up almost constantly was another point of discomfort.

She was saved from having to answer by Batman losing his patience with the conversation and interrupting again.

"Uzu, you've committed multiple murders and are a wanted man in the eyes of the police. Will you turn yourself in peacefully?" He asked despite knowing that the possibilities of it were pretty remote. It never hurt to try.

"Ararara, I don't remember murdering any people, what are you talking about?" Naruto asked quizzically. It was apparently time to put things in motion.

"Don't play games with me, there have been multiple eye witness reports of you killing over two dozen people and circumstancial evidence for many more."

"Oh _that_." Naruto said in apparent realisation. "I hardly think that disposing of that trash counts as murder. You wouldn't considering putting down a rabid animal murder would you?"

"You've been killing _people_ not rabid animals." Batman asserted with a glare at the blond's callousness.

"I will concede that they were not animals. They _chose_ their path, making them far lower than animals. They needed to be purged from this world as soon as possible and I consider it a failing on your part that you failed to do this before my arrival."

All three heroes fumed at the accusation, something which they definitely didn't want to hear from a remorseless killer.

"Nobody has the right to decide who gets to live or die, not you and not me. We aren't gods." Batman said, firmly, keeping the anger out of his voice. He knew better than to let himself be provoked.

Naruto snorted. "You certainly aren't, but I _am_."

The three heroes were taken aback by the blunt claim to godhood. Not even the most delusional villains they'd fought had ever claimed to be gods and they honestly didn't know how to react to it. What they did realise, was that the man before them was hideously dangerous and not just because of his presumed power, but also because he was no doubt going to feel justified in everything he did.

"You see so little, not even trying to understand the bigger picture. By killing those people I am doing a favor both to them and those who remain in this world. The living will no longer be preyed upon and those slain can no longer continue to build up bad karma before they return to the cycle of Samsara. In this way, I am shortening their suffering in the Realm of Hell before they are reincarnated."

It had been both surprising and funny to discover that the six paths of the Rinnegan were a religion in this dimension. Though to be fair, it could have been a religion back in the Elemental Nations as well. The chronic inability of the people back in his and Xanna's original dimension to keep track of their own history could easily account for the lack of mention of it. Neither he nor Xanna were at all surprised to find some overlap between dimensions, it made sense since it was likely the same set of gods that had created them.

Either way it was good for shoveling some bullshit. The whole 'Six Realms in the Cycle of Samsara' was entirely philosophical and not even close to how the afterlife worked, but it _had_ given him this idea for screwing with people.

"You think you're some kind of divine messiah, saving people from their own sins by killing them before they can make it worse for themselves?" Robin asked, his incredulity coming through clearly.

Naruto snorted again. "Hardly. Even though I am a god, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to do this normally."

"Then why _are_ you doing this?" Batman asked with a scowl.

"For fun." Naruto answered with a fanged grin.

"Fun?" Batgirl echoed in disbelief, horrified by the complete lack of respect for life the horned blond was displaying, even if those he was killing were criminals.

"Uh huh." Naruto nodded, disregarding their negative reaction. "I've got to keep myself busy until I finish what I've come to do on this world after all."

"And what would that be?" Batman asked cooly, hiding his anger at the blond.

"That is...a secret." He said with a smirk and stood up from the Mokuton made throne.

He had a vague thought about how many of these thrones he and Xanna were leaving all over the place. It would probably leave quite a few people scratching their heads when they came across them later.

The three heroes tensed, preparing for a fight as the blond started walking towards them.

"Well, it was fun talking to you. Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go kill some more people." Naruto said with a careless shrug and started making his way towards the exit.

"We do mind actually." Batman said and moved forward to attack, followed by his sidekicks.

Naruto quirked an amused eyebrow at their cautious approach, not even bothering to get into a ready position as he leaned on his shakujo. "Even if you mind, I don't see what you can do about it."

Batman didn't answer but attacked instead, even though he didn't like attacking someone that was clearly not intending to fight. Usually the villains would be right in the middle of some diabolical plot or more than willing to get into a fight, so this lackadaisical attitude was throwing him off.

Naruto had no problem at all avoiding the slow attack. Batman was the type that would no doubt have been at least a Kage level shinobi if he had chakra, but the fact was that he _didn't_ and was therefore nothing more than a very impressively trained normal human.

He let the shakujo disperse as he continued to evade the attacks of the three heroes, sometimes letting them strike him just for the sake of amusement as he saw their frustration at being unable to even bruise him.

Giving both Batman and Robin a light push to send them stumbling away, he caught Batgirl's leg when she slammed a kick into his side and pulled her close to his chest.

"How would you like to ditch these two losers and go somewhere more private with me?" He asked while his hand crept up her thigh and towards her rear end.

"As if!" She snapped back with a glare, clearly angered by his proposition. She also tried to get free, but discovered that she was utterly helpless against his strength.

She managed to get loose when a metal object bounced off Naruto's skull and he let the woman go in exchange for grabbing whatever had struck him in the head.

Examining the strangely bat shaped projectile in his hand curiously, he turned to the thrower. "What's this?"

"A batarang." Batman answered evenly.

Naruto snorted out a laugh at the ridiculous name and replied to the man in a completely deadpan tone. "A batarang? Seriously? Do you have a twelve year old boy hidden somewhere that names these things for you or something?"

Robin, who had been behind Naruto's back the entire time and who was being completely ignored, chose this moment to some bolas at the blond, binding his arms to his chest.

"You might be strong, but that wire is made of a carbon reinforced polymer. There's no way you can get free, even if you are a 'god'." Robin said with a smirk, his tone tinged with mockery at the end.

Naruto turned towards the garishly dressed sidekick and bared his teeth in a mockery of a grin as he replied. "Then I guess that I must be _stronger than god_!"

Even as he spoke he was already straining his arms hard, causing the wire to creak ominously and then snap loudly.

While the three heroes looked stunned at the display of raw strength, just now realising how easily he could have ended them, Naruto made several poses at Batgirl, making the redhead huff irritably at his continued attempts to get her interested in sleeping with him.

Inwardly though, he was impressed by the wire. It was much, _much_ stronger than anything that had been used in the Elemental Nations, especially as it was not chakra enhanced. It may not have done anything to his indestructable chakra haori, but it had broken his skin under it from the pressure he'd needed to exert in order to snap it, which was no small feat.

"Well, this has been an amusing little diversion, but I guess I'll be going since Batgirl isn't interest in sleeping with me."

"And you think we're just going to let you leave?" Batgirl asked with some incredulity, even though she was also wondering how to stop this juggernaut.

"The only way you could possibly get me to stay is if you dropped your panties." Naruto replied airily and sent chains after them.

To their credit, all three heroes avoided the initial attack and instantly deduced that staying in a confined space would work to their disadvantage. Before they could get outside however, thick tree roots blocked off the exit.

Shortly after, Robin was captured when he tried to escape through the roof, followed by Batgirl. Batman lasted only slightly longer, but was also inevitably captured. He could have made it out, but was unwilling to leave his sidekicks behind, which caused his capture.

All three of them struggled uselessly for a while before deciding to conserve their energy. It was hardly the first time that they'd been captured, though usually it wasn't all three of them at once. At the very least, the horned blond didn't seem to have any interest in actually killing or even harming them.

Naruto shifted the chains around so that Batgirl's hands were bound behind her back and her legs were held slightly spread by the chains winding their way around them even as she was suspended in the air. The other two were simply bound like potato sacks and similarly held in the air.

He moved towards the redhead and gripped her face in his clawed hands, causing her to try leaning away, but to no avail. She said nothing when he removed her mask, aside from aiming a furiously defiant glare at him, which did nothing except make him chuckle.

"Cute glare you've got there, it goes well with the pretty face it's on." He said with a smirk.

"So what are you going to do now that you know our identities?" She asked with heavy sarcasm. "Tell it to every piece of scum in the city?"

"Actually, I have no idea what your real name is, though I would like to know." Naruto said as he ran his fingers through her hair, ignoring her obvious discomfort. Gesturing towards the other two, he spoke again. "As for them...I don't even care. They aren't sexy women, so they can go hang. Get it? Hang?" He finished with a grin, gesturing to the two men hanging suspended in his chains.

Batgirl was at first incredulous but then groaned at the terrible pun. Just her luck to be captured by a flaming pervert with a penchant for making bad puns.

"Now then my dear, as you can see I am especially well suited for bondage play. Have you reconsidered my earlier proposition?" Naruto asked, grinning at the bound woman.

"Why the hell would that make me reconsider?!" She burst out in angry incredulity.

Naruto looked utterly crestfallen by her words. "You mean...you aren't into bondage?"

"No!"

"Oh...I thought for sure that you would be, based on that skintight outfit you're wearing." He muttered disappointedly.

She merely glared at him in answer.

"How about some S&M? You can be the S first if you want." Naruto offered generously.

"No!"

"You want to be the M?" He asked again, sounding excited at the prospect.

"NO damnit! I AM NOT A PERVERT!"

"That's a load of crap, _everyone_ is a pervert." Naruto asserted with a scoff.

"Well I'm not!" She shot back, red faced from both anger and embarrassment.

"If you weren't, then you wouldn't have known what I'm talking about." He countered with a grin.

Batgirl took a deep breath, visibly struggling to regain her calm. She knew that she shouldn't have let herself be provoked so easily but the horned blond was remarkably good at provoking people.

"I am not into bondage, S&M or anything even remotely similar and even if I was, it certainly wouldn't be with a monster like you." She said with conviction, staring him dead in the eye.

"So, just to be sure...You _don't_ want to have sex with me?" He sounded honestly confused, as if something like that just didn't compute. As far as he was concerned, being called a monster was a compliment.

"No, I don't want to have sex with you!" She snapped, feeling humiliated by their easy defeat and her patience strained by his constant attempts to get into her panties. His arrogant self assurance that she would want to sleep with him certainly didn't help.

"What if I told you that I can make you scream in pleasure until you pass out?"

"NO!" She shouted into his face.

"Too bad, so sad." He said with a sigh, though he was obviously not as put out as he pretended to be.

Tree roots then grew under her and bound her, the same happening to Batman and Robin even as the chains retreated. Batgirl only now saw that Robin was apparently saying something, but no sound was getting through.

"What did you do to them?" She demanded.

Naruto looked over at the bound males and gave a shrug. "I'm just preventing any sound from reaching us, nothing to get excited about."

He continued speaking before the redhead could reply. "Well, since you don't want to have a good time, I'm going to Arkham to have myself a little bloodbath. It might be funny to see what you guys do if someone slaughters all the bad guys." He finished with a snicker, obviously amused by the thought.

Having done what he had set out to do, Naruto made his way out, leaving the three heroes bound by roots. They'd get out soon enough, but not soon enough to prevent his little killing spree in Arkham. He absentmindedly crushed the small tracking device that Batman had planted on him during the fight. The man would have to try harder if he wanted to slip something like that past him.

Now it was up to Xanna to make things even more confusing for the heroes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Poison Ivy, or Pamela Isley if you prefer, was feeling rather frightened.

This was not a feeling that she liked.

Even when going up against batman and his cronies, there was usually nothing to be afraid of because their no killing policy. The screaming and general chaos she could hear outside of her cell indicated that something much more sinister than normal was going on.

The occasional booming laughter and agonized screaming that she could recognize as belonging to the other inmates didn't help.

Eventually the cause of the disturbance reached her and she caught sight of him through the small opening in her cell door. She backed away as soon as the burning slitted gaze settled on her and the bloodied sword was raised.

She barely saw the flash of metal as it sliced through the door and caused it to collapse on the floor in chunks.

She recognized Uzu easily, but any thoughts of wanting to meet him had fled her mind in the current situation. He'd clearly come here with intent to kill and it looked as if he was mostly finished with that intent. She was woefully unprepared to defend herself in the current situation and just stared at him defiantly, refusing to show any fear.

Contrary to her fears that he would kill her, he just cocked his head at her slightly and then turned his back on her.

Poison Ivy blinked in surprise, her mind replaying the arrogant dismissal she'd just received.

Meanwhile, the horned blond had sliced apart the cell next to her own, which held the Joker's chief henchwoman and her only friend Harley.

A short while later, both women were standing together just outside their cells, staring nervously at the much taller man who seemed to be deep in thought as he stared at them.

"What am I going to do with you two? You're both supposedly really bad girls, but you don't _feel_ like really bad girls and I don't like killing girls anyway." They caught him muttering, making them exchange confused glances.

"What did you do to mistah J?" Harley demanded a bit shakily and quailed when he turned his eyes on her.

"You mean the ugly clown?" Naruto asked curiously. As far as he knew, the only guy around here whose name started with a 'J' was the Joker.

"Uh...yeah." Harley confirmed, not wanting to argue about her boss being an ugly clown with this clearly dangerous...whatever he was.

"Cut his head off, I fucking hate clowns." He answered bluntly, making the woman recoil at the casual barbarity of it.

"What do you want?" Ivy asked cooly. Harley seemed to be suffering a mild breakdown due to the Joker's death, which wasn't surprising given the woman's obsession with the insane clown. Ivy was personally rather pleased that he was dead.

She had little doubt that they were among the last criminals left alive in Arkham if his claim of killing the Joker was any indication. The fact that she and Harley were still alive probably meant that Uzu still had some use for them. If they made themselves useful to him, they might be able to eventually get away from him.

Though Ivy couldn't deny that she was intrigued by his powers, so she might not be opposed to sticking around if she felt it to be worth it.

"Well, I _was_ going to kill you both, but I'm not getting any particularly evil vibes from you, so I've changed my mind on that." The words made Ivy relax ever so slightly. Harley was still dealing with her little breakdown.

"Maybe you'd be interested in a threesome? Batgirl was pretty harsh with her refusal of my propositioning and my fragile ego could use a boost." Naruto asked brightly.

Ivy almost snorted at that, putting his apparent attraction for Batgirl aside for now. She had the distinct feeling that Uzu's ego was anything but fragile. Still...it would be an easy way to poison him...

"Don't worry about your poisons either, they won't work on me."

Well...so much for that plan.

"They might not work on you, but they would work on Harley just fine." She said dryly, hiding just how nervous she was.

"That's true." Naruto said musingly. "And I seem to have broken her by killing the ugly clown, so she's probably going to need your help, which means you're not going to be available for some sex either." He finished with a sigh. That clown had been a real piece of work and definitely needed to die, but he didn't like seeing a woman looking that lost and broken.

Neither of the two women really felt evil, though he knew that they weren't entirely good people either. Naruto could hardly judge them for that though, considering that he wasn't exactly a paragon of justice himself.

Ivy remained silent, just staring at him warily, though she did move to give Harley a slight, one armed hug. Her earlier thoughts of intrigue by his powers were being rapidly eroded by his seemingly one track mind. It was like he didn't think of anything but sex and killing.

"Screw it then." He shrugged after thinking it over for a bit. "You're free to go, just try not to hurt random innocents and I won't have to change my mind."

"And who would you classify as random innocents?" Ivy asked cautiously.

"You know, just regular people going about their lives and the like." Naruto replied airily.

"Does that include humans who harm nature?" She asked, trying to get a feel for his beliefs on the subject.

"Most people don't do any deliberate harm to nature." He responded. "Besides, I don't know why you're getting so bent out of shape, humanity is going to go extinct long before they manage to kill nature and you're going to be dead long before either happens."

"Someone has to protect nature from their predations!" She responded heatedly, forgetting her fear of him for a moment.

He grinned at her obvious passion on this subject. "Suit yourself, I'm just saying that your impact is going to be minimal no matter what, especially when you're discrediting yourself by acting in an obviously criminal manner."

She fumed silently at him but said nothing.

"Anyway, You'll want to get going if you want to escape Batgirl's sexy grip...and those two lunkheads she travels with I suppose."

Poison Ivy frowned at the words, knowing them to be true. While she led Harley through the somewhat bloodied hallways(full of unconscious guards), she had to wonder at Uzu's fixation on women...or was it just Batgirl?

XXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto hummed to himself as he floated invisibly in the sky and observed the beehive of activity in the slaughterhouse formerly known as Arkham Asylum.

He was honestly confused by all this fuss over the lives of criminals who had proven over and over that they had no intention of ever turning over a new leaf. Ah well, maybe they'd get a clue once they realized how much better things were with those assholes dead.

Still, it had been an amusing distraction, especially messing with Batgirl.

Now it was his turn to lay low and let Xanna do her part in their game of 'Mindfuck the Heroes'.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Well, there goes the first chapter of what is most likely going to be a two chapter story at best.**

**I was undecided if I should even post this one, or if I should try writing in a universe I'm more familiar with but in the end I decided to just post it and hope for the best. I was fairly undecided about posting the first chapter for "Reaching for a Dream" too, but that turned out remarkably well, so here's to hoping I didn't flub out on my first crossover attempt :P.**

**On another note, I know that many people have been hoping that I would make a crossover with Highschool DxD or Bleach, but I've never watched either Anime or read either Manga, so I'd need to get familiar with those before I can attempt something like that. I might do that one day, but for now it's not going to be possible.**

**Ah, and don't forget to review xD.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Several people have mentioned that Harley is in fact immune to Ivy's poisons, which I didn't know, but it's a minor issue so I won't go correcting it. Lets just say that Ivy lied about that :P.**

**Other than that, I think I've already replied to all the reviews that needed replying. If I missed someone, then I apologize and invite you to PM me if you have questions.**

**With that out of the way, lets get to the actual chapter.**

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Clark Kent, also known as Superman, was awoken from his sleep by one of the couch cushin's sailing towards his head. He instinctively deflected it without really knowing what it was and surged to his feet in a ready stance, facing whatever enemy had attacked him in his home.

Still not fully awake, he assessed his attacker.

Female, white hair, dusky complexion, slitted red eyes, horns, taller than him and dressed in a manner that somehow managed to be both extremely provocative and highly dignified simultaneously.

"It's about time you woke up, I've been standing here, watching you drool into your pillow for the past 5 minutes. How did a meathead like you even survive to adulthood, much less become known as the strongest man alive?" Her voice would have been quite beautiful and melodious if it wasn't for the metaphoric acid dripping off her tongue.

"Wha?" He responded intelligently, completely off balanced. He had no idea how this demonic looking woman had managed to sneak into his apartment without waking him, not to mention that his brain was only now catching on to the fact that she apparently knew that he was Superman. Top that off with her insulting demeanor and you got one very befuddled superhero.

" 'Wha?' indeed you slack jawed monkey. Honestly, if _this_ is what I'm supposed to rely on for aid, then I might as well just abandon hope."

Clark managed to get some of his wits about him and tried to salvage the situation. "I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid you have the wrong person, I'm just a reporter."

"Of _course_ you are, because it's _normal_ for reporters to not panic when a horned woman breaks into their home. Not to mention that a _pair of_ _glasses_ is truly a disguise worthy of being recorded in song for the sheer _genius_ of it. With such _masterful_ camouflage, I can clearly see how you've managed to keep your identity secret from the hordes of retarded frog-monkeys infesting this world."

Clark could feel his face and ears burning from the merciless verbal assault, the caustically sarcastic tone harsh enough to burn a hole through solid rock. Nobody had ever taken him to task quite like that before. Personally he'd always though that his disguise was pretty clever, a hiding in plain sight type of thing.

Clearly, this strange woman considered it the height of idiocy.

Either way, it was obviously pointless to try keeping up the charade.

"Alright, you got me, I'm Superman. Might I have your name?" He said in his most charismatic manner and offered his hand, hoping to get the conversation away from things that would trigger her razor sharp tongue.

He didn't miss that she bore a remarkable similarity to Uzu, whom he knew to be Batman's latest problem in Gotham. Clark had offered to help, but Bruce could be quite stubborn about not accepting help when dealing with Gotham's problems. The League was still relatively new, so hopefully his bat themed colleague would eventually get used to the idea of cooperation on more than just the bigger issues.

Clark could see that his surprise visitor was visibly restraining herself from lashing out again when she spoke. "Xanna."

He lowered his hand awkwardly when it became clear that she had no intention of shaking it. He chastised himself for a moment when he considered that she was obviously not native to Earth, so a handshake was probably not something she was familiar with.

In reality, Xanna was perfectly aware of the custom of handshaking, she was just making things harder than they needed to be.

"You said you needed help?" Clark gratefully seized on the opportunity to move past the awkward moment and go into familiar territory.

"You alone will be insufficient, gather your 'Justice League' first, I have no desire to repeat myself." Xanna commanded.

Clark blinked, but nodded. This strange woman's abrasive attitude was starting to get on his nerves, but he couldn't argue that she had a point.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Batman made his way towards the central meeting area in the watchtower, knowing that he would be the last to arrive.

The call from Superman had come at a time that was both convenient and inconvenient. On one hand, he would be able to brief everyone on the threat of Uzu, whom he had admitted to himself that he couldn't handle alone. On the other hand, if some other pressing crisis had come up, he was going to have to let the horned blond to as he pleased until it was resolved, which he was not in the slightest bit happy about.

He stopped in surprise when he saw that in addition to the other members, there was also a stranger present.

A stranger with features that were eerily similar to his current problem.

"What's going on?" He demanded.

He'd been unable to determine what exactly Uzu was. On the surface, he looked like a demon, but he didn't act like any demon that Batman had ever encountered or heard of and now there was this sudden appearance of a woman with the same features.

"Batman, this is Xanna. She showed up in my apartment in the middle of the night, saying that she needed help, but she didn't want to repeat herself, so we don't know what with yet." Superman explained.

"I don't need someone that puts his underwear on the outside speaking for me you hairless ape." Xanna snapped at him.

Superman winced but kept his calm. He'd dealt with difficult people before and he knew that losing his temper wouldn't do any good.

Flash laughed at the verbal asskicking directed at Superman. The strange(but incredibly hot) horned woman had aimed a few barbs at the Kryptonian before Batman's arrival, but this had been a bit more vicious than before. "The sexy lady has a point big guy, it _does_ look like you put your underwear on over your pants."

Flash found a frigid crimson gaze directed at him for the comment, holding his attention hostage as she enunciated with a sense of finality. "If you had sexually harassed me like that on my homeworld, I would have had you flogged until there was a puddle of blood around your feet."

Flash swallowed nervously, a bead of sweat rolling down his face. "Ehehe, sorry?"

"And you have no ground to speak either way...You entire suit looks like a giant set of underwear. How you can go anywhere dressed like that without dying of shame escapes my understanding." She continued to speak with disdain, completely ignoring his apology.

Xanna kept a haughty and disdainful expression on her face, no matter how amused she was at the looks she was getting due to the torrent of vitriol she was bombarding them with. She'd been a bit doubtful over Naruto's plan to screw with these people, but so far it was working marvelously. Naruto's original idea had been for her to act like an innocent girl seeking help, but Xanna knew that she wouldn't have been able to pull that off convincingly. Thus, she'd gone with the persona of an ultra bitchy and self entitled princess.

"Excuse me, but could we get to the point?" Green Lantern said impatiently.

"I _was_ getting to the point, but then _someone_ decided to flap their monkey jaw, display their blunt monkey teeth and speak out of turn." She retorted scathingly.

"Now listen here-" Green Lantern began to say back but was interrupted by Superman, who could already see this devolving into an insult slugging contest.

"Settle down, lets just allow the lady to speak." He said with a hand on Lantern's shoulder, who was obviously fuming at the insult.

"Herbivores, thinking that they have a right to talk back to me just because they've managed to evolve enough to develop sentience by some miracle." Everyone heard Xanna muttering to herself disdainfully.

Visibly gathering herself, she started explaining why she needed their help, or rather...she started explaining the bullshit story that she and Naruto had concocted.

"I am the princess of my people, the Mazoku, hailing from the planet of Makai."

"The Tribe of Devils from the Demon World?" Batmam questioned, not letting any of his incredulity show.

"What?" Xanna responded flatly, making an expert show of being surprised. They had expected this to come up, just not so soon. Apparently Batman spoke Japanese.

"That's what those words mean in Japanese, Mazoku means 'Tribe of Devils' and Makai means 'Demon World'." Batman explained.

"Ungrateful apes. Why did we ever bother with this species?" Xanna once more muttered before explaining. "My people came to this world, more precisely to the country you now know as Japan, a long time ago and taught them some of our skills, language, traditions and religion. Apparently they didn't appreciate it and started calling us demons once we left."

"Can't imagine why." Lantern muttered sarcastically, earning himself another glare from Xanna.

"Anyway, I am being pursued by the strongest of my people and he has tracked me here." Well, any straight up battle between her and Naruto would be a stalemate since they were both immortal, but she was still a good bit stronger than her husband. Telling them that would ruin the joke though.

"Uzu?" Batman guessed.

"Yes. My mother the queen sent me here because she heard of the supposed power of Superman and this 'Justice League' of yours and thought that you would be able to safeguard me from him." Xanna had to struggle mightily not to snort at the idea of needing protection from Naruto. Even so, she was weaving a subtle Genjutsu to make them more trusting.

Wonder Woman was intrigued by the knowledge of another kingdom apparently ruled by women and resolved to ask Xanna some questions about it later, even if she did find the horned female's attitude appalling.

Superman rationalized to himself that her prickly attitude was a combination of stress from being hunted and natural arrogance due to being royalty.

"Why would he be chasing you?" Batman questioned further, the others letting him do his thing as he was the best interrogator among them.

"Nobody has ever heard him outright state the reason, but we believe it is because I am the current holder of the Magatama of Yasakani and thus, the Mirror of Yatta." At this point she gestured to the softly glowing magatama necklace that she was wearing just for show. "If he were to kill me, ownership of them would pass to him and empower him greatly." She inserted just the right amount of thinly concealed unease into her voice to make it seem sincere.

Seeing their terse expressions on her behalf, it was all Xanna could do not to crack up laughing.

_Damnit, this is harder than I thought it would be._

_What's wrong my dear? I thought you were a goddess that can do anything._ Naruto's teasing tone responded to her through their mental link.

_Shut up husband, you got the easy part of this plan so you have no right to comment._ She retorted.

"What do these items do?" Superman asked.

"The mirror is a magical construct that is capable of deflecting any kind of energy attack, but it requires the necklace in order to be used." She explained and formed a golden barrier between her hands.

She once again had to keep her face from showing the amusement she was feeling at their looks of interest. Honestly, show them something shiny and everyone starts gawking. Though the explanation of the Yatta Mirror was remarkably close to the truth, except for the fact that it was a Susanoo technique. The necklace she was wearing was nothing more than a shiny prop.

"The sword that Uzu carries...is it the sword of Kusanagi?" Batman asked shrewdly.

"I see legends of the items have persisted despite the passing of time. Yes, it is the sword of Kusanagi, the sword that pierces and severs all things. Uzu has taken it by force from it's previous wielder. Now he desires the other two items to complete the set." Well...Orochimaru was not exactly it's previous wielder if you counted Tenten, but that wasn't relevant right now.

She and Naruto had seen pictures of the three 'Japanese Imperial Regalia' and it had caused them much hilarity. The rusted piece of crap that passed for the Kusanagi in this dimension in particular had been the source of many chuckles.

"Wait wait, if you're a princess, don't you have guards to protect you?" Flash butted in.

"I was wondering about that myself." Hawkgirl added with Wonder Woman nodding along.

"Normally the royal guard would be enough to protect me, but they are insufficient to stop Uzu." Xanna responded.

"Why?" Batman asked simply.

Xanna sighed, as if it was a difficult subject. In reality she was forcing down her amusement at the crap she was about to feed them.

"Uzu was once a Sage of the Six Paths, a priest and a holy man, but something happened to shake his faith. He turned his back on the path of enlightenment and instead began to walk the heretical Outer Path, gaining many supernatural powers at the cost of his soul being forever lost in darkness once he dies..._if_ he dies. With the powers now under his command, none of my people have the strength to match him. He has even begun to believe himself a god whose purpose was to slay all evil in the mortal world. He is likely seeking the artifacts in my keeping in order to make this easier to achieve."

When Naruto had proposed that she tell them this little piece of fiction, she had burst out laughing in his face. The mere idea of Naruto being a holy man was just so absurd that anyone who had known him for even five minutes would have dismissed it out of hand.

"That certainly sounds like him." Batman said.

"You've already encountered him?" Xanna asked with faked sharpness.

"Yes, he's been going through the criminals in Gotham like a harvester, but he said he was only doing it to keep himself busy until he finishes what he's come here to do, which I'm guessing is finding you."

Xanna nodded, not quite trusting herself to speak without sounding amused.

"What can you tell us about him Batman?" Wonder Woman asked.

"He's very powerful, strong enough to break a carbon polymer wire with a little effort and fast enough to dance circles around us. He can command trees to grow out of nothing, form freely controlled chains out of his body and apparently create a buddhist staff out of some kind of malleable black substance at will as well as other things most likely. He's also very durable, nothing that I or my sidekicks did even scratched him. He wasn't even taking us seriously, so I can't be sure if he showed us all of his powers."

"What about his personality?" Green Lantern asked.

"He's a shameless pervert." Batman stated instantly, causing some incredulous blinking. "He spent most of the fight making lewd propositions to Batgirl and cracking jokes. If he wasn't an unrepentant killer, I would say that he was like an extreme version of Flash."

"Did you just make a crack at me?" Flash asked incredulously, only to receive a stone faced stare in return.

There were a few moments of silence before Superman spoke. "Are we all in favor of helping protect princess Xanna from Uzu?"

Everyone nodded their agreement. The question was just a formality, as they would obviously help, but it needed to be said.

Xanna's face showed some carefully faked relief and she spoke to them with a fake grudging tone before moving away. "Thank you."

Once the horned woman was gone, Batman turned towards the one member of the league that had remained silent the entire time. "J'onn, was she telling the truth?"

"I cannot say, her mind is completely shielded. If I wasn't looking at her, I would say that she wasn't even there." The Martian replied.

"Strange for a princess to have that kind of mental shielding." Batman said suspiciously.

"It could be training given to the royal family or even a hidden function of those artifacts she mentioned. If I had to guess though, I would say that it is natural to her species, as I have been unable to locate Uzu through telepathy as well." J'onn deflected, not ready to call her a liar based on that alone.

Batman merely gave a slight grunt in response.

A considerable distance away, in the room that they had given her aboard the Watchtower, Xanna was smirking.

Batman was so distrusting and suspicious that he didn't even trust the sense of trust that her subtle Genjutsu had inspired in him. That was impressive in a twisted kind of way. He would have fit right in if he had found himself in the Elemental Nations.

Well...he would fit in if he wasn't so hellbent on avoiding killing...and if he could resist the urge to dress up as a bat.

"Either way, we need to find this guy and stop him as soon as possible, we have no idea what he's going to get up to now." Green Lantern stated firmly, getting nods of agreement from everyone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored." Naruto chanted as he lay on the Mokuton grown bed that he and Xanna had broken in just before she had gone to break into Superman's apartment in the city of Metropolis. "No bad guys to kill, no heroes to mess with and no sexy wife to sleep with. I'm in hell." He bemoaned to himself melodramatically.

Alright, so maybe he was overreacting slightly, but he justified it to himself with the fact that he hadn't been truly separated from Xanna in ten years.

"What to do, what to do? I know that I'm supposed to lay low for a little bit before getting the Justice dorks to fight me, but there has to be _something_ I can do." He muttered to himself.

Suddenly he surged upwards into a sitting position as an idea manifested in his mind.

He started laughing to himself as he decided that he was going to do it. "Naruto old boy, you're a genius."

He frowned. "And I need to stop talking to myself, it's creepy as fuck."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto whistled as he looked around the batcave.

"Quite the setup he's got down here, gloomy as hell though."

It had been beyond easy to track the bat family here through their life signatures. That was also how he knew that there was nobody down here right now.

"Alright, since I'm here I might as well brighten this place up a bit. This one's for you Sakura."

Closing his eyes and focusing on what he wanted, he made trees grow around the gloomy cave. They didn't grow anywhere where they would be in the way, but every other surface was fair game.

Within a minute, the batcave was looking far more welcoming due to the sudden preponderance of sakura trees in full bloom. There was pink everywhere, on the branches, swirling through the air and littering the floor.

He especially made sure that the cherry blossoms would be sustained through his chakra instead of needing the sun. He might also have made them in such a way that they would be in permanent bloom and constantly regrow the pink petals.

He may or may not have also discreetly planted a few seals in the cave so that a constant slight breeze would carry the petals around in the air to give the whole place a magical pink princess atmosphere.

As a finishing touch, he placed a top of the line sex doll(which he'd stolen) on the chair in front of the humongous computer and then attached a note to her cleavage.

_Dear Batman,_

_I couldn't help noticing that you seemed rather stressed during our last encounter, so I wished to render my assistance. This fine young lady is named Emily and she is willing and eager to help you relieve some stress. You seemed like the type to like dark haired girls, so that was what I got you, aren't I a great friend?_

_Best regards, Uzu._

_P.S. I hear that it's unhealthy to be constantly surrounded by gloom, so I endeavoured to brighten things up a bit._

Nodding to himself in approval, he teleported to the manor for the other prank, vanishing from the batcave with a distortion of air.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alfred blinked in shock as he saw the very tall, horned man walking through Wayne Manor as if he owned it. He'd just now seen this very same man turn the batcave into a garden of cherry blossom trees on one of the cameras, but he didn't even get a chance to say anything before the man noticed him and approached.

Naruto had already pegged the elderly man as the very textbook definition of classy and decided on a somewhat different approach than normal.

"Excuse me good sir, but could you please direct me to the master bedroom?" he asked politely, complete with a slight bow.

"I'm afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave sir, you are trespassing on private property." Alfred replied through his befuddlement, falling back on manners and protocol when all else failed.

"I'm afraid I cannot do that sir, I am on a mission you see and that mission takes me to the master bedroom." Naruto countered with a grin that displayed many sharp teeth.

"If I may ask, why did you grow all those sakura trees in the batcave?" Alfred asked in an effort to gain control of the conversation.

"I thought I'd liven up the place. You know, add a lady's touch." Naruto explained.

"You sir, are no lady." Alfred countered.

"Well spotted sir, I can see you're a fan of the anatomical sciences too. We'll get along just fine I'll wager, my name is Uzu." The horned blond said and offered his hand.

"Alfred Pennyworth, a pleasure." The aged butler replied and shook the offered hand, unable to bring himself to be rude despite the situation.

"It was a delight meeting you Alfred, but I really must be on my way to the master bedroom."

"Only master Bruce is permitted entry to the master bedroom, so I cannot grant you that request. Now I really must insist that you leave sir, or I will call the police."

"Feel free to do so good sir, I will find the master bedroom myself and be long gone by the time the police get here, making you look crazy if you tell them that there is a horned man breaking into Bruce Wayne's bedroom."

Alfred opened his mouth to answer, but failed to come up with anything to say in response. Not that it would have helped, as Naruto had long since moved on by then.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Wonder Woman and Flash were looking around the batcave incredulously, not quite able to believe the overflow of pink in it.

The bat trio had each received an intruder alarm and Batman had brought along Wonder Woman and Flash in case it was Uzu. The others had stayed in the watchtower to protect Xanna in case it was a diversion of some kind.

"Uh...Batman, " Flash called from the computer. "seems like Uzu left you a present."

While Batman read the note on the sex doll in teeth grinding irritation, Wonder Woman inspected it curiously.

"What is this? Why would anyone want to create an artificial woman?"

"Umm, it's a sex doll...some desperate men who can't find any willing female company buy them to...uh...satisfy their urges." Flash explained with extreme amounts of awkwardness. This was not a conversation he had ever envisioned having and it was made doubly bad because he was having it with princess Diana of the Amazons.

Wonder Woman looked predictably disgusted and affronted. "Just when I think that men can't sink any lower, they find ways to prove me wrong. No wonder mother always told me that Man's World is a place full of depravity."

She understood that there was worth in men too, her new friends proved it, but seeing something like this really brought home how perverse men could be.

Flash nervously rubbed the back of his neck, having absolutely nothing to say in defense of his gender at this point in time.

Batgirl and Robin remained silent and shuffled around awkwardly. The palpable aura of anger surrounding Batman was not conducive to conversation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Batman's mood did not improve when the group made its way to the master bedroom.

"What are _these_?" Wonder Woman asked cautiously as she inspected the objects that Uzu had apparently left on Bruce Wayne's nightstand. She vividly recalled the explanation she'd received earlier for the sex doll down in the batcave and she had a bad feeling that it was going to be something similar this time.

"They're...um..." Flash started explaining and directed pleading looks towards the bat family, clearly asking someone else to take over, only to receive stony silence in return.

"They're what?" Wonder Woman repeated flatly. By this point she'd noticed that they bore a rather striking resemblance to the genitalia of male horses.

Seeing that there would be no salvation, Flash's shoulders slumped and he explained the purpose of Uzu's 'presents'.

"They're called dildos, some women use them to pleasure themselves if they don't have or don't want a man. Though in this case, Uzu left them to imply that Batman is sexually interested in men." He said in a dull monotone, inwardly swearing vengeance on a certain horned blond for putting him in this situation twice already.

"I see that even the women are perverse in Man's World." She muttered to herself and pointedly looked away.

Batman ignored the by-play between his fellow Justice League members and instead picked up the note that Uzu had left next to the dildos. This juvenile prank actually upset him less than what had been done to the batcave...though it didn't mean he was happy about it.

_I left these in case you are of a more...fruity persuasion._

_P.S. If Batgirl is there with you, then remember that sharing is caring._

_P.P.S. Actually, nevermind. I'll go to her apartment and give her something of her own, something special._

"We have to get to my apartment! We might be able to catch up to him." Batgirl urged, having read the message as well. Aside form wanting to catch him, she was also rather apprehensive of whatever perverted crap Uzu might leave at her place.

"Agreed." Batman responded and they made their way there without another word.

It was most probably a trap, but they couldn't just ignore it either.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The team of heroes cautiously entered the apartment of Barbara Gordon, wary of any possible traps despite the previously harmless nature of the pranks left by Uzu.

At first glance, there didn't seem to be anything different than normal, but they knew better than to assume that. That caution was rewarded when they made their way to her bedroom.

Wonder Woman entered first, being the most sturdy of them.

For several seconds after she entered, nothing happened, allowing Batman to enter behind her without issue. Without warning, her leg was snagged by something and it started pulling her to the other side of the room.

Her cry of surprise allowed Batman to avoid getting grabbed and he moved to help her.

"By Hera! What are these things?!" She exclaimed as she pulled her leg out of the hold of the veiny, purple and decidedly phallic looking creepers.

"You don't want to know." Batman grunted as he threw a batarang at a creeper that had grabbed her arm, cutting it and spraying viscous purple fluid everywhere. He absolutely refused to call them tentacles even in his head.

He'd spent a lot of time in Japan, so he knew exactly what had inspired Uzu to do this.

"It's like a bad hentai." Robin grunted as he used a grappling hook to tie up a group of creepers.

"I was trying real hard not to think about that." Flash shot back, using some wire that he'd borrowed from Batgirl to tie up more of them, while she threw batarangs to cut them. The small space effectively made his speed useless, aside from using his arms to speed-cut the occasional creeper.

"We need to destroy that pod over there! That's where they're growing from!" Batman called out, pointing at the disgustingly pulsating pod that was apparently attached to a shadowy corner of the room.

"The problem is getting there." Batgirl snapped angrily, desperately trying to keep her limbs free of the persistent growth. She firmly kept herself from thinking of the fact that they seemed to be aiming for their groins and faces.

"Enough of this!" Wonder Woman roared and launched herself at the pod, the creepers not being strong enough to stop her. She smashed a kick into it with as much strength as she could muster and destroyed it in a spray of disgusting purple fluid, coating all of them from head to toe.

"I am not even going to ask what a hentai is, or how it is related to this vile thing." The Amazon princess said with eerie calm, but she was clearly angry as she wiped the purple gunk off her face.

Flash thanked god for small mercies. The absolute last thing he wanted to explain to her was the freaky shit that the Japanese came up with.

"I'm going to kill him." Batgirl stated with simple finality that belied her boiling rage. "I don't care if we're not supposed to kill, that bastard is going to die a slow and painful death."

She was going to have to move because of this. There was no way that she would be able to sleep here again without being afraid of getting tentacle raped in the middle of the night, not to mention that her entire bedroom was soaked with whatever that purple stuff was.

Unlike Wonder Woman, she didn't have the comfort of not knowing what exactly the creepers were supposed to be.

"I agree, Uzu is clearly a sick man and needs to die for spawning this abomination." Diana said in support of the plan to murder the horned blond, almost as angry as Barbara.

She might not know the full context of what had just happened, but the theme of the earlier pranks and the behavior of the creepers was enough of a clue.

The males stayed silent as they wiped their faces. They weren't going to go for the kill the way that the women were clearly determined to at the moment, but they certainly wouldn't try too hard to save him if Uzu were to somehow find himself in mortal danger.

Besides, they knew better than to argue with a woman in the throes of righteous fury.

The clone that had been watching invisibly from inside the closet chose that moment to pop silently.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Hours later_

Naruto was bored again.

The memories that the clone had transferred back to him had been worth a good many chuckles, but there was only so long that you could be amused by something like that by yourself.

Though the fact that Wonder Woman had been present made the whole thing even funnier. Her reaction to his mutant hentai creeper plant had been priceless, even though she had cut the joke short. His clone had been controlling the thing from the closet and would have stopped it from actually doing anything aside from freaking the bat family out, but seeing them all covered in what Naruto referred to as 'hentai juice' had been even more amusing.

It made him wish that he had bothered to make clones to observe their reactions to his previous two pranks as well.

He and Xanna had come across the strange perversions that the humans here(the Japanese especially)had come up with while they were getting to know this world.

Xanna had facepalmed at the sheer bizzarity of some of it and muttered something uncomplimentary about humans.

Naruto thought that a lot of it was hilarious and had made a note of the funnier ones for the future, though some of it even he wouldn't touch. People who got their jollies by getting pissed or shat on disturbed him more than anything he had ever encountered by a large margin.

Xanna had flat out stated that if they ever encountered someone like that, that she would kill them without hesitation. It was by far the most disgusting thing that she had ever seen or heard of and considering her age, that was saying something.

But that was all in the past, in the present Naruto was once again bored.

He'd tried to get Xanna to have a mental conversation with him so that she could tell him about what was going on in the Watchtower, but she was firmly blocking him. The feeling of amusement she had been projecting every time that she had ignored him made him think that she knew how bored he was and was doing it just to mess with him.

He knew that she had done a lot more waiting than he had to, but they hadn't been separated like this at the time. Not to mention that she was a lot older than him and therefore a lot more patient by sheer necessity.

Both of them figured that just leaving a clone on the Watchtower would probably be a bad idea. It no doubt had sensors or whatever that would detect if she was suddenly duplicated or replaced by a wood clone or something.

At the very least, the waiting would be over soon. While Xanna worked on building up some more trust with the Justice League, he was to make a few minor appearances in the next few days and then top it off with another supervillain slaughter to provoke them into a fight.

Sighing in boredom, Naruto did something that he hadn't done in a long time.

He started meditating.

Almost right away something became obvious to him.

This world was _old_, far older than the Elemental Nations had been. Having never been able to compare it to anything before, he hadn't noticed just how young his original world was, but now it seemed so ridiculously obvious.

The slowly accumulating natural energy was very thick, though the various cities and deserts dotting the world counteracted that somewhat.

As he narrowed his focus to his immediate area, he noticed a life signature that was somehow both human and plant-like moving around in an area that he recognized as a spot where he had grown a few Mokuton trees just for kicks. Trees which were definitely not native to the area. It amused him to think that it would probably confuse the hell out of some botanist in the future.

He hadn't taken time to closely inspect her life signature when he'd met her in Arkham, but he was sure that it was Poison Ivy and she was apparently searching for him.

Naruto grinned to himself. It was either see what she wanted or wait until boredom compelled him into another wave of pranks.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Poison Ivy stared with undisguised fascination at what seemed to be a section of dense rainforest that belonged in Africa in what was otherwise a perfectly normal stretch of forest on the very outskirts of Gotham.

This was far beyond what she'd imagined Uzu to be capable of. She'd thought that his power was like hers, just an ability to speed grow and mutate plants, though perhaps on a greater scale. But this...this was nothing short of creating life out of literally nothing.

She was perhaps the only one who was capable of feeling the fact that all of these trees had the exact same feel to them, which must be a consequence of Uzu creating them.

She was broken out of her thoughts when something pinched her butt, causing her to yelp and jump forward reflexively.

Spinning around, she beheld a wooden arm growing out of the ground, which once again caused her jaw to drop. Her shock at the wooden limb was not lessened when it gave her a thumbs up.

She had the distinct feeling that she'd just been complimented on the firmness of her rear end.

Before she managed to get her wits about her and do something(though she wasn't sure what exactly), the hand pointed deeper into the small forest.

"Is that where he is?" She asked the hand.

The hand remained frozen in the same pointing position, looking as motionless as any tree.

She rolled her eyes at herself after a moment before muttering to herself and going in the direction it was pointing in. "I'm talking to a hand, of course it can't hear me."

A good twenty minutes of walking and several more pointing wooden hands later, she finally caught sight of the horned blond that she'd been looking for.

He was reclining in the middle of what appeared to be two wide tree roots covered in a thick layer of moss, grown into the shape of a reclining chair.

"Yo." He said with a short hand wave and then placed his hands back behind his head and closed his eyes.

Poison Ivy felt rather nonplussed by the lazy greeting and responded awkwardly. "Hi."

"Have a seat." He offered, roots rising up to form another, similar chair right next to the one he was lounging on.

Though fascinated by the fact that the roots didn't seem to be attached to any actual trees, she didn't make any fuss over it, getting comfortable in the offered seat instead.

"This is remarkably comfortable." She commented.

"That's the idea." He agreed. "I wasn't expecting company so I don't have much to offer you, but there's water in that pod over there if you're thirsty." Naruto added and pointed at a nearby branch from which a bulging pod was hanging.

Feeling slightly disturbed by the completely genial atmosphere and the clear disregard for her as a threat, Ivy used her own powers over plants to move the branch closer so that she could take a few mouthfuls of the surprisingly refreshing water.

The only thing it garnered her was an amused look that she couldn't match for very long. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't look at the creepy slitted gaze without becoming unnerved.

"So..." She started awkwardly, not really knowing how to start a conversation. She'd sought him out because her curiosity over his powers had become uncontrollable, but it wasn't going the way that she had thought it would. She'd figured that he would have taken control of the conversation and she would get to learn a few things in the process. Normally she wouldn't have walked into a situation where she would be so heavily disadvantaged, but she felt that it was safe enough to do since he'd already spared her life once.

"Yeees?" He drawled with a smirk, finding her discomfort rather amusing.

She huffed irritably at his tone and decided to just push her discomfort aside. "You're doing this on purpose aren't you?"

"You got me." He admitted. "I was actually feeling really bored and you came at just the right time to save me from it. I couldn't resist messing with you a bit."

"Well I'm so glad to be used as amusement for you." She retorted with some sarcasm.

"You make it sound so dirty." He teased. "If anyone heard you saying it like that, they would think I keep you around on a leash or something, not that I'd be opposed to seeing you in a leash if you're into that kind of thing."

A hint of color rose to her cheeks but she refused to get flustered so easily so she merely huffed at him again. "Pervert."

"You're damn right I'm a pervert." Was the proud reply.

"You're not at all like I thought you'd be based on the first time we met." She said after getting over her minor shock at his shameless response.

"An easy mistake to make I'm sure." He told her soothingly. "I _was_ carrying a bloodstained sword at the time after all."

The words caused her to glance at the sword that was leaning against a nearby tree, looking incredibly innocuous for an item that had taken the lives of some of the most dangerous men on the planet.

"How's your friend doing?" He asked suddenly.

"She's...getting better I think. I'm not sure what the Joker did to her, but it left her dependant on him to a large degree. She seems to be pulling herself together though."

"That's good, it's always a shame to see a pretty girl so screwed up."

"Just pretty girls?" She asked dryly.

"Well...I suppose it'd be a shame for anyone to be that screwed up, but you may have picked up on the fact that I've got a bit of a soft spot for cute girls." Naruto admitted.

Ivy let out a small snort at that. From what she could see, he had more than just a bit of a soft spot.

"So Pamela, " She raised an eyebrow at the use of her real name, but made no issue of it."should we talk about what nice weather we're having next, or are you going to get to the point of your visit?"

She took a deep breath and got to the point, as he had suggested. "Your powers."

"You're talking about my Wood Release I'm guessing?"

"If that's what you call your ability with plants." She confirmed.

"Yeees, what about it?" He drawled, smirking at her in amusement.

"How did you get it?" The redhead pressed.

"Stole it from a dead man." He replied blithely.

Blinking in surprise at the odd answer, she continued her questioning. "Who?"

"Senju Hashirama."

Pamela frowned, the name being completely unfamiliar. It sounded Japanese, but that didn't mean anything to her. She'd thought that she knew about every noteworthy botanist or anyone who wielded powers even the slightest bit similar to hers. "I've never heard of him."

"I would have died of shock if you did." He was openly grinning at her now.

"You're not really going to tell me anything are you?" She deadpanned.

"I'm quite sure that you didn't really expect me to." He countered, still grinning.

"How about telling me why you think it's useless to defend nature then?" Pamela said, going for a different angle.

"Ooh, a philosophical discussion! I haven't had one of those in years." Naruto answered with some excitement. "But what gave you the idea that I think it's useless to defend nature?"

"You said that no matter what I do, my impact is going to be minimal." She argued.

"Well of course it's going to be minimal, you're only going to live for a short while after all. No matter how much you manage to achieve, it probably won't take more than two hundred or so years at the most for it all to be wiped away. That's the way it is for mortals."

"Not if I can get rid of all the humans." She muttered darkly.

"I strongly doubt your ability to wipe out six billion humans." Naruto said with dry amusement. "And even if you did, there's plenty of aliens out there who would be more than willing to take over for them."

"Fine then, how would _you_ defend nature?" She asked challengingly.

"If I was in your shoes, I would try to use your unique position as being able to commune with nature as a rallying point for the various environmentalist organizations, get them more credibility. Your illustrious criminal career may have been a quick and easy way to do things, but in the long term it's just made you out to be a psychopath."

"That would never work." She scoffed back. "The world leaders only see nature as a thing to be exploited. Environmentalist groups are being humored at best while they continue to destroy entire forests in their greed."

"I'll give you that, they really are overdoing it with the deforestation and there are no doubt plenty of people that would try to get you to use your powers to grow more forests for them to cut down."

Pamela's face twisted in disgusted horror at the mere thought of it.

"Honestly, there aren't any good answers. Humans are pretty stupid creatures by nature. If everyone had simply focused on protecting what they have instead of trying to take from others, there would have been no need for war, but that's just wishful thinking."

Pamela looked oddly at the horned blond, who had apparently gone on something of a tangent at the end there and now seemed lost in thought.

"So what...you're saying I should just give up hope?" She asked with some heat in her tone.

"Hmm? Oh no, not at all, I'm just saying that I don't have the answer. The only way to really prevent people from doing stupid things is to either lock them all up or wipe them out, but that's not really a solution."

They lapsed into silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Pamela started to feel a bit depressed after the conversation she'd just had. Most of the time she avoided thinking of the enormity of the task she'd set for herself, but it had all been brought up during their talk.

Despite her powers, she was just one person, there was no way that she would be able to keep nature safe all over the world. At best, she would be able to safeguard a single, small area and even then only if the rest of humanity didn't make a concerted effort to destroy it.

"I could take it away you know, if you wanted." Naruto said softly.

"Take what away?" She asked in confusion.

"You powers. I'm pretty sure that I could turn you back into a normal human and you wouldn't carry this burden anymore." He explained, causing her jaw to drop in shock.

He waited patiently while she gathered her wits and pondered whether she hated her condition or not.

"If you can do that...why didn't you already do it? You killed just about everyone else in Arkham, but you didn't want to kill me and Harley because we were women. You could have just taken away my powers instead of letting me go and risking that I would go back to being a villain." She managed to say, her tone still stunned.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her, seeing that she had apparently misunderstood his actions. "I didn't spare you because you're girls. If I felt that you were the type to do evil just for the hell of it, then I would have killed you regardless of that."

"But I've killed people before and so has Harley." She said back, honestly confused.

"I'm not some uptight superhero in a silly outfit." He retorted dryly. "I don't see anything wrong with killing as long as it serves a purpose. I'll grant you that Harley didn't really have a purpose, but it's not her fault that the stupid clown drove her insane and I gambled on her ability to recover."

"You however..." He trailed off and looked at her penetratingly. "Do you have something to protect?"

Frowning in confusion at the seeming non-sequitur, she responded slowly. "You already know I do, I want to stop humans from destroying nature."

Naruto nodded, having expected that answer. "Tell me, what kind of people do you think I've been killing?"

"Criminals obviously." She replied. By now, Everyone had heard of the horned man that remorselessly cut down criminals by the dozens.

"Not all of them were criminals you know." He revealed.

"You've killed the innocent too?" She asked with a deeply confused frown. That would make absolutely no sense based on what she knew about him.

"They might have been innocent in the eyes of the law at the time, but that excuse doesn't work on me." Naruto explained.

"Huh?" She said, even more confused.

"If a man was intending to rape a woman but hasn't actually done it yet, what would the police do?" He asked.

"Nothing, unless they had incontrovertible proof." She answered, her tone slightly bitter, because she knew that you couldn't find any proof for intent to rape.

"All the supposed 'innocents' I've killed have been would-be rapists and the like. I've even made sure to make their deaths extra painful, because rape is the kind of act where there is no such thing as 'extenuating circumstances'." He finished with a grin.

Seeing that grin made Pamela shudder slightly. It was easy to see that he was proud of what he'd done and wouldn't feel guilty about it even if the world burned because of it. Given his peculiar fondness of everything cute and female, it was understandable but it was still a bit disturbing. Not that she minded if he took out the trash, but the easy way that he dismissed the worth of those he killed was an unpleasant reminder of how close she'd been to dying at his hands.

"But what does this have to do with why you didn't take away my powers before?"

Naruto sighed a bit, seeing that she didn't quite get it. "Because you're not a bad person Pamela, even if your methods tend to cause a bit too much collateral damage." He said pointedly, making her shift a bit uncomfortably under his stare. "Your ability to commune with nature is a powerful gift and you could do a lot with it. I wasn't going to lump you together with rabid animals like the Joker. If he had any sense in his head, then tall, dark and pointy eared would have killed that nutcase years ago."

Pamela couldn't help an amused snort at how he referred to Batman, but decided to focus on another thing that he said.

"If you think that my ability is a gift, then why would you offer to take it away?"

"Everything has a price and I offered just in case you didn't want to pay it anymore."

"Well thank you, but I'd like to keep my powers." She told him, feeling a real sense of gratitude that he wasn't trying to force anything on her. She was quite sure that if someone like Batman was in his position that she would already be powerless and locked up on top of it.

After a few moments of silence, another question rose up in her mind. "What price did you pay for your power?"

Naruto's eyebrows rose in amusement at the question, having not expected it at all. "My mortality."

"You're immortal?!" The redhead blurted out in surprise.

"Very." He confirmed, even more amused.

"That doesn't sound like much of a price. Actually it sounds more like you got two great things without having to pay any price at all." She said sceptically.

"Really? Just try to imagine what it would be like to live for a thousand years. Ten Thousand years. A million years. A billion years."

She did so, thinking of all the amazing things that she would be able to see and experience. Having enough time to do everything and learn everything. With that kind of time she would certainly be able to find a way to keep nature safe.

Of course...it also meant that she would continue to linger long after she accomplished everything that she set out to do. Any friends she made would grow old and die. If she ever found a way around her inability to have children, then they too would die. Even if she didn't find a way, she would certainly eventually adopt a child...and they would die.

Thinking even further into the future made her realise that even the nature that she wanted to protect so desperately would wither away while she lingered on and was forced to watch helplessly as it happened. She couldn't help a shudder at the thought, that kind of incomprehensible weight of years would crush her and she knew it.

With that perspective, it was suddenly obvious why he thought her approach to be flawed. In the long run, she would accomplish nothing except frustrate herself by butting heads with 'tall, dark and pointy eared' as Uzu had called him.

"I see your point. But you can still be killed can't you, even if you don't age?" She asked the blond, feeling an uncommon bit of sympathy for him. It was decidedly odd, hoping that someone can be killed because you didn't wish them to suffer an eternity of listless boredom the likes of which she couldn't even imagine.

"Nope." He denied cheerfully. "Even if my body is atomized, I'll just regenerate a new one."

"You seem remarkably cheerful for someone doomed to live forever." She said dryly.

"I've only been immortal for ten years, so you can hardly blame me for not being bummed about it quite yet." He pointed out with a grin.

"How old are you anyway?" She asked curiously.

"Isn't it impolite to ask a lady her age?" He asked back with an amused grin, remembering his conversation with Batman's butler.

"That doesn't seem like a problem in this case." She deadpanned.

Naruto resisted the urge to pout at the fact that she hadn't said that he wasn't a lady and thus denied him the chance to use the same gag again.

"I'm thirty two if you must know."

"I expected you to be older for some reason." Pamela said musingly.

"You haven't seen how immature I act most of the time, so it's understandable." Naruto replied sagely, getting an incredulous look at the blunt admission.

A comfortable silence descended again, making Pamela realize that she felt absurdly comfortable with the horned man. Generally she hated people on sheer principle, but Uzu had been nothing but pleasant to her. He'd gotten her out of prison(however inadvertent it may have been), spared her life because he saw worth in her despite never having met her before, debated her approach towards protecting nature without any derision and even given her the choice of becoming a normal human woman again.

He was an interesting man and she would really like to know what the deal was with his powers, not to mention his horns and other features.

_He's not exactly hard on the eyes either._ She thought musingly as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

"What would you say to the idea of taking over an island together?" She asked out of the blue, making Naruto raise an eyebrow at her again.

"What brought this on?" He asked with an amused grin.

The redhead sighed slightly an explained herself. "You might have a point about not being able to make a huge difference in the long run, but I still want to keep at least some small part of nature untainted and wild. You obviously have more than enough time on your hands, so I was wondering if you'd want to join me."

Harley would get better eventually, but she was definitely a city girl. The isolation wouldn't suit her, so she didn't expect the bubbly blonde to join her. Uzu though...Uzu probably wouldn't mind it and they could create all sorts of marvelous new plants together.

"How scandalous." Naruto teased with his cheek pressed into a palm in a mockery of a shocked expression. "Trying to tempt a married man into moving in with you."

"You're married?!" She blurted out in the same shocked tone as when she'd learned that he was immortal.

"Indeed, you didn't think that I went after immortality for the sake of power did you? I did it so that I could be with my wife forever. I would consider myself a failure as a husband if I caused her grief by being inconveniently mortal while she was immortal."

"So this wife of yours is also immortal? Where is she then?" Pamela asked, only realizing how rude and insulting she sounded after the words had left her mouth.

Naruto paid no heed to the rudeness, he was pretty rude himself after all. Instead he gazed at her contemplatively, debating with himself whether he should tell her what he and Xanna were doing or not.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course I can." She asserted.

"Really? Because if this gets out I'd be pretty upset with you." He warned.

"I won't tell a soul."

"My wife is a Primordial Goddess, which is a very long story that I won't be going into right now." He added the last part when he saw her opening her mouth to question him further on the subject.

"Anyway, she shared with me something that elevated me to something reasonably close to her in power, though my abilities are still maturing, so she still has a considerable edge on me as far as power goes."

Seeing her nodding in understanding, Naruto continued explaining. "We just finished off a ten year honeymoon and left our original dimension and came to this one looking for something fun to do."

"You can-"

"Yes we can dimension travel."

She huffed at his interruption but gestured for him to continue explaining."Anyway, we saw how anal retentive these so called 'superheroes' were about their no killing rule and decided to screw with their heads. Xanna is even now up on their Watchtower, spinning some tall tales about how I'm a ruthless killer that's been hunting her down and that she needs their protection. We're going to lead them on right to the very end just to see the idiotic looks on their faces."

Pamela just stared at him for nearly half a minute as she processed the fact that they were apparently amusing themselves by toying with the Justice League.

"You two are both either really bored, or huge assholes." She stated flatly.

"Yeah...those two things aren't really mutually exclusive. For myself at least, I've gotta say that I'm a bored asshole." Naruto admitted.

She couldn't help chuckling at that, finding his blunt honesty about what kind of person he was to be strangely pleasant.

Another thought came up soon after that. "Since you're apparently happily married, then why are you propositioning every woman you come across?"

"Well, before we were married, Xanna insisted that I sleep with other women and I did so even though I didn't understand why. To be honest, I'm still a bit confused about it, but she honestly doesn't care if I sleep with other women, especially now since my soul is permanently bound to her."

Pamela looked as if she wanted to ask more about that, but Naruto cut her off again. "It became bound when she made me immortal. Either way, it's not like any woman aside from her could satisfy me, so I keep propositioning women for laughs mostly."

"Are you saying that you don't believe me capable of satisfying you even though you propositioned me?" She asked in a slightly demanding tone, feeling oddly insulted by that.

Naruto couldn't help grinning at her. "Damn right you couldn't, you have no idea what kind of endurance it takes to satisfy me."

"I think you'd find that I have plenty of endurance." She shot back.

"Is that so? I don't know how it is in this dimension, but that sounds like a challenge to me and you shouldn't make challenges unless you're willing to have them met."

By this point both of them were standing, Naruto grinning down at the much shorter woman while she stared heatedly back at him.

Pamela knew that she could still back down from this and he wouldn't hold it against her. On the other hand, he was a man that she found herself liking and he was immune to her poisons. It had been years since she'd had any kind of intimate contact with another person and she was terribly reluctant to waste the opportunity even if it was going to be nothing more than a one night stand.

She bit her lip, feeling oddly shy all of a sudden. This would be the first time in years that she would actually be making a move on someone without intending to kill them.

Naruto kept still as the small redhead exploratorily slid her hands across his abdomen and chest, reminding himself that she was far more fragile than what he was used to. Xanna would be fine no matter how forceful he was, but he could easily kill Pamela by accident if he wasn't careful.

Encouraged by the small twitches on the planes of hard muscle, she stepped closer and pressed herself against him, sliding her arms under the white haori. Given the height difference between them, her mouth ended up being somewhere at his chest level , which she decided to make use of by running her tongue over his nipple, which drew an approving rumble from his throat.

He rolled his shoulders to shake off the haori when she tugged at it, not wanting to distract her by simply allowing it to dissipate out of existence. He put his own arms on her back and gently ran a claw over the leafy green outfit she was wearing, cutting it and getting a slight gasp out of her when his chest was suddenly the only thing keeping it up.

She turned her head when she heard movement behind her, seeing that the chairs they'd been sitting on earlier had reformed themselves into a wide bed. She didn't resist when he picked her up and carried her over to it, feeling the large bulge in his pants pressing into her.

She turned away from him once he set her down on the soft but surprisingly firm mossy covering, slipping the remains of her dress off and then her gloves, including the small crossbow she kept on her right one. It was a good thing that her dress was grown rather than sown, or she might have been upset at him for cutting it.

He pressed himself against her before she could turn around, keeping her facing away as his fingers moved to caress her breasts and gently scraped his teeth over her ear. Her breathing deepened under his ministrations and she quickly found herself getting wet.

Her eyes widened slightly when he took a deep whiff and the approving rumble he'd been letting out periodically intensified, making her realise that he must be able to smell her arousal. His right hand slid slowly between her legs and gently rubbed her moist opening, drawing at gasp out of her at his skilled manipulation of her erogenous zones.

A noise of protest escaped her when he removed his hand after merely a few seconds and brought it to his mouth to lick it.

"Mmm, poisonous." He rumbled into her ear and pushed her forward so that she was on all fours.

"What are you doing?" She asked breathily when he pulled back to lay a large hand on her right butt cheek. Given the bulge that she'd felt throbbing against her the entire time so far, she'd expected him to take his pants off and enter her, but instead he'd pulled away.

She had only a moment to think that he'd been turned off by the fact that all of her fluids were toxic before she felt his breath between her legs and realised what he was intending to do.

"Wait, not like this." She said quickly and turned over so that she was laying on her back. "Like this." She finished invitingly, spreading her legs for him.

"You want to grab my horns don't you?" He asked with a knowing smirk.

She didn't reply, but the way that she looked away with her face turning red was a much more descriptive answer.

Still smirking, Naruto decided to surprise her and extended his tongue abnormally far out of his mouth.

Her eyes widened in shock at the act "What the he-ungh!" Her surprised exclamation was cut off when the prehensile appendage slithered inside her and started wrecking havoc on her erogenous nerve clusters.

Her hands instantly shot to his horns and used them as handholds to steady herself while her body shuddered under the assault. She was only distantly aware of the fact that several vines wrapped themselves around her legs to keep them from instinctively slamming together.

Not long after that, another two vines grabbed her hands, tore them away from his horns and bound them above her head. She wasn't even able to protest her suddenly bound position, too busy as she was gasping for air.

With a silent scream she sprayed her release into his mouth, greedily gulping down air while her body continued shuddering as he gave her a final few licks to gather up the last of her release.

She was still trying to get her breath back when she felt something being rubbed against her almost painfully sensitive slit.

"That's...never going to...fit in me." She gasped out when she saw the size of the male member being steadily lubricated by her previous release. She was not a big woman by any stretch of the imagination and she didn't think she could accommodate something of that size.

Seeing her sweating face and slightly afraid expression, he decided to tease her a bit. "I thought you said you could handle me? We're barely even done with foreplay and you look ready to pass out on me."

That brought a bit of a glare to her face and she tried to get out of the vines, only to discover that they wouldn't respond to her, making her realise that the only reason she'd been able to use her powers earlier had been because he had allowed it.

Before she could say anything, he laid himself gently over her and rumbled into her ear soothingly. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

Not feeling hugely reassured since she could now feel the tip pressing into her, she nevertheless nodded, believing that he would at the very least enter her slowly and listen if she told him to stop.

His occasional rumbling deepened into a growl as he slowly pushed into her tight passage, having to struggle against his impulse to simply drive himself into her all the way. The way that she was groaning at his intrusion and straining against the vines holding her wasn't helping his self control any.

Pamela was relieved to see that it wasn't as bad as she'd feared as his tongue had already stretched her a bit, not to mention made certain that she was as lubricated as she could get, but that wasn't to say that it was easy. He had to move excruciatingly slowly to make sure that she got used to his girth before he could move any deeper.

Several very frustrating minutes later for Naruto, when he was about two thirds of the way inside her, she spoke up again, her voice a bit hoarse from the near constant groaning she'd been doing. "That's my limit, I can't take you any deeper."

He frowned and pushed just the slightest bit deeper, feeling an obstruction and deciding to listen. "Alright." He'd never encountered this particular issue with Xanna, but then again, his wife could manipulate her own body as she pleased. He _did _ however remember hurting one of the smaller women he'd slept with in his earlier years when he'd pushed too deep.

Pamela released a tiny sigh of relief and relaxed, having tensed when she'd felt him poking at her cervix. In her current position there was literally nothing that she could have done to stop him if he suddenly decided to be an idiot male and think 'but I'm almost there!'.

He pulled out slowly and pushed back inside even slower, making her moan at the pleasant sensation of being so full and very grateful when he stopped a couple of inches away from her cervix to prevent any accidents.

It didn't take more than a few minutes of the slow, rhythmic motion to bring her to another orgasm, making her buck her hips upwards at him. Her eyes rolled up and she let out a continuous moan when she felt him discharging into her, the forceful spurting as it coated her inner walls enhancing the sensation considerably.

Even when she came down from her high, she could still feel him releasing the last few spurts, leaving her feeling bloated, but pleasantly so.

"So...are you...satisfied?" She asked with a tired smirk, looking up at him through the curtain of bright gold hair.

"Not even close." He responded with an amused grin. "We'd need to keep going like this for at _least_ a full day without breaks before that could happen."

"You can't...be serious!" She gasped out incredulously as he pulled out of her. She was just about ready to pass out and he wasn't even slightly tired?

"Well I _am_ a god." He said smugly and scooped her up off the bed.

"If you'd made that claim an hour ago, I would have scoffed." She said wryly. "And where are you taking me?"

"I'ts been over thirteen years since I last had sex with a mortal woman, but if I remember correctly, you're going to be sore." He replied without really answering her question and brought her to a small clearing.

Before her wide eyes, the earth parted to make a hole and then the walls solidified into smooth stone before becoming overgrown with the same soft moss as the trees before. As a final touch a bench formed and then water began condensing inside it, rapidly filling up the new depression in the ground.

"I see you're capable of a lot more than just this Wood Release you've mentioned." She murmured, still staring in shock at the rather comfortable looking natural bathtub.

"I'd feel pretty stupid calling myself a god if I was a one trick pony." Naruto admitted with a grin and stuck a foot inside the cool water, raising the temperature until it started steaming.

Pamela groaned when he lowered her into the water, which was pleasantly hot, but not so hot that it would scald her.

"How's the water?" He asked, amused at her blissed out expression as she leaned against the edge.

"Perfect."

"Hang on a second, let me try something new..." He said, frowning in concentration.

The redhead was just about to ask him what he was doing when she felt the water somehow thicken around her and start massaging her all by itself, without any apparent reason for it.

She groaned at the full body massage. "Damnit Uzu, if you keep pampering me like this I'm not going to want to let you leave."

"Naruto."

"What?" She looked over at him in confusion.

"My name, it's Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto. Uzu is just something I made up to make it easier to screw with the underwear brigade."

She snorted out a laugh at his name for the Justice League before focusing on the main point of his sentence. "Naruto it is."

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes, Pamela just enjoying the full body massage and hot water while Naruto distracted himself by keeping the water temperature constant and separating out the semen leaking from the redhead.

When she felt herself getting drowsy, she shook her head to clear it and turned to address the horned man again. "Could you get me back to Harley Naruto? She was sleeping when I left, but I don't want to leave her alone for too long right now."

"No problem, but I don't know where she is."

"Shouldn't you know everything, being a god and all?" She said with friendly mockery.

"I am _a_ god, not _the_ God." He retorted with a smirk.

Ten minutes later, they were both dressed and Naruto had at least a general idea of where he needed to teleport in order to get Pamela into an area close to her friend.

"One more thing before you go." Naruto spoke up, drawing her confused attention. "Have a souvenir."

Pamela stared incredulously at the item he'd just handed to her. It was a T-shirt, with '_I slept with a horny god._' proudly written over the chest in large font.

"It is my understanding, that it is customary in this dimension to get captioned T-shirts when you've done something noteworthy." He explained with a wide grin.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have an incredibly odd and irritating sense of humor?" She asked calmly and accepted the T-shirt.

"Yeah, I get that a lot." Naruto admitted freely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well that wasn't such a bad way to spend the day, now I only have two more to go before picking a fight with the merry men in tights and women in leotards." He said to himself musingly after getting back from dropping off Pamela.

_So, how was the plant woman?_ Xanna's voice rang in his head, sounding as if she was smirking.

_Just as disappointing as you said mortals would be, she didn't even last an hour._ Naruto answered with a brutally honest assessment.

_Of course she didn't, she simply isn't capable of performing on the same physical level as we are._

_Wait a minute...does that mean that I was disappointing to you before I became a god?_ Naruto asked suspiciously.

_Yes._ She replied bluntly, making Naruto clutch at his heart in an over dramatic fashion. _You have no idea of the years of disappointment I suffered before you were satisfactory._

_My fragile ego...torn to shreds._ He said to her in a pained tone, kneeling on the ground with his head pressed into the dirt, but he was grinning at the melodious laughter that answered his theatrics.

_To be perfectly honest, you were a great deal better after returning from your training trip, but you've only been truly impressive these last ten years._ She soothed, still sounding amused.

_Oh my, my beloved wife is such a demanding beast in the bedroom._ He teased back with a mournful tone.

_I'm demanding in every other room too, as well as outside._ She retorted haughtily, making him snort in amusement.

_So... how are things up there._ He asked, changing the subject.

_Naruto, I am not going to entertain you with conversation for the next two days._ She told him flatly.

He sighed at how easily she saw through his attempts at relieving his boredom.

_If you're so terribly bored, why don't you try reading a book? This world has a lot more literature than the Elemental Nations did, or if that doesn't work, try the music. There seems to be a truly absurd number of music performers here, so I'm sure you'll find something that is to your liking._ She suggested with some exasperation.

Naruto perked up at that._ I didn't even think of that. Thanks!_

_Of course you didn't husband._ She mocked with a patronizing tone and closed their mind link.

Naruto frowned, feeling as if his intelligence had just been insulted, but he shrugged it off as unimportant.

He wasn't much of a reader, so there was music to sample!

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**There, chapter two.**

**I may have been mistaken when I said there would only be two chapters :P, but I'm almost positive there won't be more than four. Actually, I'm not going to say anything anymore...it'll have as many chapters as it will have.**

**I can't think of anything in particular more to say except "Review please", so I hope you enjoyed xD.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Review responses:**

**Heika: I admit that I got that translation from the Yu-Yu-Hakusho wiki, so I will defer to your obvious expertise in the area. Still, in the interest of not making things too confusing I'm leaving it as it is, but thank you for the enlightening lecture on the subject :P.**

**I think I answered any other non-plot related reviews through PM's.**

**One other thing. Several people have been mentioning the possibility of a Marvel Universe crossover, but i'm afraid that's pretty unlikely. My grasp on that universe is even more shaky than DC, so unless I manage to figure it out a bit, I'm staying well away from it.**

**Big thanks to everyone who reviewed and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto realised one important fact about his sudden desire to learn about the music of this world.

Music stores weren't open at night and it was night.

Actually, was there even such a thing as a music store? He knew that the people in this dimension had figured out how to record music on objects, but according to Xanna, the idiot whose soul she'd ripped out listened to music mostly through something called 'U-tube'.

What the hell was a U-tube and how does one get on it?

That was the problem with just taking the knowledge from someone's head, if you didn't have context then you wouldn't know what the hell it was about. And rather inconveniently, neither one of them had any interest in anything except language at the time, which meant everything else had received only cursory inspection, if it received any at all.

Naruto had a sinking suspicion that Xanna wouldn't have used the Human Path again to make this easier even if she hadn't been on the Watchtower...no doubt she'd find his fumbling around the subject amusing.

Either way, he couldn't even fumble around it during the night, which meant waiting for the morning and that was quite a ways off.

He didn't actually need to sleep anymore, though he usually did so just because he enjoyed it, but he couldn't do that right now either. Having sex with Pamela had done nothing to calm him down, quite the contrary actually.

He was horny as hell, his godlike body used to treating a single orgasm as the start of foreplay rather than anything else. Unfortunately, he wasn't really in the mood to go screwing 15 or so random women(either seduced or paid for) that he'd never met before in order to scratch that particular itch and Xanna was obviously unavailable.

What he wouldn't do to be able to teleport to her, bend her over and pound her until he was satisfied.

Sighing at his predicament, he took flight and headed for Gotham. Maybe something interesting would be happening that would distract him? He could always go to some other city if it wasn't, it would be time to move on soon anyway.

Technically, he should have been messing around with Superman in Metropolis already anyway, but Batman had just been so grimly serious all the time that he just had to mess with the man more than he'd planned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Selina Kyle, more widely known as Catwoman, was perching on the roof of a museum in Gotham and staring avariciously through the skylight at the large cat's eye emerald sitting on a pillow.

She wanted it. Bad.

Bad enough that she'd come back to Gotham despite the horned lunatic cutting people up with a sword all over the place. Mind you, she was _reasonably_ sure that he wouldn't kill her since he had apparently let Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn go, but there was enough uncertainty for her to not want to risk it.

At least, she hadn't wanted to risk it until that damnably beautiful jewel had been put on display in the Gotham museum.

Sh'ed already scoped the place out during the day and now it was time to steal it.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto stared with wry amusement at the shapely, leather clad ass of Catwoman.

Honestly, what were the odds of running into this particular female exactly when he needed to take his mind away from sex? There was an unreal amount of pussy jokes coming to mind right now.

Despite not really looking for a hot woman in a tight leather outfit, he already knew that he was going to interrupt what was obviously a theft. Not that he gave a damn if she stole stuff from a museum, as far as he was concerned it was full of useless junk and she was welcome to rob it blind if she so wished.

He'd been hoping to run into her for a while, but she'd apparently been keeping a low profile, so this was not a chance to be wasted, even if it was only making him even more horny.

The question was, how should he do it?

Should he go for a casual approach, just stroll up to her with a nonchalant 'What's up pussycat'?

Or should he got the path of the pervert and do something more extreme?

In the eternal battle between cool laziness and absolute perversion, there can be only one victor.

Naruto rolled his eyes at himself. He must be more bored than he thought if he was making his own thoughts sound that dramatic.

Either way, in his current turned on condition, the choice was obvious. Though to be fair, it would have been obvious even if he hadn't been turned on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Catwoman was almost ready to start her plan of stealing the emerald when she was grabbed from behind.

Reacting instantly like the trained martial artist that she was, she tried to break the attacker's balance and get free, only to receive the unpleasant knowledge that whoever had grabbed her was both monstrously strong and knew what he was doing.

A large hand was placed over her mouth before she could let out a word and an unfamiliar deep voice growled into her ear.

"Calm down little kitty, I've got a milkshake for you." This was timed by what was obviously a bulging erection being rubbed against her rear end suggestively.

Naturally she started struggling even more desperately, but failed to achieve anything with it as chains suddenly bound her arms.

The hand that had previously been holding them started gliding over her stomach and towards her crotch, while the voice once more growled into her ear. "Looks like the pussycat needs a good stroking."

At this point, Catwoman was trying to force down the helpless terror she was feeling at being so easily subdued and the clear implication of what was being planned for her, making her scream into the hand over her mouth.

The hold on her suddenly relaxed and the same voice spoke to her ear again, this time sounding absurdly contrite considering the past thirty seconds. "Oi, calm down, I'm not going to hurt you. It was just supposed to be a joke, but I went a bit overboard."

A good ten seconds passed until she managed to process the words through her frazzled mind and she relaxed ever so slightly, at which point she was released.

Jumping away from her attacker she saw that it was the very horned man that she'd been hoping not to run into, standing there rather sheepishly with a chagrined look on his face.

Naruto observed the skittish woman taking deep, calming breaths and staring at him warily. _Note to self: exercise more restraint when making this kind of joke in the future._

"Sorry about that, my perverted sense of humor got away from me."

She stared at him for a few moments, still taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart before she reacted to his words, her eyes going hard and angry.

He saw it coming a mile away. How could he not when he could move much faster than that? Still, the only thing he did was to suppress his chakra as much as he could, deliberately weakening himself to the greatest possible extent.

The powerful roundhouse kick smashed into his jaw and sent a spray of blood flying out of his mouth.

He spat out another glob of blood on the roof and turned to address the cat themed thief. "I totally deserved that."

She kicked him again, this time from the other side, making him also repeat the blood spitting process on the other side before once more turning to her calmly. "I probably deserved that too."

She tried to kick him in the balls next, which was where he drew the line and blocked her. "Sorry, but that's one hit I'm not willing to take even if I do deserve it." He said with a grin.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you?" She hissed furiously, feeling a lot more secure now that she'd seen him bleed. "What kind of idiot grabs a woman like that in the middle of the night and jokes about raping her?"

"Apparently the blond, horned type of idiot." He deadpanned back at her, wiping his bloody mouth. He'd allowed the chakra back into circulation in his body by now and the damage had regenerated already, but he wasn't going to tell her that. It probably wouldn't help make her feel safer to know that he couldn't really be injured to any appreciable degree.

She growled angrily and continued to glare at him, still keeping a wary defensive posture.

"In my defense, I was seriously horny due to...extenuating circumstances and you were wiggling your extremely sexy ass in my general direction."

The heat in her glare didn't diminish in the slightest.

"I know we got off on a seriously wrong foot here, so how about you let me make it up to you?" Naruto offered.

"And how exactly do you think you can make it up to me?" She demanded.

"Well...how about I help you steal whatever you were about to steal?" He suggested brightly.

She blinked in surprise at the offer, having most definitely not expected that. "_You_, the guy that's been killing criminals like crazy for weeks, are going to help _me_, a criminal, steal something?" She asked in disbelief.

"Sure, it's not like any of the crap in there is actually important." He shrugged uncaringly. "If you want, I'll clean out the entire museum for you, including the benches."

"The 'crap' you're talking about are priceless pieces of art worth hundreds of millions of dollars in total." She said dryly.

"One man's priceless art is another man's crap from a yard sale." He countered sagely, grinning again.

Catwoman sighed, her lips twitching with amusement. His logic was both ridiculous and unassailable. Clealry, she had been worried about him for no reason. He seemed to not give a damn about thieves at all.

"Very well then, if you can get me the cat's eye emerald I'll consider forgiving you." She told him, pointing at the large green emerald through the skylight.

"That ugly green paperweight?" He asked, staring at the object lying on an ostentatious purple pillow. If Naruto was honest with himself, he thought that the pillow was more interesting than the rock.

Selina closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing herself not to react to that sentence. "Yes, that extremely beautiful green jewel." Well, she _mostly_ didn't react.

"Personally I think your ass is a lot more beautiful than this thing, but here you go." She heard him say and opened her eyes, goggling in shock at the gem sitting in his extended palm.

"How..._how did you get it that fast?!_" She whisper screamed, having confirmed that it was the real deal and even more strangely, there was set of anal beads and a tube of lubricant sitting on the pillow where the gem used to be. That was probably going to upset and offend some people in the morning.

"A super secret technique." Naruto said mysteriously.

Substitution technique, E-rank, supplementary, most basic space-time technique available. So basic in fact, that most people didn't even realise it _was_ a space-time technique.

Or in this case, the B-rank variant only available to highly skilled users of space-time techniques that allowed for the switching of two objects instead of the user and an object.

Though it was debatable whether his casual violation of the space-time continuum really counted as a technique at this point.

Catwoman deflated like a balloon. "Now that's just taking all the fun out of it." She'd thought that she would get to watch him screw up and trip every alarm in the museum. She didn't really expect the police to catch him, but it would have still been funny to mock him about it...at least now that she wasn't scared of him anymore.

"Why do you want this silly rock anyway?" He asked and tossed it to her negligently.

"I've got a thing for cat themed jewels." She admitted as she pocketed the emerald.

Naruto raised an amused eyebrow and suddenly developed a devious idea.

"What are you doing?" She asked warily when she saw him shake out his arms and then place them in front of himself, after which one lit up with blue fire and the other with red.

"Creation of All Things." Naruto intoned in english for her benefit and a fist sized kitten made of pure diamond appeared in his hands.

You didn't actually need the Rinnegan for that particular technique, as long as you were good enough with Yin-Yang Release and diamonds were ironically enough one of the simpler things to make with it, due to the fact that they were made up of exactly one element.

"How?" She whispered in shock and reached to touch the unbearably cute and incredibly beautiful diamond kitten to make sure it was real. Not to mention that it had to be the largest diamond in the world at this point.

"I'm a god, creating crap out of thin air is no big deal for me." He said pompously, grinning at the look she was giving him.

"Alright, I forgive you." She said and eagerly reached for the kitten, only for him to move it out of reach.

"Nuh uh uh, if you want this kitten, you'll have to do something for me." He teased.

"Forget it." She said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest.

The only reason she even wanted it was because it was a cute diamond kitten. If it hadn't been for that, she wouldn't have had too much interest in a jewel that she didn't have to steal. There was no fun or challenge in that.

Naruto blinked at her, surprised at her instant response. "That was fast, you didn't even hear what I want yet."

"I'm not going to have sex with you for it, I'm not a whore."

"You dirty pervert, that wasn't what I was going to ask for." He teased with a mocking grin.

"Oh." She said, feeling embarrassed. "What were you going to ask for then? And I'm not a pervert."

"Well firstly, let me just point out that you're wearing a leather catsuit and if that isn't kinky then I don't know what is. Secondly, if you happen to have any S&M urges, I'm perfectly willing to participate in any role...I can even provide the chains and you can bring the whips."

The grin kept spreading wider over his face the redder her face got, but he kept on talking. "Thirdly, I was going to ask you to help me find out what kind of music I like."

She was once more left staring at him in shock and spoke disbelievingly. "Why the hell would you need my help for that?"

"I'm not from this world and I've got no idea where to start. The only thing I really know is that you can find music on some thing called 'U-tube'...which sounds like some kind of lesbian sex toy now that I think about it."

She rolled her eyes at him, figuring that this must be normal for him. She was starting to wonder why she'd ever been afraid of him if he was this harmless.

"It's 'Youtube', not 'U-tube'. 'You' as opposed to 'I', not 'U' the letter."

"Well that doesn't make any more sense to be honest, it just makes it sound like you're talking about some guy's dick." Naruto interjected.

"How do you even function as a person if everything is one giant perversion to you?" She asked dryly.

"Pretty well for the most part, except for the times when I accidentally scare women into thinking that I'm going to rape them." He replied cheekily.

"_Anyway_, Youtube is a website where you can find just about anything, music included." She explained, forcefully redirecting the conversation back on topic.

"Website?" He said more than asked, frowning in thought. "I think I've heard or read that somewhere, but I'm guessing it has nothing to do with spiderwebs."

Catwoman facepalmed at his cluelessness. Even if the horns and other stuff hadn't been a clue, she would have definitely figured him to be an alien at this point. "No, a website is a place on the internet."

"And the internet has nothing at all to do with actual nets right?" He asked dryly.

"You seem to be getting the idea."

"Well then oh mistress, teach me of the interwebs and I'll surrender my pussy to you." He said to her with a grin and held out the diamond kitten for her to take.

"I can't _believe_ I'm saying this, but come with me to my apartment." She muttered, garnering a snicker from the blond.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So your world has men but it is ruled by women?" Diana asked curiously.

"Generally yes, though men do have a say in things as well." Xanna answered.

It was even true, Naruto had a say in everything. An equal say even, it was just that he wouldn't care to object if she insisted on something.

They were currently in Diana's room aboard the Watchtower, having the conversation that she had been interested in ever since Xanna had explained why she was there. Xanna was sitting on a chair, while Diana was on the bed, dressed in just a bathrobe due to having only recently come out of a shower. She wasn't used to the idea of sleepwear or modesty around other women, not to mention the fact that it would slow her down if she had to put on her armor in a hurry.

The amazon princess was relieved to see that the horned woman was much more pleasant now that it was just the two of them. She'd learned from their discussion that she had very little contact with men aside from her family, from which she'd deduced that Xanna must have been uncomfortable being around so many males.

Xanna had been telling the truth even, the only man she had any real, prolonged contact with in the past fifty or so years had been Naruto and he was family now. She just hadn't bothered to mention that she hadn't had any contact with women either, having been basically sleeping in isolation for some time prior to her sealing.

The horned goddess suppressed a sigh as she asked something about the amazon island of Themyscira that she was only peripherally interested in. Despite her teasing of Naruto earlier for being bored, she was in much the same position. She'd gotten so used to having her husband around that it was unpleasant to be separated from him like this.

This Watchtower was remarkably boring after you got over the fact that it was hanging in orbit around the planet. The speedy idiot calling himself Flash had offered her an odd drink called an iced mocha and it had been amusing to see his chagrined face when she'd bitched him out because she found herself disliking the taste of caffeine, but that had been the only real bit of amusement since coming here.

She shifted her thighs a bit uncomfortably, all too well aware of the slight wetness between them. Naruto's earlier arousal had bled through their metal connection and her body reacted instinctively to it, preparing for an extended love making session. She _could_ have forcibly shut that down, but it wouldn't help lower her arousal...she just wouldn't be wet.

She was tempted to just blow off this entire prank, teleport over to him and ride him until she was satisfied, but they'd both agreed on a set of rules for this and one of them was that they wouldn't blow it off unless it was for a very good reason. She just hadn't expected it to be this difficult and she imagined that her husband was experiencing the same problem.

A distraction was needed.

As she listened to the dark haired amazon talk about her home, her mother and her sister amazons, an idea worthy of Naruto's brand of humor began forming in her mind.

It was an idea that she never would have had before falling in love with him. She hadn't been a very humorous type of person before that, being much too proud to engage in the type of amusements that Naruto favored. She'd generally gotten her fun by mocking or infuriating the various humans around her and watching them fume.

Being around someone like Naruto though, someone who had a very flexible idea of personal pride and placed little to no value in dignity, someone who had no problem making a fool of himself for the sake of having fun...it had mellowed her out quite a bit.

Which was the reason that the idea she was considering was gaining traction and she already knew that she was going to do it.

Gazing speculatively at Diana while she spoke, she analyzed the woman that had just been reclassified as prey without knowing it.

The amazon was a princess of a warrior people and therefore an accomplished warrior herself, but she was also rather sheltered, having lived her entire life on her isolated little island. The lack of men on that island had led to a very specific type of community and their immortality meant that the society moved glacially slowly and no doubt placed a lot of emphasis on being dignified and respectful.

The long lives and lack of opposite gender meant that there was a distinct lack of sexual overtones in amazonian society, as noted from the pranks that she had gotten caught in. Naruto may not have seen it, but she had, having been observing it with the Byakugan and being much amused by their reactions.

Wonder Woman was a serious prude through no fault of her own.

There was potential there, a lot of it. Normally she would let Naruto pull his pranks while she enjoyed the outcomes, but since he wasn't here, she would need to amuse herself.

It would once more need some pretty decent acting to make it believable though. Fortunately she'd gotten a lot of practice doing that lately.

"Diana, I have a request to make of you and I hope that you will not hold it against me if you decline." She said as she rose from her chair, forcing a blush onto her cheeks. Her voice also held just the slightest of unease.

"Of course I will not hold it against you, please make your request." Diana responded, puzzled by the reluctance exhibited by the horned woman, who was usually so confident in her speech.

Xanna didn't reply immediately, but sat next to the amazon on the bed and placed her hands on her shoulders.

"Back at home, it was common for unmarried women to engage in certain..._activities_ with each other and I miss it terribly. I imagine that it is the same for you, being separated from your sister amazons and being unable to find any relief among these strange people and their strange customs." She purred into Diana's ear, suppressing a grin when she felt a tremor going through the other woman at her clear insinuation.

Any second now, she expected that the amazon would bolt, her face on fire from embarrassment at the perceived misunderstanding. That would no doubt be followed by an extremely awkward conversation(for Diana anyway), followed by continued awkwardness as she brushed up against her at every opportunity and aimed mournful longing looks at the dark haired woman every time she saw her.

"You have _no_ idea how glad I am to hear you say that." Diana said with obvious relief in her voice, closed her eyes and kissed the horned woman.

Which was fortunate, as the shocked look on Xanna's face would be highly suspicious considering the fact that she had been the one to initiate this situation.

Apparently she'd been mistaken about the theoretical prudishness of the amazons. They were just very private about what they did with each other, there hadn't been the slightest hint of this during their conversation.

Xanna's mind raced with blistering speed as she tried to adapt to the new situation. She hadn't had a plan backfire on her this spectacularly in well over a thousand years.

Well except for that one time when a certain idiot human had been insane enough to summon the death god to seal her into his own son, but that had turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to her, so it didn't count.

She could already hear Naruto laughing himself stupid when she told him about this.

Mastering her shock, she returned the kiss to keep from screwing the whole plan up and considered her options.

She couldn't make excuses and back out, because she had been the one to suggest this in the first place. It would be too suspicious.

She couldn't use mind altering Genjutsu, as that was one of the things that she and Naruto had agreed to put a ban on. There would be no point in trying to have fun if you were just going to mind control your way out of everything. Even the minor trust inspiring Genjutsu when she'd asked for their 'help' had been pushing it.

A new idea began taking shape as the kiss continued for a few seconds longer.

Naruto would have been crushed if she slept with another man, but he wouldn't mind if it was with a woman. He'd be more upset that he hadn't been there.

It was incredibly hypocritical of him and he knew it, but Xanna didn't mind as long as he was honest about it instead of making excuses. Excuses were the refuge of the weak. She hadn't been lying when she said that mortals were disappointing, the men even more so than the women. She'd only slept with a handful of them before meeting Naruto and they had been just as disappointing as any other...no stamina worth mentioning whatsoever.

The women had at least somewhat known what they were doing, but the same stamina problem applied, leaving her disappointed and horny by the time they couldn't keep going anymore. It had actually been centuries since she'd last bothered with sex before taking Naruto's virginity.

She started returning the kiss with more eagerness as she switched mental gears and reworked her original plan to make the amazon incredibly uncomfortable around her. She would have to take a very different approach, but it could still be done and it would keep the greater plan that she and Naruto were running intact. It would quite possibly improve it even...it would certainly be more hilarious than her initial idea of flustering the woman with her advances. Diana would probably feel a bit betrayed when everything was revealed, but Xanna wasn't too worried about that, as she wasn't the type to have a whole lot of empathy for anyone other than herself or Naruto.

The amazon was a very beautiful woman, which was a plus even if Xanna wasn't overmuch attracted to her and since she had a lot more endurance than a regular human, she might actually be capable of taking the edge off her arousal. The chance was remote in the extreme, but it could happen.

All of this was considered in the few seconds that it took for Diana to break the kiss and look back into Xanna's eyes, which now showed eagerness instead of the shock she felt at accidentally guessing at Themyscira's dirty little secret.

Xanna figured that Themyscira wasn't an island full of lesbians or even bisexuals, it was just an island full of immortal women that had only other women as company. Quite a few of them probably _had_ become lesbians from sheer lack of choice, but most of them were simply sexually frustrated women with a limited choice in partners. Given the chance, many would likely find men that they were attracted to, but that chance didn't exist on their isolated little island.

Of course, this was all guesswork. For all she knew the majority of them were entirely asexual, with Diana being part of a minority that hid their activities, but it was mightily doubtful. More likely, having sex with other women was commonplace, but not spoken of in public.

It wasn't very surprising for such a thing to happen really, even an island full of men in the same situation would have likely turned out the same eventually, despite the fact that men in general seemed a lot more resistant to the idea of having intercourse with their own gender than women.

"At first I thought that Shayera might be interested, but she is a soldier and her society is too much like Man's World. She has no concept of finding relief in the arms of a fellow woman."

"Well, it is her loss. Come, let us _share our cultures_." The horned goddess purred suggestively, her hand sliding gently across the amazons back and neck.

"And let Aphrodite enhance our pleasures." Diana added, catching on to the unsubtle innuendo and leaning in for another kiss.

Ah yes, _them_. Xanna could feel the blessings placed on Diana's armor and weapons by the godlings that protected her island. She could also feel the impotent anger being directed at her for the game that she was playing with their favorite.

_Do calm yourself little godlings, at the worst she will come out of this with some humiliation and a lesson in being too trusting...and perhaps a few screaming orgasms._ The psychic message startled them, as they had apparently thought themselves undetected. How very amusing.

Their return messages went unheard as the temporary mind link was cut off. She had no interest in speaking to them. They were far lesser in strength than her and Naruto, though her husband would probably be unaware of them in his still immature godhood. The problem was that they were aware of their own inferiority and they were rather skittish about it, unused as they were to being outclassed. This made them terribly boring.

The Shinju had been a power of old, the raw power of creation that should never have gained sentience, but had done so through the idiotic meddling of overly curious gods and power hungry mortals. With the limited, bestial intellect of the Ten Tails destroyed and replaced by her own true sentience, there was no real limit to what she could do aside from the scale of her own perception. She may not be omniscient or omnipresent the way that many humans in this world imagined their non-existent Creator God to be, but she _was_ virtually omnipotent and thus far more powerful than the Olympians that Diana so revered. She did still need to practice some things in order to master them, but destroying stuff was easy, which seemed to be the biggest measuring stick for power among gods anyway.

It was easy to paint a canvas entirely black, but something else entirely to create a masterpiece.

Completely ignorant of the fact that her gods were being mocked, Diana cast off the bathrobe, leaving her naked as she moved her mouth down Xanna's neck and pushed aside the horned woman's clothing.

Clawed fingers carefully slid over the amazon's breasts and nipples while her lips moved even further down to grasp a revealed nipple and gently sucked on it even as her tongue slid across it.

Xanna made noises of encouragement as she pulled off her clothes and threw them on the ground, wordlessly telling the amazon that she was doing something right. The dark head lowered further when she placed her hand on top of it and gently pushed down to make it clear what she wanted.

Diana paused just before her mouth reached the horned woman's nether regions, seeing that the slit was just as hairless as she kept her own and already glistening with arousal. She wondered what this alien woman would taste like in comparison to her sisters.

Xanna developed a slight smile as Diana put her mouth to work on her crotch, making an appreciative sound at the way she tasted. She was a goddess, she was damn sure going to taste better than anyone else.

Not more than half a minute later, a small frown had replaced the smile. She had to give the dark haired woman points for enthusiasm, but this was seriously substandard. Though obviously no stranger to the act, Diana wasn't very experienced either. Either that, or Naruto had spoiled her. Most likely both, Diana certainly couldn't compare to the acrobatics that Naruto was capable of with his tongue.

Seeking to correct the situation was much as possible, she gripped the dark head of hair moving between her legs and tangled her fingers in it, retracting her claws as she did so. She didn't want to accidentally lobotomize the amazon, or scalp her for that matter.

"Harder." She commanded and pushed her hips upwards.

Diana tried to raise her head to ask a question, but had her head pushed firmly back down.

"You're too gentle, push harder with your tongue." Xanna elaborated impatiently.

Diana did so and was pleased at the approving growl she received for it.

"Good, good. Now scrape your teeth across the nub above my entrance."

"Stick two fingers inside me and hook them...yeees that's it, now rub that slightly coarser part in time with your licks."

"Yes, keep going like that...now clamp your lips around that nub and _squeeze_."

Diana was relieved when her bed partner grunted and climaxed, releasing a small rush of fluids over her tongue and fingers.

She had done this before and liked to think that she'd always been able to pleasure whichever of her sister amazons shared her bed, but just now she'd felt like a complete beginner, someone that needed constant instructions in order to be any good. The horned woman was demanding and rather domineering as well, something that none of her sisters had been.

This was a common practice on Themyscira. It wasn't really spoken of much, but just about every woman on the island found a partner at least once or twice a month to share a bed with.

Diana had been in Man's World for just over seven months already and had built up quite a lot of tension, especially since she'd left in direct defiance of her mother's wishes. It had become immediately apparent that she wouldn't be able to relieve herself of that tension in the way that she was used to, which was why she'd been so pleased to find that Xanna's people had the same practice.

Once Xanna let go of her head, Diana situated herself on the bed and eagerly spread her legs, biting her lip in anticipation of the coming release.

"Well aren't you eager?" The goddess asked rherotically, observing the wet opening presented to her.

"Don't make me wait any longer." Diana whispered.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find me to be far better than your sisters and well worth waiting for." Xanna replied with a smirk. She'd long since lost her aversion about performing oral sex thanks to Naruto and she intended to use it as the first step of this minor side game.

Diana's breath hitched and eyes widened as the extremely long tongue that Batman had mentioned Uzu having extended from the horned woman's mouth and slithered around her opening teasingly, making her buck her hips upwards in a vain attempt to bring it closer.

She shuddered as it slid over her clitoris and probed into her vaginal tunnel like a serpent looking for a dark hole to hide in. Her legs twitched and threatened to close against her will when it began stimulating her erogenous zones with ever increasing vigor, but found themselves held by strong hands. She hadn't considered it before, but clearly Xanna was very powerful physically .

Diana kept her jaw firmly locked to prevent any loud moans or screams from escaping her as that wonderfully agile tongue drove her mad with pleasure the likes of which none of her sisters had ever been capable of giving her. Her hands twisted the sheets desperately. She would have grabbed the horns but wasn't sure if it would be considered offensive or not, so she kept her hands away.

Couple that with months without release and it was no surprise that it took a mere few minutes before her body was shuddering with a powerful orgasm.

"Great Hera...I never knew...that it was possible...to feel such pleasure." Diana panted with her eyes closed, her body glistening with sweat.

"Don't think that you can just fall asleep now, I am _far_ from satisfied." Xanna said sternly.

Diana opened her eyes when she felt the bed shifting, just in time to see the horned woman's crotch descending on her face.

"Wait, I-mmph" She tried to protest, but was cut off when her mouth was covered.

"Shut up and start licking." Xanna commanded, grabbing the amazon princess by the hair so that she couldn't turn her head away.

Diana tried to protest the treatment, but got cut off when two fingers on Xanna's other hand were shoved into her vaginal opening.

"Are you so weak that it takes but a single session to tire you? I expected better from you _amazon_."

The taunt, combined with the fingers probing her still sensitive tunnel provoked Diana into licking the wet slit pressed into her face, though there was a glare on her face at being treated so submissively.

"What's with that look on your face, don't like hearing that you couldn't satisfy me?" Xanna said with a challenging smirk aimed at the furiously licking woman whose head she had pinned between her legs.

Diana knew a challenge when she heard one and tried to thrown the horned woman off her so that she could take control, but had the strength robbed from her limbs as another wave of pleasure washed over her when another sweet spot inside her was hit.

"For a warrior, you seem rather easily defeated." Xanna once again taunted, withdrew her fingers and shifted focus on the amazon's engorged clitoris. Immediately she started using Naruto's old trick of stimulating the nub by swirling chakra around it.

Unable to muster enough strength in her arms to throw the other woman off due to what was being done between her legs, Diana resorted to lashing her tongue at the now soaking wet slit with more force.

"Better, but so clumsy." Xanna commented, frustrating Diana with how composed she sounded.

Diana's legs began shuddering and closing all by themselves because of the stimulation being applied to her, causing Xanna to snap at her commandingly, accompanied by a glare.

"Keep your legs spread!"

Diana obeyed and forced her legs apart despite their protests. She already felt terribly inadequate compared to the other woman and she had no wish to seem like she couldn't even control her own limbs.

This continued for several minutes longer until Diana began to feel a great pressure building up inside her, bringing her ever closer to the breaking point, but always held at bay because the horned woman would not allow her to climax. The sensation was starting to be so intense that she couldn't even tell anymore if she was feeling pleasure or pain as she moaned helplessly into Xanna's groin.

"Lets see if you can handle this amazon." The words filled Diana with foreboding about what was going to follow and she tried to prepare herself by instinctively tensing up.

It didn't help in the slightest when Xanna grabbed her engorged clitoris between her thumb and index finger and pinched it slightly. That alone would have been enough to trigger an orgasm, but she had also added a little trick that Naruto had cooked up for her benefit recently.

In addition to the swirling chakra already providing powerful stimulation, a weak electrical current was channeled directly into the nerves, causing them to surge with a sudden explosion of raw sensation.

Diana screamed at the top of her lungs into the wet slit covering her mouth, her vision going white as her body was trapped somewhere between agonizing pain and mind numbing euphoria. She wasn't even aware of the jet of liquid rocketing from between her legs and soaking the wall halfway across the room.

Her head lolled limply as she gulped down air and tried to remember what her name was and what was going on.

"Open your mouth amazon." A familiar voice commanded and she obeyed without bothering to question why. There was something familiar about being told what to do by that voice.

A pleasant tasting liquid streamed into her mouth and she swallowed it unthinkingly.

"Well, at least you know that you should always swallow." The same voice commented, this time with an amused tone.

The bed under her shifted and she felt a pair of lips brush her ear, causing her to shiver involuntarily. "You're quite the squirter Diana, how..._perverse_."

Diana opened her eyes and squinted at the bleary white haired, dusky skinned figured that moved across the room to pick up something white from the floor.

"Well it was interesting, but maybe next time I won't have to finish myself off. Good night." Xanna said calmly as she dressed and then quietly padded out of the room.

It took Diana a good twenty or so seconds to make sense of the words and she forced herself up on her elbows so that she could take stock situation without passing out.

Her entire body was dripping with sweat, as if a barrel of the stuff had been poured over her, even her hair was a sweaty tangled mess, while most of her face and the areas around her mouth in particular were soaked with Xanna's release. Many of her muscles, especially the ones in her legs, were spasming uncontrollably no matter how much she tried to control them and she could practically feel her consciousness slipping away.

The room itself had a puddle at the wall directly across from her and the wall itself was still dripping. The bed under her was also rather soggy, both from sweat and other fluids.

Diana _really_ wanted to clean this mess up, especially the puddle...and maybe set fire to the sheets she was lying on. Unfortunately, unconsciousness refused to be denied any longer and she collapsed on her thoroughly soiled bed.

In a few minutes, the natural hardyness of her people would have allowed her to reclaim at least enough strength to wash herself and clean up the worst of the mess. Her nervous system however, had been completely overloaded and her body decided that it was time to take a break.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Xanna smiled slightly to herself as she moved back towards her own room, but not before placing an area Genjutsu that would make people ignore Diana's room until she removed it.

Naruto had rubbed off on her enough that she wouldn't let anyone walk in on the exhausted amazon in her current condition. The game she was playing with her was only between the two of them. It wouldn't be as much fun if everyone knew what was going on.

Besides, Diana had been nothing but courteous and friendly to her. She deserved better than to be embarrassed like that.

Aside from that, she along with the other woman on this silly Justice League, Shayera, were oddly enough the two members that she and Naruto respected the most.

Unlike the other members, both of them were warriors(or soldiers in the case of Hawkgirl) and they had a definite killer instinct(though they curbed it due to being in what was essentially foreign territory), which spared them a lot of the mockery directed at the other members.

Well, that Green Lantern fellow also used to be a soldier, but he was rather irritating as a person and his killer instinct seemed to be severely blunted.

Either way, the near future promised to be amusing as the proud amazon princess tried to cope with the suddenly changed dynamic between them. She had been forced utterly into submission and it remained to be seen how she would react something like that.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto stared at the slowly lightening sky, contemplating how he should start off the little shitstorm in Metropolis.

The past several hours had been interesting to say the least.

Selina had showed him the basics of how the internet worked on her computer and then left him to it while she went to do something else, although not without a warning that he was not to break it.

He was rather impressed by the internet, a worldwide information sharing network like that would have been every Kage's worst nightmare back in the Elemental Nations. Though Selina's multiple warnings to stay away from the porn had been very amusing. It figured that over half of the internet would be pictures of boobs, people will be people after all.

Though he found the notion of fake boobs vaguely disgusting. Yet another thing about this world in a long line of them that made no sense to him whatsoever.

But getting back to the point of using the internet, the music. There was a lot of it, so much that Naruto had been hopelessly lost at first.

Selina hadn't been very helpful either, she'd just told him to google it if he wanted an explanation. Naruto got the distinct feeling that she was still a bit angry at him for the rape prank, despite the fact that he'd gotten her two shiny cat things.

It had taken him hours, but he'd finally been able to narrow down his interests.

Most slow music he found terribly dull and sleep inducing.

He didn't get rap at all, and that was one type of music that had actually existed in the Elemental Nations. He hadn't gotten it there either.

The purely electronic made stuff made his teeth itch with the sudden irrational desire to bite off the fingers of whoever was making it. It was repetitive, grinded on his nerves and irritated his sensitive hearing. It didn't even have vocals most of the time and he liked vocals.

The so called 'pop' music, which was apparently called that because that's what the majority of young people listened to, confused him.

From what he could tell it mostly consisted of bratty looking girls and pretty boys(he hesitated to call them men considering they were in something called _boy bands_) in flashy clothing singing about how hard love was.

Naruto personally didn't see what was so hard about it. All you had to do was devote yourself absolutely to the one you loved and respect whatever limits they set for you and vice versa. Granted, it would seem that other people's morals weren't quite as flexible as his and Xanna's were but the same principle applied.

Though he had to say that it was amusing to look at a certain singer's timeline and be able to deduce their relationship woes just from the type of songs they wrote. Love songs first, then songs about relationship trouble and then songs about how they got betrayed, funny stuff.

Naruto was glad he would never have that issue. If Xanna ever felt like betraying him, she would simply destroy his soul, problem solved.

After slogging through that mess he'd finally come across something called 'metal' which he would shamelessly admit to being interested in at first just because of the genre name, but he found himself genuinely liking it.

It was mostly fast paced(which he liked) and the themes seemed to cover practically everything.

Though he did find the outfits some bands used to be rather over the top, but he managed to ignore it. He'd gotten used to all the unnecessary(in his opinion) showmanship by then anyway. He had to admit that he also wasn't too much of a fan of the barely intelligible growling type of metal, but to each their own he supposed.

It was also funny to think that his appearance would be a huge hit among metalheads. They were big on horns apparently.

Either way, most of his contemplation was centered on the possibilities of making himself a soundtrack while he was kicking the League's ass.

Mournfully, he was forced to conclude that it just wasn't feasible.

_There's just no way I'd be able to set up a speaker system powerful and widespread enough for that to work_._ For one thing, I don't even know HOW to set up a speaker system._ He admitted to himself.

_I see you've managed to take my suggestion and get some ridiculous idea because of it._ Xanna's amused voice drifted into his thoughts.

_It's not THAT ridiculous. You have to admit that it would be awesome to have a personal soundtrack while you're kicking ass._ Naruto argued his position with a grin, happy to hear from her.

_Keep that in mind if you ever manage to figure out how to produce music with your chakra alone, since that's the only way I can see it being possible._ Xanna countered with some sarcasm.

_Yeah...maybe if I learned how to manipulate sound waves in just the right way...but that would be so ridiculously complicated that it would probably take me a hundred years to figure out for even a single song._ Naruto replied seriously.

_Exactly my point, it just isn't worth the effort._ Xanna retorted.

_I'm gonna do it._

_What? _ Came Xanna's flat question to that declaration. _Why would you waste one hundred years trying to figure out how to produce a song with your chakra? It's ridiculous even if you make a shadow clone do it._

_Why not?_ Naruto asked with amusement._ It's not like we're short on time and you never know when you might need some appropriate music._

_Or you could just...you know, use a Genjutsu to do it? That would be much simpler._ She suggested sarcastically.

_Oh right, Genjutsu..._" He said in realisation, recalling that he could actually use that discipline now. _I completely forgot about that._

_Why does that not surprise me?_ She muttered rhetorically.

_Well, I'll do that too and see which is better._ He decided firmly.

He could already see his wife rolling her eyes. _Fine then, far be it from me to dissuade you from your insane schemes._

_But of course, if you remember correctly it was my insane schemes that made us gods in the first place._ Naruto said smugly.

_You're going to bring that up every time you need to justify something aren't you?_

_Well it IS one hell of good reason to brag._

_Be that as it may I didn't contact you because I wanted to have this absurd conversation. I'm extending the time table on our plan by at least a few days._ Xanna said, redirecting the conversation to its original purpose.

_Something going on?_

_You could say that._ He raised an eyebrow at the obvious amusement in her tone._ You know about the dark haired woman in the Justice League, Wonder Woman?_

_Thunder Tits? what about her?_

_I got bored and decided to make her uncomfortable by suggesting that we have sex._

Naruto's eyebrows shot up in surprise at hearing that. _That seems more like something that I would do._

_I know, you weren't around to amuse me so I decided to do it myself._ She admitted.

_Aw, that's so sweet. _He teased, feeling her minor embarrassment at the admission. _So...what happened?_

_She was very happy to hear that and practically leaped at the opportunity._

Naruto stood stock still for about ten seconds before he suddenly started laughing uproarously, scaring away all the wildlife in the area.

_If you are quite done?_

_You tried to make her uncomfortable and ran into a horny carpet muncher! BAHAHAHAHA_. He said back while repeatedly smacking his hand against the ground, clearly not done at all.

An exasperated sigh echoed in his head as he continued laughing like an idiot for the next three minutes.

_Okay, I'm done now._ He said with a small chuckle, wiping away a tear of mirth.

_Finally._ She huffed, but he knew that she was smiling.

_So you ended up sleeping with her sort of by accident, but I get the feeling that's not the fun part._ Naruto guessed.

_Oh no, the fun part is the fact that I forced her into a submissive position and now I'm going to taunt her into trying to get out of it...then I'm going to do it again._

_Damn, that's just evil, but how do you know she's going to play along? I mean...she could just not sleep with you again._ He asked curiously.

_Oh she will, I doubt her pride as a warrior would allow her to just let it go._ Xanna answered confidently. _And I will be demanding that she come to me again, so she will feel the need to confront me about it for one reason or another, at which point I can simply seduce her again._

_Are you sure it's ok to be doing that? _Naruto asked uncertainly and elaborated before she could ask. _I know that we're already playing games with these hero types, but not with their emotions like this. If she ends up developing some weird kind of attachment to you, this is going to be really troublesome._

Xanna smiled to herself again in her room aboard the Watchtower. It was good to see that her husband could still see them as people despite the way they were playing with them. His worries about losing sight of his own humanity due to the vastness of his power spoke well for him. Not to mention the fact that he was questioning her actions spoke well about the healing of his rather cracked psyche. He'd never be normal, but he had moved away from the 'one-step-away-from-insanity' state he'd been in after her near death.

_It is quite alright, casual one night stands with other women seem to be the norm rather than the exception in her home, which was the reason for her eagerness to jump into bed with me in the first place. She was desperate for some relief._

_Oh, so that's how it is. In that case, make sure to get her a T-shirt before we leave._ Naruto advised sagely.

Xanna rolled her eyes at his suggestion. _This T-shirt thing is going to be another running gag isn't it?_

_Naturally, it's too funny to be just a one time thing._ He confirmed.

_Fine, I will make sure that she gets a T-shirt._

_Hehe, good._ Naruto chuckled. _It's still hilarious that your plan backfired like that though. Maybe you should get a T-shirt too? Something like '_Accidental lesbian sex._'?_

_Oh really?_ She said with a distinctly smug tone in her voice. _How about '_I get more pussy than my husband._'?_

Naruto froze again as that sentence penetrated his brain and he realised that Xanna was right, at the moment, she really _was_ getting more pussy than him.

The mind link closed with the echo of her laughter, preventing any comeback even if he had managed to think of one(which he didn't).

He'd need to seriously step up his game if he wanted to one up his wife this time.

He knew that just sleeping around like a huge man-whore wouldn't count. Any idiot could do that. Well maybe not _any_ idiot, but it certainly wouldn't be anything special for him to manage. It didn't even have to be sex actually, it just had to be something impressively devious.

Ah well, it would come to him. Stupid, insane plans _always_ came to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**There we go, chapter number 3.**

**On the issue of casually carpet munching amazons: If an island full of beautiful immortal women with nothing to do with their lives wouldn't go in that direction, then I will eat my foot. Not to mention that this is an ancient greek culture we're talking about. My memories about high school history class is a bit fuzzy, but I ****_do_**** remember that the greeks weren't exactly shy about homosexuality.**

**No offense is intended to any lesbians reading this with my lack of political correctness, I don't believe in political correctness the same way I don't believe in God. xD**

**And please review of course :P**


	4. Chapter 4

**Several people have reviewed in response to my blunder in the previous chapter about there not being some kind of all powerful deity in the DC universe and I already have ideas to correct that, which I considered to be better than rewriting that part of the chapter. Thank you for pointing that out.**

**Other than that, I've got nothing to say apart from enjoy this newest chapter.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Diana was making her way back towards her room now that the latest meeting that the Justice League had held on the topic of Uzu was over.

In short, they had nothing.

Aside from sporadic sightings, the horned man seemed to have vanished like a ghost. Nobody really trusted the sudden silence and figured that he was planning something big. Xanna had confirmed their suspicions, telling them that Uzu was well known to be unpredictable and seemingly random in his actions, but he had a habit of vanishing before he made any big moves.

It was unfortunate that J'onn couldn't find him via telepathy as their quarry was just as invisible to him as Xanna was.

Speaking of Xanna...

Diana didn't know what to do about her.

She had fervently thanked Hera that no one had needed her for anything while she had been sleeping off their encounter. The life support system had fortunately cycled the air around so her room hadn't reeked of sex anymore and she had managed to remove all evidence of what had gone on.

The sexual experience had been pleasurable on a completely different level from anything she'd ever experienced on Themyscira, but there was more to it than that. She was embarrassed at how apparently inadequate she'd been to the horned woman and her pride stung at being so completely dominated.

She hadn't asked, but Diana got the distinct feeling that Xanna was much older and therefore more experienced than her.

It didn't help that veiled suggestive looks had been sent her way several times during the meeting and she was clearly expected to show up in the horned woman's room later on. The problem was that Diana didn't want to be submissive and cater to the domineering woman's demands like a servant and certainly not like a pleasure slave.

Her body had tingled with leftover sensation even after she'd woken up and just the memory of it made an uncomfortably pleasant heat burn between her legs. It made her want to go back for more.

Unfortunately, Diana was under no delusions as to what would likely happen if she played by the rules set by the other woman. She had seen that Xanna clearly enjoyed the dominant position she'd claimed and Diana was far from certain in her ability to force the horned woman to accept her as an equal. She was the most accomplished warrior on Themyscira despite her young age, but this was a wholly different sort of battle. In this, she was clearly a rookie trying to measure up to a seasoned veteran and failing rather predictably.

Despite her mauled pride, Diana decided that it would be best not to try vindicating herself and compounding the situation. She was actually rather apprehensive of the distinct possibility that it would happen again, mangling her pride further and eventually ending up as being normal for her to be dominated like that. It was not unheard of for a younger amazon to fall under the sway of an older and more forceful one in such a manner, though the last such incident had been long before her time. The last _known_ incident anyway.

Shaking her head in an attempt to clear her mind of its preoccupation on this subject, Diana could hardly believe how much consternation her desire for the familiar release in the arms of a woman had brought her. Especially considering the fact that Xanna would only be with them for a short time and there were more important things to think about, such as the ruthless killer they were confronted with.

"Troubling thoughts?" Came the casual question from the very woman who was the source of the troubling thoughts she was asking about.

Diana spun around to face her, surprised that she had been snuck up on. "Xanna...you startled me."

The amazon's eyes flicked downwards towards the other woman's bare feet briefly, knowing it to be the most likely reason for her incredibly silent movement. Xanna had refused to wear any kind of footwear despite the cold metal floors and walked with ghostly silence when she wished to do so.

"Yes, you seemed rather distracted." Xanna replied conversationally, taking a step closer.

"I was considering our lack of success at finding Uzu and trying to think of any way to track him." Diana lied, not wanting to betray her conflicting feelings about the sexual encounter to the very woman she'd had that encounter with.

"There is no need to lie to me you know, I am well aware that you are unsettled by what happened between us." Xanna replied with a small smirk stepping even closer.

Diana backed away in time with her approach as she replied. "Not so much by what happened, but the way it happened." She admitted.

"Did you not enjoy it?" The horned goddess asked and continued her approach.

"We shouldn't be talking of this here, anyone could see us." Diana deflected slightly nervously, having backed up into a wall in the face of the other woman's predatory approach.

They might be in one of the less frequented areas but that didn't mean that there wasn't still a considerable danger of someone walking in on them. She knew that out of all the members of the Justice League she was the least prudish, which was highly ironic considering how generally perverse Man's World was. Either way, she didn't want her tryst with their guest to be known to everyone.

Xanna paid no heed to the words and pressed herself into the amazon princess sensually. "I think it makes it more exciting." She whispered into her ear.

"Well I don't." Diana hissed quietly, trying to gently push the other woman away but meeting with no success whatsoever. Whatever else Xanna's people may be, physically weak they were not.

"Are you certain?" Xanna said teasingly and deliberately pressed her thigh between the amazon's legs, drawing a gasp from her. "I have been wondering why you go into battle in such attire. It certainly flatters you, but it seems rather inadequate as armor." This was emphasized by her hands sliding over the body hugging armor and finishing their journey by cradling Diana's face in their clawed grip.

Diana wasn't able to muster any answer to that for more than one reason. For one thing, she couldn't come up with any valid reason herself...that was just the way that the armor was and she had never questioned it. For another, the way that the horned woman was grinding her thigh between her legs was rapidly reminding her body of the pleasures inflicted on it earlier and she was already getting wet.

Unknown to her, Xanna was once again cheating and stimulating her pleasure centers with chakra. She would never have been able to get this kind of reaction out of the amazon with just her thigh otherwise.

"Stop, don't do this here." Diana whispered with a slight pant, hardly able to believe how easily any sense of control had been wrested away from her.

"Then come to my room later and I will do it there." She punctuated her purred statement by pushing her thigh more firmly upwards along with a tiny chakra surge, drawing a gasp from the amazon. "Don't keep me waiting too long now." She finished with a whisper, her lips nearly touching Diana's.

Xanna moved away after that, but Diana stayed leaning on that wall for nearly a minute longer, hovering perilously close to orgasm and silently thankful that she didn't have anything trickling down her legs at least.

With a shudder that she wasn't sure was from apprehension or pleasure, Diana concluded that no, she would definitely not be winning any fights for sexual dominance or even equality. She would indeed show up in Xanna's room, but it would be to tell her that what had happened between them was just a one time thing and most definitely not going to be repeating itself. It sat ill with her to do so when she knew Xanna had been disappointed with her performance , but it would be even worse if she allowed herself to be pushed around into becoming the domineering woman's plaything.

What a mess this had turned out to be when all she'd been looking for had been a pleasant hour or two in bed with another woman.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Some hours later_

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to show, please sit." Xanna said languidly as she lounged on a chair in the room given to her. The words themselves were a lie though, she had known perfectly well that Diana would be coming for one reason or another.

"No thank you, I won't be staying long." Diana declined, not wanting to give even the slightest impression that she was here for another bout of sex.

That being said though, she was deeply uncomfortable with the situation. The sense of superiority exuding from the horned woman was more intense than ever, making her feel as if she should be subservient for some reason.

"How disappointing, I had hopes that you would get better eventually." Xanna said with a sigh, resting her head on her hand and crossing her legs in a tantalizing gesture.

Diana was strangely grateful for the casual slight...it angered her enough to keep her mind away from the overpowering sense of sexuality radiating from the beautiful red eyed woman.

"Be that as it may, I am here only to tell you that I have no wish to repeat what happened between us." She said firmly, keeping her pride in check instead of allowing herself to be goaded.

"Not even one last time?" Was the seductively purred response, accompanied by a lewd spreading of legs.

Diana turned away in both embarrassment and an effort to lessen her temptation. Her body was all but begging her to accept the offer and repeat the experience that had left her shaking like a leaf in a storm. If Xanna hadn't been so disturbingly domineering then she wouldn't have given it even a single thought before accepting, would have been glad for the chance to learn how to do the same even. Her pride would never allow her to be subservient to another though and she knew that Xanna would accept nothing but subservience. She didn't really blame the horned woman for it, since she was just being herself, but it wasn't something she wanted any part in.

"Not even that." She said firmly.

The hands that suddenly caressed her thighs revealed that Xanna had somehow managed to stand up and approach without the slightest sound.

"A pity, there was much I could have taught you about pleasuring a woman." The words were whispered into her ear suggestively even as a warm body pressed itself into her back.

"I was only looking for a one night stand." Diana said back as calmly as possible, using a phrase she'd heard during her stay in Man's World, though she failed to hide a slight hitch in her breathing as her body reacted to the touch.

At this point she stepped out of the other woman's hold, not wanting to be exposed to the temptation any further.

"So you used me to satisfy your own urges and now that you've done so, you're breaking things off?" Xanna questioned with a distinctly fake pouty tone in her voice.

"It isn't like that, I just don't want to continue having sex with you." Diana insisted.

"Not even if I told you that I know many other ways to give a woman pleasure beyond those you've already experienced? I would even teach you how to properly please a woman." Xanna whispered throatily, her voice full with the promise of unimaginable pleasures. She also took the opportunity to step closer and press herself up against the amazon again.

Diana held back a shudder, feeling herself getting moist just from the promise in those words. She wanted to give in so badly that it wasn't even funny and the warm body pushing against her wasn't helping matters.

"No, now let me go." She whispered. Despite everything else, she was sure that Xanna would respect her wish to stop if she could just hold on to her resolve.

At this point Xanna was officially impressed. The amazon princess had remarkable willpower to be capable of resisting such persistent seduction. With an internal sigh, she conceded that she would probably be eating her words about getting more pussy than Naruto, even if it had been a joke more than anything. She honestly hadn't expected the dark haired amazon to be capable of resisting her to this extent. Naruto had certainly never managed.

Then again, Naruto was a horndog with no reason to resist, so it was hardly a fair comparison.

Still, she would be damned if she would be letting the amazon get away from this comfortably. Oh no, her original intention was to make her uncomfortable and that was what was going to happen.

"Alright then, I will give you my final proposition and if you still do not want to continue, then I will respect your wishes and leave you be." Xanna stated casually.

"What proposition?" Diana asked warily, desperately locking her knees to keep her legs from shaking. She only needed to withstand this final temptation and then the persistent horned woman would let the matter drop. She was sure that she could do that much.

"This is something that I have never offered anyone before, just so you are aware of how far I am willing to go for you." Xanna whispered into her ear quietly.

The amazon's breath caught as Xannna's hand moved around so that it was caressed her rear end while the other fondled a breast.

"This is not something often offered to anyone aside from spouses in fact." Xanna continued to speak sensually as her thigh joined her hands in stimulating the amazon.

"What are you d-hnngh!" Diana's alarmed question was cut off when a finger was suddenly pushed just the slightest bit into her anal opening through her groin covering, causing her back to arch and making her gasp for air instinctively.

"I am showing you another form of pleasure Diana." The horned goddess spoke sensually and pushed her finger in just a bit deeper, drawing another breathless gasp from the amazon. Her actual finger couldn't really be pushed in there thanks to the cloth covering it, nor did Xanna really want to have one of her digits inside a mortal's anus, what with their unsightly need for waste disposal, but chakra had no such physical limitations.

_How can this feel so good?_ Diana thought dazedly even as she desperately did her best to stay silent. She had always been under the impression that any playing around in that hole was supposed to be painful.

She was mostly right even. Most people were never able to get any enjoyment out of such things, but Xanna was once again cheating by stimulating the nerves with chakra.

"Just give in Diana, if you do then I will allow you to lick my asshole. It's very clean, I promise."

That was very true. It was, in fact, the cleanest asshole in existence since it had never been used before. Not for waste disposal at any rate. Xanna had no desire to perform such an unsightly act even though she liked eating, so she didn't allow her body to generate any waste. It had been one of the first things she'd taught Naruto how to do once he became a god. Gods shouldn't have to endure the indignity of such a thing.

The jarring crudeness that had just drifted into her ear was enough to snap the amazon out of the lusty haze she'd been placed in and she violently ripped herself out of the hold that the horned woman had on her.

"What?!" She squawked rather uncharacteristically, readjusting the cloth covering her groin.

"What's wrong?" Xanna asked, her quizzical tone sounding very convincing. "I'm offering you a great honor you know. I've come to like you so I've offered this to you, which I have never offered anyone before."

This was also true, she had never offered something like this to anyone before. Naruto had simply done it without asking for permission, the pervert.

"Why would anyone want to do that?!" Diana demanded incredulously, starting to get the distinct feeling that her decision to distance herself from Xanna in any kind of sexual way had been wiser than she'd known when she had made it.

"Why not?" Xanna once more asked in puzzlement with her head cocked. "It is a highly erotic act and many would give their right arm to be allowed to do it to me."

Alright, that was laying it on _really_ thick, but the amazon was so off balanced by the seduction and then the strange offer that she probably would have believed that there were flying purple kittens farting rainbows just outside the window.

"So...would you like to?" She asked as she once more approached the dark haired woman

Diana opened her mouth to answer but was cut off by the speakers.

"_All Justice League members prepare for deployment! Uzu has been sighted in Metropolis._"

J'onn's announcement blared across the watchtower, interrupting what would have been Diana's refusal.

"Thank Hera." Diana exclaimed unthinkingly, grateful beyond words for an escape from the incredibly awkward situation. She tried to rush out the door only to get hit by something even Xanna hadn't foreseen.

Diana's legs buckled under the sudden quick movement, having still been a bit wobbly under the horned woman's ministrations. The amazon was also dismayed to feel a few wet trails going down her legs. The material of her groin covering was entirely non-absorbent, but that just meant that the visible signs of her arousal had nowhere else to go but out.

"Are you alright?" Xanna asked, suppressing any visible signs of her amusement at seeing the amazon princess so ruffled.

"I'm fine." Diana answered shortly, her face burning in embarrassment.

"You can use my bathroom for a quick shower if you'd like." Xanna offered.

Diana nodded her head and entered the bathroom for a very quick scrub, feeling inordinately grateful that the awkward situation was done with even if the conversation had been interrupted. That was probably going to leave some residual awkwardness, but it was at the very least over.

She really should have known that a people that looked so alien would have some very odd sexual practices, but she hadn't considered that in her relief at finding a woman that seemed to come from a society that was so similar to hers. She'd gotten her pride mauled and rather humiliatingly dominated, then she had very nearly gotten roped into some strange kind of anal play, but at least it was over and she'd know better next time.

Out of her sight, Xanna bit her lip to stifle her amusement. The unresolved conversation was likely going to be a constant source of low level discomfort for some time, but more amusing than that was Naruto's strangely perfect timing and Diana's horror struck face at the idea of licking her anus.

The next bit of entertainment was already lined up as Naruto messed with Metropolis, but she was getting eager for it to be over.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_Hours before the announcement_.

Naruto squatted invisibly on top of Lex Luthor's huge building and would have looked very much like some kind of long haired, blond gargoyle if anyone could have actually seen him.

He liked this spot, it was very scenic.

The owner of the building was doing something or other on his office computer, entirely unaware of the interloper. Naruto wasn't going to act against the criminal business man just yet, he was just using the building as a vantage point. Not that Luthor was going to get through the day without a visit from him, it just wasn't going to be right away.

Honestly, the man had just been in prison not very long ago and yet here he was, yet again back in his office doing whatever it was that greedy bald people do. How exactly was it justice if you could just buy your way out of prison?

But that was an issue for later, right now Naruto was looking for a very specific pussy. To be more accurate he was looking for the supervillainess that went by the name of 'Cheetah', though the intelligence he'd gathered cast some serious doubt on her being an actual villain.

Either way, he wanted to meet her, though he was going to keep a tighter leash on his sense of humor this time. The blundered joke with Selina was something he was still vaguely ashamed of, especially so considering his hatred of rapists. He had seriously gone too far there and it was fortunate that it had been so easy to resolve. Clearly, spending ten years secluded on an island with his wife hadn't done his social graces any favors.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Priscilla Rich, formerly a renowned geneticist and now more commonly known as the supervillainess Cheetah, was half-heartedly flipping channels on the TV in the slightly run down home she was living in, mostly just to waste time before nightfall. She knew that she'd have to go steal something again if she wanted to even keep the home hidden from scrutiny that would force her to abandon it, much less continue with her ever more hopeless efforts to reverse the change that had forced her into crime in the first place.

"Why the long face?" A deep, growling voice that was full of amusement asked out of nowhere.

Not that Cheetah noticed the tone, considering the fact that she was taken completely off guard and therefore reacted in a rather typical catlike fashion by yelping and rocketing into the air. Unfortunately, given her sitting position this caused her to tip over the armchair she had been sprawled in and crashing to the floor with a distinct lack of catlike grace.

She picked herself up instantly and backed away from the still unknown source of the voice, every instinct screaming at her that she was in terrible danger. When she finally caught sight of her mysterious visitor, she was inclined to agree with those instincts.

"Uzu." She said shakily, easily recognizing the rather distinctive features of the man that had made himself the personal boogeyman of many criminals within weeks of his first appearance.

"Priscilla." He said back with a grin, much amused by her pratfall. "I've been looking for you."

She didn't even bother wondering how he knew her real name, far more worried about the fact that he'd been searching for her.

"Pleased to meet you." He continued and approached her with his hand extended.

Much too frazzled to take note of the fact that the words were genuine and that the hand was extended in a friendly gesture, she once again reacted in a predictably catlike fashion by clawing at it.

What she didn't expect was for her claws to end up getting stuck in his incredibly tough skin instead of cutting it.

"Bad kitty, no tuna." He quipped, the grin widening at how catlike she was acting.

Scowling she pulled her claws out and backed away, warily watching the much taller man for any hostile moves, though she wasn't sure if she'd be able to do anything about it.

"Why are you here?" She asked as evenly as possible, starting to get a handle on her fear even though she still felt as if she was in the presence of some massive predator that could tear her to pieces by breathing too hard.

"There are several things I've wanted to ask you." Naruto said casually and put the armchair she'd flipped over back where it belonged.

"What kind of things?" She asked, feeling calmer with every passing moment. Despite the everpresent sense of proximity to an apex predator, it was starting to become obvious that he wasn't here to kill her.

"Well, I've been wondering what the deal was with you being a criminal. All the information I've managed to get on you seems to point at the idea that you're not exactly enthusiastic about it."

"What else am I supposed to do, looking like this?" She answered bitterly. "I used to be a scientist, one of the best geneticists in the world, but after my change I became an outcast, there wasn't exactly a lot I could do and I certainly wasn't going to join a circus so that people could gawk at me like I was some kind of freak."

_Ah, the typical human rejection of anything out of the ordinary._ Naruto mused, remembering the way that Jinchuuriki had been treated in the Elemental Nations.

"Didn't consider becoming a superhero? I hear that's all the rage after science accidents these days." He asked wryly.

"Yes that's exactly what I needed, to make enemies on top of everything else. Not to mention that being a superhero isn't a paying job." She retorted sarcastically, but settled down quickly once she recalled just who she was talking to.

"That it isn't." He agreed with a smirk.

Several moments of slightly awkward silence followed before Naruto spoke again.

"So...would you like me to try changing you back? I offered it to Poison Ivy, but she turned me down. You look like you'd want it though."

Her eyes snapped up to his and it took every bit of restraint she had to keep from demanding answers about his ability to do something like that or even agreeing on the spot.

Instead of that, she asked a wary question. "What's the catch?"

"Well, there are two things that I would ask you to do for me in exchange."

"What kind of things?" She asked even more warily, not liking the sound of it. She didn't believe for a moment that something like this wouldn't have a huge price tag attached to it.

"Nothing bad, I promise. I'd just like you to explain something to me if you can and one other minor thing." He answered honestly.

Biting her lip, Priscilla considered. Uzu seemed sincere enough, though he clearly didn't want to reveal what he wanted from her, which was a point of concern. What he considered minor could well be something that she really didn't want to do and she didn't know him well enough to judge whether he'd be the type to do something like that.

But she _really_ wanted her life back and he _had_ been friendly enough so far, so she decided to risk it. Once she was back to being fully human, there wasn't a whole lot that she could do for him anyway.

"Yes, I want to be normal again, if you think you can do it." She said, hiding her nervousness. "What do I have to do?"

"Just relax." He said soothingly and pressed his palm to her chest, his lips quirking when he felt her embarrassment at the touch.

Feeling out her life force, which was quite different from a regular human, he started pulling away the animal and reinforcing the human, finding it oddly ironic that the terrible life draining ability he'd developed long ago was now being used to help someone.

"It's done, you can open your eyes now." Naruto said and removed his hand.

Priscilla did so and started tearing up in relief when she saw pale pink flesh instead of spotted fur. Her balance also felt off and she reached behind her to make sure that the tail was gone. Running a hand over her head, she noted that she was bald but that was completely inconsequential in the face of the fact that she was fully human again.

"Would you like me to grow your hair back too?" He questioned when he saw her do that.

"Please." She confirmed with a happy nod.

This time placing his hand on her head, he stimulated hair growth until it reached to her shoulders in an unorganized mess that called for a serious trip to the hairdresser.

"Blond, should have known." He muttered with a sardonic grin.

She opened her mouth to ask what he was talking about when she suddenly became aware of the fact that she was naked, something which hadn't been a concern ever since her change into that cheetah hybrid.

Her face developed a blush and she covered herself awkwardly, his appreciative look not making her feel better in the slightest.

"Well, this is a perfect time for that minor thing I wanted to ask you to do."

Her heart sank at his words. It had been a concern that he would demand sex in payment for changing her back and she had considered it to be worth it, but it still made her feel dirty.

"A-alright." She stuttered nervously and removed her hands, hoping that he wouldn't be too rough at least.

"I want you to wear this T-shirt for me."

Blinking incredulously, she completely forgot to cover herself as she automatically took the large T-shirt and spread it so that she could read the caption.

**_Uzu sucked the pussy out of me!_**

She gaped at the bold and extra large caption, too stunned to even say anything.

"What do you think? It's awesome isn't it?" He asked with a huge grin at her reaction.

"_This_ is what you want in exchange for giving me my life back? To wear a silly T-shirt for you?!" There was a vast amount of incredulity in her voice.

"What...did you think I was going to make you sleep with me? You're such a pervert kitten." He shook his head in mock sorrow, though the grin on his face ruined the effect.

Grumbling slightly, she put on the T-shirt, finding it to actually be very comfortable. It was also big enough to reach down to her thighs, which was exactly what she needed right now.

"You wouldn't happen to have any pants or underwear would you?" She asked jokingly.

"Ah nuts, I thought for sure that you wouldn't think of that." He grumbled good naturedly and passed her a lacy black thong and a pair of grey sweatpants.

"Where are you getting all these clothes?" She asked incredulously as she put them on, secretly relishing the feel of wearing clothing again. From what she could see, they were just appearing in his hands out of thin air.

"I'm imagining them into existence." He said mysteriously, wiggling his fingers to add to the effect.

Priscilla looked at him sceptically, but couldn't find it in her to argue. For all intents and purposes it _did_ look like he was doing exactly that and it certainly wouldn't be the strangest thing she'd ever heard of.

"So, what did you want me to explain to you?" She asked as she sank back into the armchair, hugging her legs and marveling at how comfortable the clothes he'd given her were. She was definitely going to be using them as sleepwear from now on. Aside from the comfort, they would also be a pleasant memory of how she got her humanity back. Even the T-shirt caption didn't bother her and it _was_ technically true...terribly misleading though.

"This is something that's been bothering me ever since I came to this world and I couldn't find any explanation for it, so I figured that a geneticist might know." He started ominously. There had been geneticists back in the Elemental Nations, but all of them were medic-nin and they'd been exclusively focused on bloodlines.

She gestured for him to continue and listened attentively.

"Why aren't there any superheroes or villains with brown hair?"

"What?" Priscilla asked, utterly baffled at the strange question.

"Just look at everyone that's calling themselves super something or other. Pretty much every male has hair that's either completely black or in rare cases blond if they aren't bald. Most of the women have hair that's some variation of red or blond or the rarer black. Mind you, this is disregarding those whose hair is some completely other weird color like blue or green."

Priscilla continued to look utterly baffled, so Naruto continued speaking.

"Look at us for example. You're blond and I'm blond. In fact, my hair is the sexiest shade of blond that the world will ever see which is directly proportional to my being the sexiest and most badass guy that the world will ever see. Is there some kind of connection between awesome hair color and level of badass or something? Brown is by far the most common hair color and I've yet to see a single brown haired super anything. Which is why I want to know if there is something about brown hair that prevents people from gaining super powers? Is it just too boring for the universe to deign gracing a brown haired person with some awesome, because if that's the case then the universe is an asshole."

"While you make a good point, I think it's just coincidence." She answered slowly once she'd gotten her wits about her at the strange question.

"So you're telling me that nothing but pure chance dictated that nobody with the most common hair color in existence ever got super powers?" He asked sceptically.

"I guess?" She answered with deep uncertainty, knowing exactly how unlikely that was.

"You can't explain it can you?"

"Not in the slightest." She admitted with a chuckle.

They shared a moment of silence before Naruto abruptly stood up.

"Well, this has been fun, but I've got places to go and people to kill."

"Wait!" She said and quickly got to her feet as well, not wanting him to vanish yet.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her and she gave him a hug, making him return it with a grin. He always liked hugging girls.

"Thank you, for everything." She said with feeling, squeezing tightly.

"You're lucky that you're a cute girl, if you were a man I'd have just told you to suck it up and stop whining." He admitted wryly.

The words caused her to laugh helplessly into his chest. She could quite easily imagine him doing something like that. It did give her an idea though.

Naruto was surprised when she suddenly jumped further up into his arms, forcing him to catch her when she clamped her legs around his waist, but he didn't resist when she kissed him. He also took the chance to grope her ass.

"Well, I'm glad that you came along to help me." She said and slid back down to the floor, not at all offended by the groping. After all that he'd done for her, he was more than welcome to it. Ironically, the fact that he hadn't demanded that she sleep with him was one of the major reasons why she felt so comfortable letting him do that.

"No problem, but I've just realised that you need one other thing."

"What?"

Instead of answering he handed her a pair of socks and sneakers. "You're not a kitty cat anymore, so you might need these."

"Thank you...again." She said ruefully, having honestly forgotten about that. It had been so long since she'd last worn clothes or shoes.

"And since I'm handing out presents, have these too as an apology for scaring you." He said again and made her cup her hands, after which a not inconsiderable amount of diamonds filled them.

"Diamonds?! Where did you get these?" She blurted out incredulously.

Naruto merely wiggled his fingers at her again.

Inwardly, he wondered if he'd end up lowering the market price of diamonds if he kept on spawning them like this. Girls sure did like their shinies in this dimension.

"Right, imagined them into existence, how silly of me." She said with a sigh. She should have seen that one coming.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_Hours later, shortly before the Justice League receives the alarm._

Naruto quirked an eyebrow in amusement at Lex Luthor, who was still working at his desk and looked as if he hadn't left in the hours since Naruto had been lurking on his roof.

He'd spent the last few hours hunting down the other supervillains that hung around the city and killing most of them. He'd left that gorilla looking guy calling himself the Ultra-Humanite alone, seeing as the man seemed more interested in listening to opera than anything else. Aside from occasionally stealing loads of money, he often ended up actually helping the heroes despite supposedly being a bad guy and since Naruto didn't care about money he left him alive.

The most disappointing of the bunch had been that lightning chick Livewire. At first glance it seemed like the woman was bitter about her lightning body not allowing any kind of human contact but on closer inspection, she was just bitter as a person and without any good reason for it to boot. Originally he'd been intending to seduce her, mostly out of idle curiousity about what it would be like to have sex with a lightning bolt than any real attraction to her, and then offer to turn her back to being fully human.

That plan had gone firmly out the window when she'd attacked him without any real provocation. He didn't have any problems deflecting or blocking her lightning attacks and had tried to reason with her, but the spiteful woman had just kept on attacking, apparently just for the sake of being able to use her powers. Eventually he'd been forced to admit that she was just as bad as many other of the more psychotic supervillains, at which point he'd soaked her in water and broken her neck.

He did have to slightly revise his opinion on brown haired people with super powers however, as that Metallo guy had brown hair. He was still just one guy among many though, so it didn't have much impact.

And now here he was, sitting on Lex Luthor's couch, a Genjutsu making sure that the bald man didn't pay any attention to him. He had to admit that it was a very nice office. It had comfortable, tasteful furniture and a great view of the city, but it was most certainly not a place that he'd want to spend his day in.

"You need to go out and get yourself a woman Lexy, sulking in this office can't be good for you." He said out of the blue and changed the Genjutsu so that it shrouded him in darkness instead of completely hiding him.

Predictably, the criminal business man surged to his feet in surprise and grabbed a gun that he had hidden under his desk.

"Who are you? How did you get in here?" He demanded, pointing the gun at the dark figure sitting on his couch.

"I'm sure you've heard of me by now." Naruto said and removed the shroud completely.

"Uzu." Luthor stated flatly and without any apparent fear as he repeated his previous question. "How did you get in here?"

Naruto gave the bald man a shit eating grin. "Fuck you, that's how."

Luthor scowled but didn't otherwise react as he put away the gun. He doubted that it would be of any use if the complete disregard that the horned man was giving it was any clue. "Why are you here?"

"The question is, why are _you_ here?" Naruto countered.

"This is my office." Lex deadpanned.

"Yes it is, but that's hardly a good reason to be in it, especially since you aren't even bothering to have an affair with your secretary."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Lex demanded, both irritated and confused.

"I'm just wondering why you're wasting time typing away at your computer and thinking up plans to screw over Superman instead of enjoying your life."

"I have better things to do than fool around."

"No, you_ had_ better things to do, according to yourself anyway." Naruto said and got to his feet, drawing the Kusanagi right after. "Since I'm about to kill you, you definitely won't have anything better to do anymore."

"Wait a minute, there's no need for that. I'm sure we can come to an agreement." Luthor said in alarm and backed away.

"Eh? What agreement do you think we could come to?" Naruto asked in amusement, stopping his advance.

"I can pay you." The business man hedged, hoping to appeal to the horned man's greed.

Naruto appeared to give it serious consideration before he nodded and named his price. "Alright, if you pay me five hundred trillion dollars, I'll let you live."

Luthor spluttered at the ridiculous figure. "Are you insane? Even if you put together all the money in the world you wouldn't even get close to that amount."

"Well, I _have_ always been known as a person of questionable sanity by my friends." Naruto responded brightly, apparently proud of this fact.

A bead of nervous sweat worked it's way down Luthor's bald head, seeing that money wouldn't get him out of this one and grasping at straws for anything else that might save him. "Maybe I can offer you something else?"

"Do tell." Naruto said casually, using his sword to gesture the man to continue. Coincidentally this did not make Luthor any less nervous.

"I know that the Justice League is looking for you, I can give you something that will let you neutralize Superman at least." Lex hurried to say and went to get the chunk of kryptonite that he always had hidden nearby. "Here, this kryptonite crystal will make him weak as a kitten if he comes near it."

Naruto took the glowing hunk of rock and looked at it closely, even sniffing it much to Luthor's puzzlement. "Shiny."

After that he promptly tossed it into his mouth, crushed it between his fangs and spat out the remains. "Needs some seasoning though."

Luthor stared at the horned blond in shock, distantly wondering what kind of insane jaw strength and tooth hardness he must have to do something like that.

Naruto grinned at the stunned lock on the bald man's face. "Well then, if you have nothing else to offer, I guess it's time to get to the killing."

"Wait! Just tell me what you want and I'll get it for you." Luthor said desperately. He wasn't a coward, but he didn't want to die either.

"Could you convince your mother to have sex with me on top of this building?" The blond asked seriously.

"...My mother is dead." Lex said slowly.

"So?"

"I can't convince her to have sex with you if she's dead." Lex said, once again slowly, hardly able to believe that he was having this conversation.

"But you would do it if she was alive?" Naruto asked seriously again.

"Yes?" The business man answered uncertainly, unsure if that was the right answer.

"You're a sick pervert Lexy, your parents must have regretted ever fertilizing you." Naruto shook his head in sorrow.

Lex would have pulled his hair out in frustration if he had any. He was being called a pervert by a man that wanted to sleep with his mother on top of a skyscraper and seemed to consider death only a minor inconvenience in this pursuit. Of course, his frustration was curtailed by the fact that this man clearly intended to kill him and was toying with him much like a cat would toy with a mouse.

Any further thought was interrupted by a sword through the heart. "Time's up Lexy."

The last thing Lex Luthor heard before everything went dark made only served to confuse him.

"Lexy, or maybe LeXXXy...that would have made a good stripper name if you were a girl...shit, now I've got mental images of a bald woman doing a striptease, not that there's anything wrong with bald women..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto casually walked out of Luthor's office, wiping down the Kusanagi with the curtains that he'd torn from the windows, and approached the secretary's desk.

"Good evening, I just wanted to inform you that there's a dead body bleeding on the carpets in there."

The secretary took one look at the towering horned man with slitted gold-orange eyes and a fanged grin as he wiped blood from the long sword in his hands and predictably ran away screaming for security.

"I was just trying to be helpful..." Naruto said with a mournful sigh, though his grin ruined the effect.

It didn't take more than a minute for security to arrive, which prompted Naruto to comment to himself again. "Now that's one hell of a fast response."

"Put the sword down and get on your knees with your hands behind your head!" The apparent leader of the three man team commanded.

"The only time I get on my knees is during sex and you're the completely wrong gender if you're trying to tempt me with a foursome." Naruto shot back flippantly.

"Do as I said or we'll open fire!" The man commanded again, ignoring the jibe.

Naruto sheathed the Kusanagi, spread his arms wide and spoke challengingly to the man. "Fire away."

The security team didn't waste time firing their pistols but were greatly dismayed to see the bullets bouncing off the horned man's skin ineffectually.

Several bullets struck Naruto's lower abdomen, causing him to bend over reflexively and giggle. "Shit, sometimes it really sucks being ticklish."

"Crap, he's one of those freaks that can't be hurt by bullets." The security team leader swore. "Fall back, let the Justice League deal with him, we don't get paid enough for this."

Their boss might not like the Justice League, but he was dead and they'd already seen the uselessness of their guns.

While the security team turned tail and ran, Naruto stood there and looked at their retreating backs with a frown, muttering to himself. "There's no need to call me a freak just because you're jealous, you bunch of brown haired sissies."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The assorted members of the Justice League thought that they might have some trouble locating Uzu in a city the size of Metropolis, especially since the man had already proven himself highly capable in stealth.

They were wrong.

"Is he seriously waving at us from the top of the tallest building in the city?" Flash asked incredulously as they spotted the bright blond mane on top of Lex Luthor's corporate tower from the Javelin.

"He's mocking us." Green Lantern stated with a scowl.

"Don't underestimate him, he's smarter than he pretends to be." Batman cautioned, receiving firm nods from everyone.

"I doubt he's going to stay up there if we all go after him. I'll confront him while the rest of you spread out in case he tries to bolt." Superman said.

"I'm going with you, Xanna cautioned us that he has many supernatural powers at his command, so he may well be able to harm you." Wonder Woman stated firmly.

"Fine." Superman conceded, seeing that the amazon wouldn't budge on this.

Their course of action decided, all the Justice Leaguers capable of self sustained flight exited the Javelin, with Lantern grabbing hold of Flash and carrying him out. Batman remained in the small spacecraft, knowing that he couldn't fight someone that powerful in hand to hand without some kind of equalizer.

Soon after, Superman and Wonder Woman were floating in the air in front of the horned blond.

"Uzu." Superman stated as some form of neutral greeting.

"Ah, Captain Underpants and Thunder Tits, did you come up here to admire the view with me?" Naruto asked with a mocking smirk.

Neither of the two heroes reacted to the insulting nicknames, keeping in mind Batman's warning about underestimating him.

"We're here to bring you in to answer for your crimes."

"That's going to be a problem." Naruto observed mildly. "I don't really think that I've committed any crimes and even if I had, I wouldn't be interested in answering for them."

Wonder Woman opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted when Naruto took a deep breath through the nose and turned towards Diana.

"Oh, You have something of mine I see, or rather some_one_. Her scent is all over you."

"Xanna does not belong to you." Wonder Woman stated coldly, despite her discomfort at the way that Uzu had apparently been able to sniff out at least some of what had gone on between them.

"But she _does_." Naruto insisted. She had said so herself at their marriage!

"We will never allow you to fulfill your designs on her." Diana asserted, speaking for the entirety of the Justice League. The situation between her and Xanna might be awkward and complicated, but it had no bearing on protecting her.

Naruto simply shrugged. It wasn't his problem if they didn't believe him. "Well then, I guess we have nothing more to say to each other."

Upon saying that, he launched himself across the Metropolis skyline at immense speed, using the tall buildings to bounce around like a pinball.

The Justice League wasted no time in giving pursuit, but were unfortunately becoming scattered due to their differing speeds.

Flash was the fastest of them, but he was earth bound, making it much harder to follow the swift moving blond.

Batman could use the sensors of the Javelin to keep better track of him than the others, but he was the least maneuverable. Keeping this in mind, he stayed higher and fed the others intelligence about Uzu's movements.

Green Lantern and Hawkgirl were the slowest flyers and thus reduced to following the others.

Wonder Woman was pretty fast, but she had no good way to keep track of her quarry when he bounced around a corner.

Superman was even faster than her and he could use his X-ray vision to keep track of Uzu better, but he needed to slow down when turning around corners or else risk smashing right through them.

J'onn was in fact the best suited for pursuit in this situation, his intangibility allowing him to keep a direct line of pursuit. He still couldn't use his telepathy to track Uzu, but he _could_ feel the wave of shock and surprise felt by the humans who saw the horned blond pass by them.

"He's toying with us! He's staying in the same area, but his movements are so random and abrupt that we can't pin him down." Lantern spat over their radio connection irritably.

It was a true observation. Uzu was bouncing around the buildings and sometimes through open windows in a display of impressive acrobatics and incredible situational awareness. It was also clear that he could somehow sense their presences if his ability to always keep ahead of them in this bizzare game of tag was any indication. All of the Justice League was also severely confused by the fact that Uzu was somehow not breaking every surface that he pushed himself away from, not even the glass windows, despite the obvious force with which he was doing so.

"I will cut him off, I know where he will go next." J'onn said stoically.

"Be careful." Superman cautioned, knowing that no one was in a position to back the martian up in time. They were all positioned so that they could cover any sudden changes in direction.

J'onn gave no verbal reply as he flew into position. Just in time as well, as the horned man came into view immediately after, rocketing towards him at immense speed with clear intent to attack.

J'onn phased himself into intangibility, intending to allow Uzu to pass through him and then grab onto him from behind. It would need very good timing considering the speed at which Uzu was moving, but J'onn was confident that he could do it.

That plan was ruined when a fist plowed heavily into his supposedly intangible face, causing the Martian's head to suddenly feel very fuzzy. Just before he had the back of it smashed into a building with enough force to knock him out, he heard Uzu say something that he wouldn't be able to remember later.

"If that trick didn't work for Obito eleven years ago, then it sure as hell isn't going to work for you now."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"J'onn is down, I repeat, J'onn is down!" Batman called urgently over the radio.

"I've got him." Flash reported, having sped over to catch the falling martian before he could injure himself any further by falling to the hard ground.

"How could that happen? Was J'onn off on the timing of his intangibility?" Hawkgirl demanded.

"No, Uzu negated it somehow." Batman answered grimly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto smirked to himself in amusement as he eavesdropped on their conversation. Negating that kind of space-time manipulation had long since become a trivial task even without the use of specially prepared Fuinjutsu.

Their brief distraction had been enough for him to vanish from the sight of his pursuers, including the sensors on their spacecraft and now he was already eyeballing his next victim.

The winged woman was an interesting one to be sure. Naruto's ever growing ability to peer into things that happened after death allowed him to sense that her soul was trapped into some kind of artificial cycle of reincarnation. It's hold on her was strong enough that it was distinctly possible that she could retain at least partial memory of these past lives.

That was just a curiousity though, right now he was going for irony.

Stealthily, he leaped at her and snatched her out of the air, covering her mouth to prevent any screaming from giving away their position.

By the time that the nearby Green Lantern turned around, They had both already vanished through an open window of a nearby skyscraper. It seemed to be largely empty, which was probably mostly due to the fact that it was slowly getting dark...well that and the super powered game of tag that none of the normal people wanted to get caught in.

Shayera tried to struggle but chains had pinned her arms almost as soon as she realised her danger, leaving her quite helpless. She did manage to activate her mace though and was heartened to see the chains breaking apart under its disruptive power.

"Arara, now that's a dangerous mace you've got there." Naruto commented in amusement and had more chains bind her, this time avoiding the mace. He also took the opportunity to take her earpiece and crushed it.

Shayera was obviously unable to reply because of the hand covering her mouth, but she did glare quite ferociously.

Naruto paid the nasty look no heed as he swiftly carried the winged woman deeper into the building until she was out of sight of the outside. The others would be coming after them very soon and he needed to hurry.

Wasting no time, he moulded his chakra into a trick that he'd seen done only once back in the Elemental Nations and even then only in passing. It had been interesting enough that he'd put in some effort to learn it recently. He'd actually learned how to do it just because Hawkgirl had wings and it appealed to his sense of irony.

Thickly woven spider webbing erupted from his fingers and stuck to every surface to form a crude spider web, after which he threw the winged woman back first into the sticky substance.

"Now don't you just look delicious hanging there little fly, it makes me wish I had time to play with you." He told her with a grin, gave a lusty growl and clacked his teeth at her like one of those wind up toy jaws he'd seen the other day.

He'd never do it of course(unless she wanted him to), but he was setting himself up to be the bad guy here.

"You're disgusting." She spat angrily and struggled ineffectually against the super strong web.

"And you're cute, what's your point?" He shot back, much to her confusion.

Not giving her a chance to reply, he ran back towards the windows at great speed and launched himself into a flying kick just in time to plow into Superman's face, sending the so called Man of Steel flying back towards the other side of the street, though he managed to catch himself in the air before he slammed into any buildings.

He also left an invisible clone in the building to keep spraying webbing everywhere.

Not giving him time to react, he smashed into the man again and kicked him well away from the building where Hawkgirl was trapped.

"You can fly?" Clark asked, startled to see the horned man hovering in the air. With the way that the man had been jumping around, they'd all figured that he couldn't.

Naruto looked down at his feet with a comically shocked look and started plummeting like a brick, causing Superman to instinctively attempt catching him only to receive another fist to the face.

"I can't believe you actually fell for that, are you seriously that gullible?!" Naruto asked with incredulity while the kryptonian rubbed his jaw. Uzu's hits were nothing to sneeze at.

"Crap. Guys, me and Hawkgirl are stuck in some kind of spider webbing that Uzu created. We need someone to cut us out." Flash spoke over the radio, easily audible to Naruto as well as the Justice League.

Naruto grinned in amusement at the speedy one's predicament. He hadn't expected that anyone would just run right into the webbing. He'd left the clone there with the expectation that he would need to throw any more victims in there himself.

Superman made to go and cut out his comrades, but Naruto wasn't going to let that happen so easily and intercepted him with a much stronger kick than the ones before, making the kryptonian give a pained shout as he was sent blasting off into the distance.

Naruto wasn't worried about causing the guy any serious injury. He hadn't felt any ribs break under that hit despite flooding the first of the Eight Gates with chakra to empower himself to five times his normal strength.

Ever since eating the Chakra Fruit, he had all eight of the gates permanently open, but he could choose how much chakra to run through them. It was a far superior way to power up as compared to the uncontrolled power boost it had given him when he'd still been mortal. He hadn't tried it, but he felt that he could quite comfortably shatter planets if he used all eight gates to their fullest potential, but so far that single gate just now had been the biggest power up that he'd ever used.

It demonstrated that Superman definitely had impressive durability and was no doubt holding back a lot of power in most of his fights. It also showed that the man was kind of an idiot and far too prone to taking hits because he was so used to being invulnerable.

Spying the Green Lantern guy going towards the two webbed heroes, presumably to free them, Naruto propelled himself at the man, releasing a warcry with the specific intent of warning the man of his approach.

The man reacted instinctively and raised a green barrier to block his attack. It shuddered under the impact but held. Naruto was impressed. He'd powered down the first gate by now, but that hadn't been a light hit by any measure. He smashed his fist into it twice more, seeing the strain on the Green Lantern's face becoming greater with every blow.

Interesting, a ring that allowed its wearer to construct hard light objects sustained by their will. As long as the Lantern's will remained greater than the force behind his blows, the shield would hold.

Naruto had no more time to experiment with the interesting looking toy due to Wonder Woman attacking him. She smashed him right in the jaw, sending him flying a short distance away, but he was clearly uninjured if the grin on his face was any judge.

"I love it rough, how about you Thunder Tits?" He asked mockingly, knowing that it would remind her about her experience of being made Xanna's bitch. He'd actually let her hit him exactly for that reason.

Diana's face didn't betray the fact that she was indeed reminded of that. "Go free Hawkgirl and Flash, I will hold him off." She said to Lantern, never taking her eyes away from the horned blond.

"Not gonna happen." Naruto said mockingly and aimed a hand at the building where the two were trapped. "Kokuangyo no Jutsu(Bringer-of-Darkness Technique)."

The building became shrouded in darkness instantly and the radio echoed with exclamations about it from Flash.

Flying away from another attack by Wonder Woman, Naruto set down on a building with a flat roof, intending to have himself a little duel with the amazon while Lantern lost himself in the artificial darkness of the Genjutsu he'd cast earlier.

A short time later, Lantern also said something to the effect of being unable to pierce the darkness before the clone webbed him and knocked him out.

His desire for a duel with the amazon was curtailed by the return of Superman who set down next to Wonder Woman and prepared to fight him alongside her.

Naruto frowned in disapproval. He didn't want to fight both of them at once just yet. With this in mind, he leaped off the building, intending to once again vanish until he could take one of them out and fight the other alone. He rather unexpectedly felt himself getting shot in the back and knocked out of the sky by what he guessed was the laser canon of their small spacecraft as it was fired expertly by Batman.

He'd felt the bat themed hero's constant hostility towards him and dismissed it as irrelevant since the man had no means to actually act on it. Or so he had thought.

Shooting him in the back with a laser canon with no idea if he'd survive or not? That was impressively vicious for this gathering of pansies and he felt his respect for the grim hero go up a notch. Clearly he'd taken note of the systematic destruction of his team and decided that the chance of killing him was an acceptable risk in the situation.

Not that it did anything more than singe his hair and even that was fixed up soon enough, leaving the golden mane as shiny as ever. The first time he'd encountered the bat and his sidekicks, he'd been keeping his power and durability at a considerably lower level than it was now. Still, it was the first decent hit that they'd scored on him, for which he had to give due credit.

"He's set us up, we've been playing by his rules and he took us apart one by one. Don't let him separate you." Batman cautioned over the radio.

Naruto once again frowned at the advice that the bat gave to his comrades. That was the exact opposite of what he wanted.

With a sudden movement that allowed him no chance to react, Naruto aimed two fingers at Superman and shot a fork of lightning at him, causing the man to scream as the chakra based lightning bypassed his usual damage resistance and truly hurt him.

His attack was blocked when Diana interposed her bracers in the path of the lightning, drawing it to the metal objects and dissipating it harmlessly with their protective properties. Still, Superman was looking kind of extra crispy and wouldn't be an issue until his healing factor could repair the damage.

Wonder Woman looked furious and instantly chased after him as he leaped to another building, not even caring as he used magnetism to remove her earpiece and destroy it.

There was no time for amusing banter as the amazon threw herself at him with a flurry of attacks that showed clear martial arts training. Naruto had no trouble keeping up though, as she was still lacking something crucial despite her training. All of her movements were well executed, but she showed none of the improvisation or viciousness that could only be learned through life and death battle where any blunders could get you killed.

After a couple of minutes of Naruto easily evading or blocking her blows, she put too much force into one of her punches and the horned blond decided to take the opening for a change. He redirected her fist even further off course and then gave her shoulder a shove that sent her crashing over the edge of the building.

"You need a lot more practice in serious combat before fighting me in hand to hand." He commented idly. "Or maybe you're more of a lover than a fighter judging by how heavy Xanna's smell is on you."

Wonder Woman scowled at him angrily and tossed her lasso towards him.

Naruto allowed it to snare him, feeling curious about the glowing golden rope. The instant it was around him, he felt it's powers of truth compulsion working on him, which was worrisome if the amazon decided to ask any questions that would cause him to give up the game. Being stronger than the gods that created it, he was confident that he could overpower the compulsion if he wanted to, but that would almost certainly also reveal that he was lying, which would give up the game the same as the truth.

With this in mind, he strained against the rope mightily and felt rather shocked when it wouldn't give no matter how much he increased his strength. Clearly this rope was something that couldn't be broken by brute force, no matter how much of it was applied. Impressive. That could only mean that its strength was linked to its ability to force the truth out of people rather than anything physical.

"What have you done to the building in which Hawkgirl and Flash are trapped." Diana demanded.

"I placed an illusion over it that would blind anyone entering it." Naruto answered honestly.

"What do you intend to do after gaining Xanna's necklace?" The amazon demanded next, wanting to get some insight into his motivations.

"I intend to fuck her into next week." Naruto answered honestly, smirking. The rope might not let him outright lie, but it was entirely possible to tell the truth and allow whoever heard it to draw incorrect conclusions. This could actually be fun and he'd already figured out several ways to escape in case he didn't want to answer something.

Diana recoiled at the crude answer, but pressed on. "She said that you needed to kill her in order to gain the magatama necklace and the Yatta Mirror."

"That's not the only way." Very true. He could make his own or he could just take her necklace without killing her or he could even ask her to give it to him, useless prop that it was. Of course, he could _theoretically_ kill her before taking the necklace, but it would be by far the hardest option and probably require so much effort as to be nigh impossible.

"And she's far too beautiful to kill." Yet again very true, according to himself.

"You're sick." Diana said with a nauseated look on her face.

"I'd also like to fuck you from behind while making you eat my cum out of Xanna''s pussy in case you wanted to know." Naruto offered helpfully, taking full advantage of the fact that everything he said at the moment would be believed unquestioningly to air some perversions.

The amazon looked even more disgusted and deliberately tightened the rope painfully.

"So rough, people might think you're a sadist. Did you spank Xanna when you slept with her?" He knew that she wasn't a sadist, but people really might wonder if they saw this without knowing better. The second was neither a truth nor a lie, so he could say it with impunity.

"Be silent." She snarled angrily, her patience snapping under the weight of his provocation.

Naruto smirked and used some space-time manipulation to reverse their positions, leaving Diana bound in her own lasso and Naruto holding on to the other end.

"What color panties are you wearing?"

"I'm not wearing anything under my armor." Diana looked instantly horrified as the truth spilled out of her mouth against her will.

"On a scale of one to ten, how physically attractive do you find me?" He had to ask physically, as he was quite sure that he was a minus twelve in terms of personality because she thought he was all sorts of evil at the moment.

"Six."

Naruto grasped at his heart and adopted a stricken expression at the number. "Congratulations, this is the worst that I've been hurt in this battle so far. You got me right in the ego."

Not giving her a chance to reply, he yanked on the lasso and sent the amazon crashing right into the impenetrable darkness sustained by the illusion on the nearby building. She wasn't going to be making it out of there anytime soon thanks to his clone and she was sturdy enough that the impact wouldn't harm her.

Turning around, he aimed a smirk at the mostly recovered Superman that was now coming right at him. Contrary to his expectation, the kryptonian didn't stop to plant his feet on the ground, instead smashing right into him without stopping.

Clearly, Batman had told him about how durable he was, allowing him to fight with less restraint.

But Naruto was still sorely disappointed by the Man of Steel and his fighting ability. He fought like a berserker...only without the actual berserking. He didn't use his feet at all and every punch was telegraphed. Clearly this was someone used to simply overpowering his opponents because of his superior physiology. Naruto was actually kind of reminded of himself at the beginning of his shinobi career, back before he'd stolen Hashirama's fighting ability when he'd been mostly brawn and some clever tricks.

Getting bored of the mid air battle, he used one of Superman's fists as a handhold to swing himself around and smash him into the street below. Near instantly, Batman took the opportunity to fire the laser canon at him again now that there was nothing behind him in case he missed.

Naruto was ready for it this time though and used a Red Yang Barrier to deflect it upwards, after which he blew the Javelin away with a massively powerful wind.

Superman had just about dug himself out of the hole he'd been smashed into when Naruto's bare feet gently set down on the road and he commented to his opponent bluntly.

"Your fighting technique sucks, you should take lessons."

"I might do that later, but for now it'll be enough to take you down." Clark said confidently and prepared his heat vision, feeling sure that the horned man wouldn't be killed by it.

Naruto extended his hand and created a localized space-time distortion to catch the twin beams and absorb them. "You'll never accomplish anything if you don't attack me with intent to kill."

Of course, he very much doubted the entire Justice League would accomplish anything even if they did attack him with intent to kill, but that was besides the point. He wanted to see just how much Superman was holding back.

Seeing that his opponent was about to make some comment about his refusal to kill or something equally pithy, Naruto launched the trapped energy of the man's own heat vision back at him in the shape of a concentrated ball, sending the kryptonian crashing ass over teakettle down the street.

"Learn to dodge or at least block you moron, invulnerability is not a good reason to give the enemy free hits." He shouted after the red caped man, feeling strangely irritated by his idiotic combat doctrine. He was well aware of how hypocritical it was for him to be saying that considering his own former berserker tactics, but he didn't much care.

Superman didn't take too long to pick himself up since he wasn't really hurt by his own attack, but he did make a note not to try using the heat vision again. Deciding to use another power, he took a deep breath and exhaled his frost breath at the blond.

Naruto posed so that his hair and haori were blown around dramatically even though everything around him was covered in frost. "What a refreshing breeze! All this fighting was getting me terribly hot and bothered, so I thank you for cooling me off."

Superman's expression tightened in poorly concealed frustration. It had become obvious by now that he was being played with and baited. Uzu could have blasted him with lightning again already and ended it. In fact, he could have slaughtered the entire Justice league, but he'd left them all alive so far. Judging by his behavior during this entire time, he was feeling them out.

Naruto got bored of waiting for the kryptonian to make a move and attacked him in hand to hand, finding it pathetically easy to dominate the fight.

"Come on, put some effort into it you wimp! Or should I go after that cute cousin of yours next? Kara was it? I'm sure she'd be more fun than you." Naruto taunted, grinning when Superman's expression darkened and he started fighting more viciously.

His technique still sucked though and he did nothing but throw predictable punches, so it was easy to land a kick to the side of his knee and make his leg collapse to force him down on one knee. Before Superman had a chance to get back on his feet, a punch thundered into his jaw from above and smashed him into the ground.

Naruto sighed while the red caped man picked himself up again. It was beyond obvious that the kryptonian had never truly needed to develop any real fighting ability because he was so ridiculously powerful compared to everyone else he'd ever encountered and now it was coming to bite him in the ass.

"Man, I think I really will go and get your cousin if this keeps up, you're so _boring_."

Naruto was surprised by the speed at which the kryptonian smashed into him after he said that. He even ended up taking some pretty damn powerful punches! Of course the minor damage he suffered regenerated instantly and it was easy to retake control of the fight, but progress!

"I wonder, are you proud of what you do? Catching these criminals only to have them loose again soon after? Why do you even bother if you aren't going to put them down?" Naruto asked curiously as he fended off the red caped man's attack.

"I just catch them, it's not my place to decide their punishment." Clark stated firmly as he continued attacking to no effect.

Naruto frowned as the kryptonian's strength and speed diminished again. Seriously, take his mind away from his anger and he seemed to subconsciously hold back.

"How heartless of you. Did you know that there were enough murderers, rapists and pedophiles in Gotham to paint this entire block crimson before I got there? I wonder how many are in this city, walking free because they don't need to fear anything from you."

"You're the last person that has any right to pass judgement considering how many you've killed and the way you've been speaking to Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl makes you out to be a rapist yourself." Superman shot back angrily.

Naruto grinned viciously and grabbed both of Superman's hands to force a contest of strength. "Maybe I am, just imagine what I'll do to your cousin once I get my hands on her."

Superman growled and Naruto quickly felt his strength growing as anger overrode his usual restraint. He increased his own strength to match and continued provoking the kryptonian.

"I bet she smells nice."

"I wonder if the females of your species have maiden barriers?"

"Do you think she's a screamer?"

With every taunt, Superman kept growing more angry and exerting more force. By the time of Naruto's third sentence, he needed to have the third gate at nearly full capacity to match him, which was nothing to sneeze at.

"Stay away from my cousin!" Clark growled furiously, his eyes glowing red and clearly about to fire his heat vision right into Naruto's head.

"Are you going to cut my head off tough guy?" Naruto asked mockingly, trying to provoke him into doing exactly that. He wasn't sure if those eye lasers would even be able to singe his neck at this point, but it would be funny no matter what happened.

Contrary to what Naruto had intended, the taunt caused Superman to falter, realising just how close he was to intentionally killing someone. His strength started diminishing as he got control over his anger and that subconscious restraint came back.

Naruto scowled deeply, starting to get very pissed off with the kryptonian. Here he was, threatening to rape the man's cousin and he was _still_ holding back and unwilling to kill him? The fact that Supergirl was more likely to get a hug and all the help she wanted from him instead of being harmed was immaterial right now. He was threatening what was in essence the man's little sister with rape and he damn well expected to be turned into a bloody smear for it.

Naruto took the matter of little sisters very seriously.

Without warning he tugged on Superman's arms and surged forward simultaneously, sinking his fangs into the kryptonian's shoulder in a spray of blood. Superman screamed in pain at the unexpected injury and stumbled away, holding a hand to his bleeding shoulder.

Naruto bared his bloody teeth at the man and snarled viciously. Inwardly though, he was slightly confused as to why it had been so easy to bite through the man's skin. At least, he was confused until he remembered chewing on that hunk of kryptonite that Lex had tried to bribe him with. Some residue must have stayed on his teeth.

Not giving him any chance to recover, Naruto formed the black shakujo and started beating the crap out of Superman with it.

"What kind...of big brother...are you...if you aren't...even willing...to kill...for your...little sister!"

With every pause in his speech he slammed the chakra construct into the kryptonian. As far as Superman's durability was concerned that staff was a magical construct or something very close to it and was therefore highly effective. By the end of the sentence Superman was looking like...well, like a man that had gotten the shit beaten out of him with a staff.

Naruto arched an eyebrow at the beaten lump of kryptonian trying to get back on his feet, feeling perfectly justified in administering that beating.

"Superman!" A concerned female voice called in worry, causing Naruto to look upwards.

Seeing a blond girl in her late teens flying at him with clear intent to attack, Naruto easily recognized Supergirl.

"Supergirl NO! Stay back!" Superman shouted at her desperately despite the pain it caused his broken ribs, knowing that his headstrong cousin had no idea how hideously dangerous the horned man was. None of them had imagined that he would be this powerful.

Kara normally wouldn't have involved herself in the battles of the Justice League(at least not until she joined up herself), but there had been news reports of the battle in Metropolis and they'd all been saying that the Justice League was losing. That was the reason she'd put on her uniform and gone to help, despite knowing that her cousin wouldn't want her to.

In the time that it had taken for the teenaged superheroine to reach Naruto, he had already thought up a plan.

It was a devious plan, it was a cruel plan, it was a plan that would cause Superman massive amounts of mental anguish. It was a plan that Naruto(who was still pissed at the kryptonian for his failure to respond with lethal force when his little sister was threatened) liked a great deal.

Easily intercepting Supergirl's tiny fist, Naruto manifested chains to bind her limbs. Chains which were far too strong for her to break.

"Let her go!" Clark wheezed, only to receive a jab in the gut with the shakujo, sending him crashing back to the ground.

"Stop it, leave him alone!" Kara demanded and struggled against the chains.

Instead of saying anything, Naruto pressed his palm into Supergirl's bared midriff, causing a complex seal to spread across her body and then fade into invisibility until only a small spiral remained around her belly button. Kara's eyes fluttered closed as she suddenly felt all the strength leaving her until she slumped into unconsciousness, at which point Naruto slung her over his shoulder.

"What did you do to her?" Superman demanded as strongly as he was capable in his beaten up condition, which was not very strongly at all.

"Nothing much, I just sealed away her power. She'll be less troublesome this way." Shikamaru would have approved...or maybe not, all things considered.

"Let her go...please." Clark pleaded, knowing that it was the only thing he could do. He was too beaten up to try taking his cousin by force.

"You had your chance to save her and you chose to keep your conscience clean instead, I hope you enjoy it." Naruto responded uncaringly. "But don't worry, I'll take real good care of your cute cousin."

He meant it too, he fully intended to keep Kara as safe and comfortable as possible for the few days that she would be in his keeping. He might even teach her a thing or two about fighting if she wanted to learn. Of course, the lewd inflection with which he said it wasn't very comforting for Superman, nor was the way that he patted her backside when he said it.

Predictably, the kryptonian tried to attack him in a last ditch attempt to save his cousin only to get brained with the shakujo.

"You really need to work on being less predictable." Naruto told him with a sigh and vanished with a distortion of air, Supergirl slung over his shoulder.

Superman's shout of anguished denial was heard very far indeed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_That was very cruel husband._ Xanna commented casually and without disapproval, having been observing the whole spectacle.

_I've got a thing about people who don't protect their little sisters properly._ Naruto responded, now holding the unconscious girl in a far more gentle bridal style carry.

_You don't say?_

_I'm not sure if sarcasm is your thing my dear._

_Husband, you should know better by now. I am a goddess, EVERYTHING is my thing if I choose to make it so._ Xanna fired back with overpowering arrogance and a great deal of amusement.

_I bow to your superior logic._ He deadpanned.

_So, what are you going to do with that little one now that you've stolen her away?_ Xanna asked curiously, redirecting the conversation. Naruto had done it more or less on impulse, so she didn't know what he had in mind.

_I think I'm going to get Pamela and that friend of hers, along with Priscilla and take the lot of them on a vacation to a tropical island somewhere while Super Panties tortures himself with mental images of his cousin being raped. Maybe that'll help him figure out that there are more important things in life than keeping your conscience clean._ Naruto explained.

_Indeed, that would be quite the lesson._ Xanna commented humorously. _Don't take too long though, this space station is boring and I'm not willing to stay up here for any longer than a few more days._

_That's perfect, because I'm not willing to be separated from you for any longer than a few more days._ Naruto responded.

_Then we are in agreement._

_By the way Xanna..._ Naruto started with a sly tone of voice.

_Yes?_

_You didn't get more pussy than me_. He teased.

_Oh grow up. _Xanna huffed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**There we go, chapter four is finished!**

**I think I'll be finishing this crossover in the next chapter, unless I suddenly develop some new idea that I could stick into it without dragging it out pointlessly, but it's probably not going to happen.**

**I look forward to reading your opinions xD.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Random Reviewer: I wasn't aware that I've given my stories the ability to force people to read them, that's pretty damn amazing! I wonder if I can give them the ability to make chocolate pudding next? xD**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The atmosphere in the Watchtower meeting room was tense, very tense. It had been no more than an hour ago that Uzu had unequivocally kicked their asses, most of them without even throwing a single punch. Green Lantern, Hawkgirl and Flash felt particularly ashamed, having been beaten without even a fight in the case of Hawkgirl or walking into a trap for the other two.

But that was not the reason for the tenseness. Oh no, that was caused by the uncharacteristically murderous air around Superman.

Well, everyone except Xanna was tense, the horned goddess herself was trying not to look like she was amused by all this pointless mental agony. Especially when she considered that her husband was probably just about getting settled in some hyper luxurious hotel in a remote part of the world where he was going to pamper the hell out of the 'poor kidnapped rape victim'.

The kryptonian was glaring at the table in front of him and looked as if he was barely restraining himself from burning a hole through it. The injuries that Uzu had inflicted on him hadn't fully healed yet, but he refused to stay in the infirmary.

"Why is it taking me so long to heal?" He ground out through clenched teeth, frustrated that he couldn't be out there searching for his cousin yet.

"There is some residual kryptonite radiaton in the bite wound, it is slowing down your healing factor." J'onn said stoically.

"Are you telling me that Uzu has teeth made of _kryptonite_?" Flash asked incredulously.

"No, Clark would be dead in that case. More likely, Uzu was chewing on a piece of kryptonite before we fought him." Batman stated bluntly.

Flash didn't make any comments on that, despite the joke about dental floss that came to mind, seeing that Superman was not in the mood to listen to anything that didn't involve finding his cousin.

"Have you or J'onn found anything at all on where he might have taken Kara?" Clark demanded impatiently.

"Nothing, he's vanished the same as before and even if we did find him, we're in no shape to fight him right now." Batman answered.

"So you're saying that we should just let him have her?" Superman spat angrily, glaring at the other man.

"No, I'm saying that we can't let him pick the battlefield or this is just going to happen again. When we fight him next we need to be ready." Bruce said, glaring back at the kryptonian.

"And how long will that take? What's going to happen to-" Superman spat angrily but cut himself off before he finished the sentence, the thought of what his cousin might be going through at this very moment causing his guts to twist in anguish.

"Calm down, it's possible that nothing will happen to your cousin and that Uzu only took her to bait you." Batman said.

"What?" Superman asked, startled. The rest of the Justice League plus Xanna looked similarly startled.

"Uzu has been killing the worst criminals in Gotham for weeks but he's always been especially cruel to the rapists, so he might have just been pushing your buttons." Batman explained.

Everyone started looking more hopeful, Superman in particular looked remarkably like a puppy begging for a treat. Xanna was actually surprised that anyone picked up on that little detail considering how much effort Naruto had put into presenting himself as the scum of the earth.

"Are you sure?" Superman asked desperately, grasping at any reason to believe that Kara wouldn't be hurt.

"No," Batman bluntly shattered his hopes, not being one to sugarcoat a bad situation. "I said it was a possibility. It's equally possible that he was just doing that because he felt like it. Plenty of those he killed had no criminal record and his behaviour ever since his appearance has been pretty inconsistent. But what you say he said to you while he was beating you up indicates that there is at least a chance that he won't hurt her."

Superman went back to looking anguished and enraged, once again glaring at the table and willing himself to heal faster so that he could go search for his cousin. A 50/50 chance that his cousin wasn't helpless in the hands of a rapist wasn't very reassuring.

"I don't suppose you could offer any insight on this?" Green Lantern aimed his question at Xanna.

"Nothing new I'm afraid, Uzu was always unpredictable and no one has ever managed to fully understand his motivations." Xanna answered. That much was true even. Naruto always left people scratching their heads in confusion over his actions.

Though she did have to restrain herself from facepalming. Naruto's slip up about the importance of little sisters because he was pissed at Superman for not trying to kill him had nearly given up the game.

"What about the magic he used? Do you know of any way to counter it?" Diana questioned next.

"I do, but I must caution you that it isn't magic in the same way that you are used to." She answered.

"What do you mean?" Shayera asked curiously. "My mace disrupts magic and it worked just fine on those chains."

"We call it chakra, it is a combination of the energies of body and spirit."

"So if it isn't magic, then why did Hawkgirl's mace work on it and why was it able to hurt Superman?" Batman asked, hoping to find a way to counter it, especially if he could duplicate it.

"I can only guess that it was the spiritual part of chakra that explains both, the physical half of chakra gives substance and the spiritual half gives form. I would surmise that Shayera's mace disrupted the spiritual energies giving form to the chains, leaving the energy of body to dissipate into nothing without a form to give substance to. Similarly, Clark seems invulnerable to anything physical aside from kryptonite, but since the lightning and the shakujo that Uzu used are partly spiritual it got through that invulnerability." Xanna explained, getting understanding nods from everyone.

Of course, she didn't let them know that it was fully within Naruto's ability to prevent such a thing from repeating itself now that he'd experienced it once.

"And the counter?" Batman prodded.

"Me." She said shortly. "I am the only other chakra user present and my Yatta Mirror will allow me to block any ranged attacks, leaving only physical and indirect attacks for you to worry about. Though the Green Lantern ring may also be effective as a way to block him."

"So you're going to need to fight him with us?" John asked, cleching the fist with the ring on it, remembering the force behind Uzu's punches. He knew that he wouldn't be able to take a sustained attack like that, but it was reassuring to know that it would work.

"It seems I have little choice in the matter, but I will only be able to defend you as my skill with chakra manipulation is not as great as his and I have no martial arts training." It was greater in fact, but the second part was true at least.

"I thought you said that Uzu only gained these powers because he chose to walk the Outer Path?" Batman asked suspiciously, seeing some inconsistency in her story.

"What he has used against you so far were not the powers of the Outer Path, merely regular chakra powers available to any of my people with sufficient training...though as a Sage of Six Paths, Uzu is naturally more powerful in the art than most anyone else. The Outer Path deals in the manipulation of the border between life and death, such as resurrection and the calling of undead to fight for him...for a price."

"He can bring the dead back to life?" Diana asked, stunned just like everyone else.

"Yes, it was because of this that I had to flee, he had reincarnated a group of long dead heroes to fight for him and we had no means by which to stop them." Xanna confirmed, inwardly snorting at the creative bent to the truth.

"Why hasn't he used that against us yet then?" Batman asked, still suspicious.

"He likely considers you to be so beneath him as to make such extreme measures unneeded. From what I understand, those powers carry a heavy price and require considerable preparation." She explained, hoping that he would drop it already. This paranoid suspicion that Batman had going for him was starting to irritate her, even if he was right to be suspicious of her.

"What about the way he absorbed my heat vision and sent it back at me?" Superman asked, wanting as much of an advantage as possible for the next encounter.

Xanna faked a look of surprised interest when she spoke next. "Did he use any other special power except for elemental manipulation?"

"He created some kind of very strong spider webbing to trap us." Shayera said.

"That is likely a form of sub-element the same as his ability to manipulate plants, though not one I have ever heard of." Xanna said dismissively.

"He switched positions with me when I had him caught in my lasso." Diana said, recalling the moment when she suddenly found herself bound by her own rope.

"I see, that sounds like direct space-time manipulation, as I thought. A very dangerous ability and one that was long thought lost."

"He also said that he sealed away Kara's power." Superman informed.

"Fuinjutsu, a powerful art in the hands of a master. I truly have no choice but to help you fight him, he has grown much more powerful than he was when I fled from him. Had I known he was this strong already I would likely not have bothered coming here." Xanna said with a despondent sigh, seemingly losing hope in their chances.

"But this means that we can choose the battlefield." Bruce said contemplatively, setting his suspicions aside for now, though he intended to keep an eye out for treachery. "If Xanna is out in the open, then we can make him come to us and that's going to count for a lot. We can win."

"Then we'll do that as soon as I'm healed." Superman said firmly, not wanting to waste even a single moment. The things that his cousin might be going through right now didn't bear thinking of.

The rest of the League agreed whole-heartedly. They didn't want Kara to be held captive by that man for even a moment longer than necessary. His behavior during their battle left all of them with a deep unease about what he might do to the poor girl.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kara In-Ze drifted sluggishly back into consciousness, feeling weak and somehow _heavy_.

The first thing she noticed was that the bed she was lying on was deliciously, sinfully comfortable. The sheets were made of some kind of incredibly high quality material that seemed to be designed specifically to feel good and the temperature of the room was at that exact point where it made you want to stay where you were. Additionally there was a gentle breeze blowing through the room that brought in an intoxicatingly relaxing scent of nature, of forest and ocean.

It was a struggle not to sluggishly drift back to sleep to say the least.

Only the resurfacing memory of seeing her cousin getting the tar beaten out of him by a huge horned man and trying to save him only to get captured with negligent ease snapped her out of the indolent daze.

Sitting up in the large bed, Kara rubbed at her face to shake off the last vestiges of sleepiness.

She was relieved to note that her clothes hadn't been changed even though there was another set laid out for her on the nearby table. She ignored those as she got out of the bed and looked around.

She was obviously not at home, which must mean that she'd been captured. But if that was so, then this was the nicest dungeon ever conceived of. She had expected that the bad guys would keep their prisoners in a gloomy, damp cave somewhere, not in the most decadently luxurious room she'd ever imagined.

_Maybe they're hoping I won't want to leave?_ She thought to herself wryly.

A glance out of the open window had already revealed that it was a tropical island of some sort. Her first idea upon seeing that open window was to fly out of it and back home, but found much to her distress that her feet refused to leave the ground.

That sense of heavyness was brought back to the forefront of her mind and she realised that gravity wasn't just a suggestion that she could ignore at will anymore. Desperately trying her other powers, she found that heat vision and frost breath didn't work anymore either. A grab of the underside of the large and heavy bed revealed that her strength was no longer up to lifting something that should have been trivial.

She was relieved to note that X-ray vision at least seemed to be working, but that relief soon faded when she saw Uzu, along with Poison Ivy and two unknown blonde women sitting around a table one floor beneath her and apparently playing a card game. All three women were wearing light and airy white clothing and looked remarkably relaxed considering they were in the company of a man known for killing several hundred people.

Since X-ray vision had worked, she figured her super hearing would too and she focused on their conversation.

"...have to be cheating!" Poison Ivy was saying insistently.

"Sorry, but no." Uzu responded with an amused grin. "I've just always had ridiculous luck with games of chance."

"Whatever, I just wish sleeping beauty would wake up already so that we can go to the beach. This place is too neat to waste time playing card games." The younger of the two blonde's grumbled and Kara was startled to recognise the voice of Harley Quin. The woman looked so different that she hadn't been able to identify her at first, even her speech patterns were different.

Though Kara figured that with the Joker dead, it was only natural that some changes would happen to her.

"Don't worry about that, she just woke up and is eavesdropping on us as we speak." Uzu revealed casually, startling Kara and making her nervously look around for monitoring devices.

"There's no cameras in the room if that's what you're thinking Kara, I'm just able to sense you." Uzu said, seemingly to himself but Kara knew it was aimed at her.

"Are you sure she's awake?" Poison Ivy asked sceptically. "It just looks like you're talking to yourself."

Uzu sighed and aimed a disappointed look at the redhead. "Oh ye of little faith."

"Are you going to smite me for it?" She snarked back with a smirk.

"I'm not much into smiting." Uzu said back wryly. "I might spank you though."

Kara could see the redhead's pale cheeks go pink at the obvious insinuation even as she responded. "Pervert."

"You know it."

There was a moment of silence before Uzu spoke again. "So are you coming down here anytime today Kara? Nobody is going to hurt you and I'm sure you must be confused."

Seeing as she didn't really have any other choice, Kara cautiously made her way down.

When she finally made it to them, she did something between glaring defiantly and shifting nervously, feeling vulnerable without most of her powers.

"Good morning Kara." Naruto greeted pleasantly. "I'm sure you've already recognized Pammy and Harleen." He gestured to Poison Ivy and Harley as he said this.

Pamela gave him a dirty look at being called Pammy but didn't object, but Harley was less restrained. "You know I don't like my given name, don't I get a nickname?"

"Alright Peaches, I won't call you Harleen anymore." Naruto responded agreeably.

She rolled her eyes but didn't protest. As far as nicknames go, it could be worse.

She'd been rather terrified of him ever since he'd killed the Joker as if it was no big deal but Ivy had managed to talk her out of the worst of her anxiety by now. When he'd first approached them with this offer of a vacation in a tropical paradise she'd been silently begging her friend to refuse because of that fear and had then spent an hour just keeping her head down and hoping he would ignore her. The past two hours spent playing games with him had allowed her to see that he really was as nice as Red had been saying he was. He was still monstrously dangerous, but she could understand that he wasn't dangerous to _her_.

Surprisingly, she'd only felt a brief sense of resentment against him for killing the Joker and even that was completely overshadowed by relief. Granted, she'd have probably gone completely crazy if Red hadn't been there for her, but with the mad clown dead she felt more free than she had felt in years.

"And this over here is Priscilla, though you probably know her better as Cheetah." He finished, gesturing to the somewhat older blonde woman that looked to be in her early thirties.

Kara aimed a disbelieving look at the woman, unable to reconcile her with the animal hybrid villainess.

"I think you broke her." Priscilla quipped, rather enjoying the shocked look on the young superheroine.

"But how can this be Cheetah, she's not...well, a cheetah!"

"I turned her back." Naruto explained with a shrug.

Kara took a deep breath and got control of herself, not wanting to let Uzu dictate the flow of events. "I won't cooperate you know, no matter how nice you make my prison look Uzu."

Naruto scratched at his face and thought of the best way to approach this. He'd figured that she would be the stubborn type but it really would be preferable if she didn't sulk for the entire vacation. "My name is Naruto actually, Uzumaki Naruto. Uzu is just something I made up to make myself seem more alien and mysterious to you hero types."

Kara continued glaring with her arms crossed, looking quite mulish.

"Girls, I think you might as well head to the beach without us. This looks like it might take a while." He said wryly to the other three women.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have us stay and help? It might be easier that way." Priscilla asked with an arched eyebrow, easily seeing how stubborn Supergirl was intending to be.

"Nah, I've got this. Besides, I'm the one that kidnapped her, so it's only fair that I handle this." Naruto waved off.

"Don't take too long now, I'm going to want a massage soon." Pamela said teasingly as they left, surprising Kara quite a bit, as she could clearly recall the redhead being far less cheerful from their limited interaction in the past.

Pamela had been a bit dubious about his offer of a vacation at first, especially given his rather insane plan of kidnapping Supergirl to go along with them, but since she had nothing better to do she had figured what the hell. She hadn't been expecting something this luxurious and was glad that she accepted. It might even help her clear her head enough to figure out what she wanted to do with her life from now on. Sticking around in Gotham and getting into fights with Batman seemed kind of stupid and counterproductive.

"Have a seat." Naruto offered once they were alone.

"I'll stand." Kara snarked, mostly just to be contrary.

"I know you said you won't cooperate," Naruto began, sounding amused. "but there really is nothing for you to cooperate with, which means that there is also nothing for you to be rebellious about."

"What do you mean?" She asked in wary confusion.

"I mean, that my purpose for your cousin is achieved just by your presence here. I just figured that I might as well make it as pleasant as possible for you." He explained.

"And what 'purpose' do you have for my cousin?" Kara asked tersely.

"When I picked that fight with the League earlier I just wanted to let them know that they needed to step their game up if they wanted to beat me and I did everything I could to provoke them into trying to kill me. While I was fighting your cousin however, something came up that made me really angry and then you came flying in and I decided to kidnap you on impulse because of that anger."

Seeing that the girl was listening intently despite her intention to be difficult, Naruto continued explaining.

"I could see that he was holding back a lot of his strength subconsciously, which I will admit is probably a good thing considering how much stronger he is than the average human, but I wanted to see just how strong he really was. To that end I started threatening that I was going to rape you if he didn't entertain me."

Seeing her start to look alarmed and fearful at hearing this Naruto quickly moved to reassure her. "Don't worry, I'd never do something like that, I just said it to provoke him."

Kara calmed down somewhat, but still looked a lot more tense than before.

"What got me really angry was that he could already see that I was stronger than him, that I was playing with him and he had a perfect chance to kill me, but he didn't take it." Naruto explained before continuing wryly. "Not that it would have actually killed me, but he didn't know that."

"Clark isn't a killer and he won't become one just because you were provoking him." Kara said fiercely.

"His silly morals are his own business, if he wants to play kiddie games with the bad guys that's his problem. What made me angry was that I was threatening to rape you and he was losing the fight so that must have been a real concern to him, but he still couldn't muster the will to attempt killing me for it when he had the chance." Naruto retorted with a scowl.

"He thinks that you kidnapped me and that you're raping me right now?" She asked, going pale as she realised the situation.

"That's the idea." The horned blond confirmed.

"I have to get back to him, tell him that I'm alright." She said desperately, looking around as if a way home would reveal itself. She knew that Clark had to be going crazy considering how overprotective he was at the best of times.

"I'm afraid that's not going to be happening. I'm going to make your cousin worry himself sick for at least a few days before I let you go back to him."

"But why? Why would you do this to him?" She demanded, both angry and desperate.

"I don't think you understand the situation sweetie." Naruto said mildly, ignoring her scowl at the endearment. "If I had actually been as much of a bastard as I was pretending to be, then you would be chained naked to a bed right now instead of having this conversation with me. Super Panties couldn't have known that I wouldn't actually do anything to you, but the threat didn't seem real to him until it was too late. I have no doubt that he would have tried to kill me now if the same situation repeated itself, but you don't get second chances to protect your loved ones. He hesitated to destroy a threat against his family because he was afraid of getting his hands dirty. For the kind of crap I was telling him, I expected him to rip my heart out, set me on fire and piss on the ashes, instead of that he hesitated, hesitated to protect you. That's why I'm making him suffer through the next few days in the belief that I'm doing exactly what I told him I'd do."

Kara's defiance left her bit by bit as he continued speaking. She loved Clark and admired his determination not to kill, but hearing what she could have been going through because he'd hesitated to use lethal force made her feel sick. The threat of rape had never really registered as a concern to her because she was so powerful, but all of that power was gone now, leaving her weak and vulnerable.

Peripherally she was aware that Naruto had probably done that on purpose to drive the point home as much as it was to keep her from escaping, but it hardly mattered in the end.

"Don't worry too much, I'll take you back to your cousin in a few days and the worst that will come of this will be that he's probably going to be a bit overzealous about your protection for a while, but hopefully it'll teach him that some convenient third option that lets him both protect what he wants to protect and keep his hands clean in the process won't always exist." Naruto said soothingly, her lost puppy expression making him want to comfort her.

Kara sank into one of the previously offered chairs, abandoning any effort at being difficult since it wouldn't make any difference.

"Why do you care anyway? You don't even know me, why is it so important to you if he's willing to kill to protect me or not?" She asked with a lot less fire in her voice than before.

"I had three little sisters once, not blood related to me, but they were still my little sisters..."Naruto said nostalgically.

"Had?" Kara asked hesitantly, getting the feeling that this story didn't have a happy ending.

"All three of them were soldiers, but they were important assets to the organization they belonged to, so the chance of them dying in the line of duty was low. I used to be part of the same ogranization and I was an even more indispensable asset, which is also the reason why I had people after my head."

Kara leaned in closer, obviously interested and it made Naruto grin slightly to see her intent face.

"They were some of the most dangerous men alive, but I was stronger than them and I didn't really take them seriously because of that. I was born into that life and never had any real choice about being a soldier or not, but I had much bigger ambitions in mind and no loyalty for anyone other than the woman that later became my wife. Because of this I mostly did my own thing, fighting and killing my pursuers only when they came to me instead of hunting them down and killing them the way I should have."

Naruto half expected her to object somehow to the last part but she was apparently too interested in the story to argue.

"Eventually something happened that made me abandon that organization, after which my wife and I went on our honeymoon and more or less forgot about the group of idiots that were killing themselves in their attempts to capture me. That was a mistake, because they eventually found a way to steal my wife away and nearly killed her. I managed to save her by the skin of my teeth but with their last gasp they brought back to life a man that was stronger than me, forcing me to hide."

"My three little sisters and one big sister had their own lives and didn't want to go into hiding with me and I didn't want to force them. Not long after that, Madara-that was the guy they resurrected by the way-attacked them. By the time I got there it was too late, my big sister and a friend were already dead and my little sisters were being used as hostages to force me into surrender."

"He had me trapped, because if I surrendered to him, it would kill my wife and if I didn't I would lose my sisters. But those stupidly brave girls saw it and they wouldn't let him win. They knew that if I gave in that Madara would enslave the world with no chance of escape so I had to watch as they killed themselves right in front of me to spare me the choice, because they loved me."

At this point Kara was starting to get a little misty eyed and unthinkingly grabbed his hand in a show of support, much to Naruto's surprise. She was a much nicer girl than he'd expected, which only confirmed his decision to give her cousin some mental torture for his failure to protect her.

"Don't worry, that was over ten years ago and I've made my peace with it. I always knew that I would outlive them and I know that they're alright where they are." He reassured her. "But there you have it, I was screwing around instead of taking a threat seriously and I lost them because of it. Now it really rubs me the wrong way if I see someone else doing the same thing. I should have been the one protecting them but in the end they chose to die to protect me, because I didn't take a threat seriously."

"What happened to Madara?" She asked, even though she was fairly sure that Naruto had killed him.

"I trapped his soul into a crystal and made him suffer absolute sensory deprivation for about nine years or so. By the time I let him out he was so insane that it took him six months just to blunder into the afterlife and I still think he only managed that by accident." Naruto admitted.

"How could you know that?" Kara asked with her nose scrunched cutely in confusion. Naruto manfully pushed down the urge to hug her.

"I keep telling people that I'm a god but nobody seems to believe me." He told her mildly.

"Barbara told me about that, we both thought you were just on a power trip." Kara admitted, remembering to let go of his hand. "But she also said that you're a huge pervert and you're not acting much like it."

"Oh I am a huge pervert, but I was only perving on Barbara to wind her up for the most part. If I had seriously wanted to seduce her I wouldn't have been so heavy handed about it, not to mention that she's a bit young for my tastes." Naruto said with an amused grin.

"Does that mean that I'm too young for you too?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, knowing that Barbara was a bit older than her.

"Definitely." He grinned. "How about you forget about your uptight cousin and be my little sister instead?"

"I think I'll pass but thanks for the offer." She said dryly.

Kara could hardly believe how much different he was in comparison to what she'd heard. His methods might be very harsh but he actually meant well. She still wasn't okay with his rampant killing but after hearing that heart wrenching story about the way he lost his little sisters she couldn't bring herself to give him grief over it. She still wasn't sure what to make of the fact that he had a trio of villainesses keeping him company but figured she would find out soon enough.

"Would you like to go to the beach now? I did bring you here to give you a vacation after all. Just because I've brought you here against your will is no reason not to enjoy yourself." He reasoned.

"It feels wrong to have fun here while Clark is worrying himself sick over me." Kara admitted. "Couldn't I just call him to tell him that I'm alright?"

"Let me just point out that Clark will worry himself sick whether you have fun or not, as he should, and calling him would defeat the point, not to mention that it would give the game away." Naruto said dryly.

"What game?" She asked in confusion.

"Oh right, I haven't told you about that yet. Well, let me tell you about what kind of ideas two bored gods might get if they had an outsider's perspective on this world..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto grinned at the scowling, angry teenager that was reclining on a beach chair next to his with her arms crossed. It was cute.

Kara hadn't been too impressed with his tale of how the Justice League was being fucked with and he had subsequently lost most of the sympathy points that their earlier conversation had engendered.

He'd managed to convince her that she should change her clothing, so she was no wearing the same type of airy clothing that the other three women were, along with a two piece bathing suit under it, but she had categorically refused to stop sulking ever since he'd finished revealing everything. The fact that he had made sure that she knew that he was blocking any and all ways of contacting the League hadn't helped her disposition.

"Nothing has changed you know. The only difference is that you know about it." Naruto pointed out.

"Exactly, now I know what an ass you are to play with people's lives like this." She snarked back.

"It's not as if it's going to be hurting anybody." He reasoned bemusedly.

"Yeah, except the hundreds of people you've killed so far." Kara snipped, focusing on another sore point.

"Trust me when I tell you that the world is better off without them." He said with calm certainty.

"And what gives you the right to decide that?" She demanded.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, sensing that another philosophical discussion was looming, but he grinned and replied in a way that he knew would provoke her. "Might makes right."

Kara gaped at him incredulously and spluttered out a response. "What kind of stone age reasoning is that?!"

"It's the same reasoning that the world has always worked on, the same reasoning that it still works on." He countered.

"No it doesn't! Society is based on a code of morals not on the fact that whoever is the strongest gets to decide what's right and what isn't." She insisted.

"Really?" Naruto drawled sarcastically.

"Yes, really!"

"Alright then, let me argue that point."

She impatiently gestured for him to do so, certain that she would win this argument.

"Take your average criminal, he performs a crime that according to this moral code that society is supposedly based on is immoral and then he hides the fact that he committed a crime. Why does he hide?" He asked her and continued before she could say anything. "And yes, I know that laws and morals are a different thing, but they coincide on most points."

Kara frowned in thought as she answered. "Because if he doesn't, the police will arrest him."

"So the police enforce the law, which is based on a moral code? Basically, the police enforce what is deemed 'right' by society?"

"Yes." She nodded in agreement.

"Alright, now take your average supervillain, which the police are unable to stop. Someone like the recently deceased Livewire for example. Her lightning powers would make almost certain that the police wouldn't be able to stop her. What happens in that case?"

"Well...a superhero like my cousin would stop her."

"So, Superman would enforce the law in place of the police who have suddenly found themselves powerless?"

"Yes..." Kara said with some uncertain confusion, getting the feeling that this was all leading up to something.

"And what happens when someone like me comes along, someone that no superhero currently making Earth their home can bring down?"

"They'd find a way." Kara asserted.

"You're dodging the question sweetie." Naruto pointed out, grinning as she once again scowled at the endearment.

"Don't call me that." She grumbled. "I guess you'd win and be able to do whatever you want."

"So...the police are stronger than the average criminal, supervillains are generally stronger than the police and superheroes are generally stronger than supervillains, which means that the system works...sort of. But when someone comes along that's too powerful to be beaten, he can ignore that flimsy moral code and do as he pleases, because nobody can force him to respect it."

"I guess, but that doesn't make what you're doing right, it just makes you strong." She grumbled again.

"If I wanted to, I could bring the world to its knees and make a new moral code that says all rapists should be burned alive, or I could say that all women are forbidden to wear clothes and either way nobody would be able to say I'm wrong because they don't have the strength to contest it. Eventually, no matter what kind of screwed up system I put in place, it would become normal and nobody would even wonder anymore whether it's right or wrong. That's the way that society gets established, the strongest person or group of people lay down a set of laws and force everyone else to obey them and if they don't they send their enforcers to make them."

Kara looked like she really wanted to argue, but couldn't come up with anything convincing to say against his words. "It still doesn't make it right, power isn't the only thing that's important."

"Yeah, wouldn't it be wonderful if you could rely on everyone to have some basic decency so that you didn't need to have a stick constantly hanging over them to keep them in line?" Naruto asked with dry sarcasm. "There wouldn't even be any need for police or armies in that case!"

The teenaged superheroine glared at the horizon in lieu of having an argument for that.

"Did you know that Xanna and I briefly visited other parts of this world before deciding to play our game with the Justice League?" He asked suddenly, getting a curious look from the teenaged superheroine. "I have no idea what country it was because I wasn't really paying attention but there was a criminal trial going on and I was curious enough to look in on it. Apparently some guy threw acid on a woman because she refused to sleep with him."

"Please don't tell me you threw acid on him for it?" Kara said almost desperately, despite cringing in sympathy for the woman. She thought that she remembered hearing something about an incident like this on the news several weeks ago and she really hoped that Naruto hadn't been the one to do it.

"No, he was already going to be convicted for it so I left him alone despite my knee jerk reaction to do exactly that." Naruto said with a frown and continued. "No, what really pissed me off was the fact that there were plenty of other people in the courtroom and I was able to sense that several of the older men actually seemed to think that the guy did nothing wrong."

Kara's brief reassurance evaporated, as this was starting to match up to that news report.

"_Those_ guys I threw acid on, lots of it. They didn't seem to think it was all that great when it was happening to them." He finished cynically and continued with a slightly bitter tone of voice. "Of course, I later heard that the guy's rich father got him out of jail within a week, so I went back to melt both of them and the people that the father bribed too."

Kara said nothing to that, just hugged herself and turned away. These kind of displays of cruelty were way beyond what she had ever faced and it made her stomach turn. She couldn't in all honesty say that they didn't deserve it on some level, but she really believed that there had to be a better way.

Naruto grimaced when he looked at the slightly shaking girl. He honestly hadn't meant for the conversation to drift into this kind of direction.

"Basically I'm just trying to point out that people with power of any kind, either physical, financial or political can get away with a lot that the regular person can't. The only difference between them is that people with physical power are honest about it." He said and then continued on lighter tone, trying to steer things away from the dark topic. "I did manage to heal that woman, so she isn't going to have any scarring at least, but Xanna more or less dragged me out of there before I ended up getting too acid happy since we hadn't come to this world to try annihilating all evil."

"Do these things really make you so angry that you have to respond with even more cruelty? You can't fight evil by doing evil you know." She said quietly.

"Maybe not." He admitted with a sigh. "But it's a problem for me when I can sense people's suffering and I'm not a huge believer in forgiveness. I don't see the use in trying to imprison people or bothering with the slow and sometimes ineffective justice system when I can smell the rot on their bones."

"What do you mean you can sense people's suffering?" She asked curiously.

"I can feel the emotions of every sentient being around me." He explained and gestured to the three women in the water. "Peaches is feeling a bit bored and mischievous right now and is probably going to throw water on Pammy soon. Pammy and Kitten are feeling relaxed and content, almost sleeping in fact."

Kara looked at the three when he gestured, seeing that Ivy and Priscilla were sunbathing on inflatable rafts as they drifted about in the water, while Harley was doing an imitation of a shark as she swam towards Ivy and did indeed splash the plant manipulator, startling her out of her light doze and making her fall off the raft.

She had to stifle a giggle at the sight. It was hard to imagine the three women as criminals when they were like this.

"Do you have any idea what Gotham feels like to me? It's like a septic tank that starts leaking as soon as the sun goes down, or it used to at least. People started keeping their heads down once it became known that I was on the warpath. Everywhere I went I could feel people with evil intentions going around, or I could feel someone suffering because they were targeted by those people and many of them aren't too intimidated by Batman anymore because they know he doesn't kill. The world that I was raised in emphasized decisive action and I was pretty extreme even by those standards, so my first reaction when I come across these things is always going to be violence."

"You mean you can actually _feel_ it when people suffer." Kara asked in disbelief.

"I get a vague sense of what is happening and I can judge how bad it is by the intensity of the emotions that people give off." He explained.

Kara couldn't help a shudder at that. She couldn't say with all honesty that she would have been able to stop herself from reacting more viciously than normal if she was literally able to feel the way that people suffered. She was glad that she didn't have an ability like that, because she wasn't sure if she could have handled it.

"To be honest, I needed this vacation too. I've spent too much time lately in that kind of depressing environment. Xanna tells me that I'll learn not to care eventually and that's a pretty scary thought all by itself, though I'm not sure if she's right. She was never mortal and doesn't have much in the way of empathy for mortals as a result."

The much smaller of the two blond's bit her lip and tentatively decided to try and stop judging him. She still didn't agree with his extermination policy and never would, but it was obvious that he wasn't evil, he just had a more extreme opinion on proper punishment for crime to go along with his more acute sense for how bad some people really were.

"Is that why you picked this isolated spot?" Kara asked, having wondered about the reason for the private stretch of beach reserved exclusively for their use.

"Yeah." Naruto admitted. "I wanted to get away from people for a little while. I'm actually wotking on finding a way to limit or block off my sensing, which it turns out is a lot harder to do than learning how get it started."

Kara gnawed on her bottom lip for a while as she considered the moral conundrum of deliberately blinding one self to the suffering of others or allowing yourself to see it and feeling the urge to react with lethal violence. She'd thought that things were simple, that the horned blond was a bad person for killing so many, but the truth was anything but simple. She knew that Naruto didn't feel any guilt for the people he killed, that much was obvious, but did it make him a bad person if he killed those that would go on to cause suffering to others later? It was all just too confusing.

"Why did you help them by the way?" She asked abruptly, looking towards the other three women again.

"They're not bad people and I wanted to see what they would do with a second chance. So far, it seems to be paying off. I doubt any of those three will go back to crime. Pammy might and Peaches will probably go along with her if that happens because she doesn't have anyone else, but Kitten definitely won't."

That made Kara smile. It was an undisputably good thing if he managed to get them to turn away from life as criminals and she was glad that the conversation had drifted away from the previously dark subject matter.

"Well, if you won't let me go home then I might as well go splash them too." She said lightly and took off her outer clothing to reveal the bathing suit.

"Splash them huh? Watch this." He said with a conspiratory grin and looked towards the ocean.

Kara looked and couldn't help grinning along as three water pillars rose, each carrying one of the women upwards until they were at least ten feet above the water level and being held upright by their feet.

"Naruto let us down!" Pamela demanded

Her demand went ignored as the water pillars surged across the ocean, carrying their shrieking captives around by the feet for a minute until they were brought back with a splash.

"That actually looked kinda fun." Kara admitted.

"I'm so glad you agree." Naruto stated ominously and grabbed her.

"What are you doiIIIING?!" She trailed off in a scream as he tossed her towards the ocean and made the water form a cushion to catch her just before she would have crashed into it.

"You bastard, that was really scary!" She shouted at him indignantly. She'd never realised how frightening it was to be falling and unable to fly.

Naruto just grinned at her as he made his way towards the water. All four of them would be doing their level best to drown him now so that might be fun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_The same day, late afternoon._

"So, how are we going to do this?" Kara asked once she and Naruto arrived in a clearing that the taller blond had created by making the trees move around them.

Naruto had offered to teach her some martial arts and had eventually convinced her to accept the offer. She hadn't seen the point of it at first, but had come around when he'd pointed out that one of the main reasons that Superman had been so easy to defeat was because he barely even knew how to throw a punch properly. If he hadn't been a kryptonian he probably would have broken his wrists every other time that he hit something.

She'd seen the value of it after that. Aside from not looking like a street brawler when she fought, she was also secretly hoping that it would let her get one over her much stronger cousin.

"Well first of all, I need to ask you if you're sure you want to be wearing that?" Naruto asked, pointedly looking over her attire.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" She asked, looking down at herself. It was her usual Supergirl outfit; white T-shirt with a stylised 'S' and a small red cape, blue skirt and red boots.

"Oh nothing." Naruto responded with a smirk, giving the distinct impression that there was indeed a problem with what she was wearing.

Without warning, Kara felt her strength returning, along with her ability to fly, shoot lasers from her eyes and freeze things with her breath.

"You're not going to keep my powers blocked anymore?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "What if I decide to fly away?"

"The seal does more than just block your powers you know. It also leaves a beacon on you that will let me summon you back to me no matter how far you are. Even if you try to fly away, I'll know instantly and bring you right back." Naruto explained smugly.

Kara huffed irritably but didn't bother disbelieving him. She'd figured out by now that Naruto liked to tell the truth as much as possible, if for no other reason than the fact that it hit harder than a lie.

"Now, I need to get a feel for your physical abilities. I know that strength and endurance aren't going to be an issue thanks to your kryptonian heritage-"

"Argoan." Kara corrected.

"What?" Naruto asked, not understanding why she'd interrupted him.

"I'm argoan, not kryptonian." She elaborated.

"And the difference is...?"

"Argo was Krypton's sister planet."

"So you're part of the same weirldy overpowered species, just from a different planet?" Naruto asked dryly.

"We aren't weirdly overpowered!" Kara insisted.

"Suuure you aren't, I guess that means that I'm not weirdly overpowered either." The horned blond drawled sarcastically.

"I don't even know how someone like you got to be this powerful, but there's no way that it's natural. _I_ on the other hand am simply a product of evolution." She retorted playfully.

"Well if you must know, I became this powerful by climbing over the corpses of my enemies, helping my wife eat a Primordial God to take its place and then eating a divine fruit that she gifted me with." Naruto explained blandly.

"So...mortal combat, divine cannibalism and healthy living? I don't think you've got grounds to call anyone else weird." Kara snipped back.

"Ouch, that tongue of yours is getting awfully sharp sweetie. Maybe we should train it instead of teaching you martial arts, you'll be driving people into despair with your cutting retorts in no time." He teased back with a grin, rather enjoying the banter.

She gave him a dirty look for that, though Naruto wasn't sure if it was for calling her sweetie again or for the rest of it.

"Anyway, to get back on track, I need to test how flexible you are, so I want you to kick me in the face."

"Kick you in the face?" She echoed in deadpan.

"Yes, and no flying."

Kara immediately noted a few problems with that plan. Firstly, he was huge and she...was not. Secondly, she was wearing a skirt.

"I can't." She admitted, realising now what the problem with her clothes was.

"Try it anyway." He commanded. "I need to see how high you can kick."

"But..." She protested awkwardly, a blush spreading over her cheeks. She didn't want to flash her panties at him.

"I've already seen you in a bathing suit." He pointed out dryly. "I have no idea why the people in this world seem to think that's any different than panty flashing or walking around in underwear. Now kick me already."

"Fine." She huffed, still blushing and kicked as high as she could.

She managed to hit him somewhere just slightly below his solar plexus. Predictably, her skirt rode up her legs and she flashed her panties at him.

"Not bad, better than I thought it would be actually." He complimented, making no comment on the panty flash.

The next few hours, Naruto had Kara doing flexibility stretches that made her muscles ache in ways that she couldn't ever recall them aching. Though she was very glad when the taller blond pointed out that if it hadn't been for her powerful physiology, the ache would have stayed with her for days at a time instead of minutes and it would have taken weeks or even months to make the same amount of progress in limbering her up.

Once that was done they moved up to repeating attack movements to build some muscle memory and then some light sparring while Naruto demonstrated new moves every now and then. Eventually, Kara stopped feeling embarrassed about the constant panty flashing because he never mentioned it and started enjoying the instruction. Even with this short time, she could already see that the changes in stance, positioning and execution of her attacks was letting her put a lot more strength behind her blows, not to mention that the instruction on how to fall properly let her reduce downtime if not injury since she had that invulnerability going for her.

She definitely needed to invest in some shorts though. In retrospect, a skirt had been a really bad idea as part of her outfit.

For Naruto's part he was quite amazed at how quickly she learned. It counted for a lot that there was no need for any physical conditioning except for some stretching exercise to get her more flexible and even that was done quickly. But still, she learned anything physical at truly impressive speed. He figured that kryptonians or argonians or whatever-onians must build muscle memory faster than humans. A lot faster.

"You're picking this up really fast, my first sensei would have loved to have you as a student." He complimented dryly as he blocked her punches and kicks.

"Thanks." She said sincerely, smiling while she did so. Once they had gained some traction, this had turned out to be lots of fun. "What was this sensei of yours like?"

"Hatake Kakashi, A lazy porn addict with a hobby of being late to everything and making terrible excuses for it. Your ability to learn so fast would have been exactly what he likes in a student; someone that he barely needs to lift a finger to teach."

"Doesn't sound like a very good teacher." She commented.

"That's because he wasn't." Naruto agreed.

"I think you might need a different teacher than me though." He concluded with a sigh.

"What do you mean?" she asked with a frown, stopping her attack.

"I'm too big." Naruto responded dryly. "It would be better if you were taught by someone that knows a martial art more suited to your size. It works well enough because of your natural strength, but there are a lot of techniques that you can't use because you're too small. You should ask Batgirl to pick up your teaching and you can come to me for a spar if I'm still around by then."

"Oh, that makes sense." Kara said with a nod and relaxed her stance, not feeling tired in the slightest. "Are we done for today?"

"Just one more thing." Naruto said, getting curious look from the argoan.

A sudden wind picked up and lifted her skirt up, making her squeal in surprise and instinctively push the front of it down with her hands.

Meanwhile, Naruto had appeared behind her with a burst of speed and shamelessly ogled her panty clad bottom.

"WHY?! You've seen them so many times already!" She demanded with her face burning indignantly.

"There's always room...for more panty shots." Naruto said sagely with a serene smile, forcibly bursting the blood vessels in his nose to cause an explosive nosebleed.

He didn't bother dodging when she rammed his face with a flying knee strike. It was well executed and she had hadn't held back much in her leap.

Naruto was proud.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Late that night._

Kara felt almost ready to make her escape, even though she'd had fun on her first day of this forced vacation, she didn't want Clark driving himself half mad with worry.

She was certain by now that Naruto was not a bad guy. Oh, she knew that he wasn't exactly a _good_ guy, but he wasn't a bad guy either. He was just a guy...with effectively infinite power, a knee jerk reaction to people that cause pointless suffering and no regard for anyone's rules other than his own and that of his wife.

Though from what she heard of this wife of his, she wasn't the type to impose any rules on him...or at least, none that would concern anyone other than the two of them.

She knew that with Naruto's ability to summon her, she didn't realistically stand a chance of staying away, but even if she could contact anyone for just long enough to tell them that she wasn't in any danger and was being treated well(practically pampered even), it would do the job.

With this in mind, she had waited until it was the dead of night so that everyone else would be sleeping and she could fly off without Naruto's notice. It made her strangely uncomfortable to be so duplicitious to her kidnapper since he hadn't blocked off her powers again in a clear show of trust, but she couldn't in good conscience leave her cousin to suffer, even if it was all in his head.

Now it was time to go, so she used her X-ray vision to spy on the rest of the absurdly luxurious private mansion that Naruto had somehow secured for their use.

Her first targets were Pamela and Harley, or Peaches as Naruto kept calling her.

She found both of them to be sleeping soundly, with Harley hugging Pamela like a teddy bear.

Their time together on the beach had been stilted and awkward at first, colored as it was by their hostile past interaction, but things had smoothed out eventually, in no small part due to their combined efforts at drowning Naruto.

She wasn't completely certain, but if she had to guess, then Pamela had been the one keeping Harley sane since the Joker's death and it was obvious that they cared for each other a great deal as evidenced by how grabby Harley was being in her sleep and the fact that Ivy was letting her do it.

It was nice to see and it made her hopeful that the two women wouldn't go back to being criminals. She actually found herself sort of liking them now that they weren't enemies and honestly hoped that they could be friends, though things with Barbara might be a bit awkward at first.

Turning away from the cute scene, she looked towards Priscilla's room, only to blink in confusion upon finding it empty. The bed was unmade and someone had clearly slept in it, or tried to at least but then abandoned it.

Somewhat nervously, she turned her eyes towards Naruto's room and immediately started blushing furiously.

At least she had found the former Cheetah.

She was kneeling in between Naruto's legs and doing her level best to swallow as much of his rod as possible, using her hands to stroke the length of it that she couldn't fit in her mouth. Kara really wanted to look away, but found herself unable to tear her eyes away from the sight.

That was a circumstance that she came to regret mere moments later when Priscilla's cheeks bulged and a thick white fluid escaped from the sides of her mouth, which she then proceeded to swallow and lick up rapturously.

_It must taste really good_. Kara thought with a sort of horrified fascination, before immediately shaking her head in denial. She was not a pervert! Or a peeper!

Seeing that the two of them were about to continue and that Naruto was apparently unaware of her accidental voyeurism, Kara turned to her private balcony and prepared to fly away. She doubted that Naruto would notice her escape since he was...otherwise engaged.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto pulled his tongue out of the screaming Priscilla with a sigh when the proximity seal on Kara informed him that she had gone out of range.

Paying the dazed and now confused woman no mind, he slapped his hand on the floor and instantly summoned the errant Supergirl into the room.

Kara thudded lightly on the floor, her powers once more locked up and directed a sheepish look towards her kidnapper/sensei/sort-of friend and immediately scrambled backwards with a yelp.

He was naked and his...thing...was all but staring her right in the face...throbbing .

"You've got some pretty bad timing there sweetie, don't you know that women hate it when you interrupt their turn at oral sex?" Naruto asked casually, making no move to cover himself.

Priscilla had noticed the new arrival by this point and was clutching a sheet over herself in embarrassment and staring at Kara with a mixture of irritation at being interrupted and shame at her exposure.

Kara was far too embarrassed to muster any reply, so she just kept trying to look anywhere aside from the still throbbing member pointed in her general direction.

"One thing I apparently should have mentioned about that seal I've got on you is the fact that it would wake me up even if I'm dead asleep. You _can't_ sneak past it." The horned blond explained calmly, as if he wasn't the only person in the room not suffering from critical levels of awkwardness.

"Now, I'm going to finish what I started, so unless you want to watch you should probably go back to your room and get some sleep." He finished and turned back towards the older of the two blonde females, his tongue already lenghtening.

"Naruto wai-!" Priscilla tried to say, most definitely not wanting to have an audience, not to mention that the mood was thoroughly ruined for her, but was interrupted when chains yanked her legs apart, causing her to yelp and start breathing heavily in an intoxicating mixture of apprehension and excitement at his forcefulness.

Kara fled the room at top speed through the fortunately open window, barely even registering her powers once again becoming available. Priscilla's pleasured scream followed her and nearly made her crash into a wall in her haste to escape.

Once back in her room, she hid under the covers with a nuclear full body blush and hugged a pillow hard enough to destroy it. That was her first close encounter with sex and it was most definitely a less than stellar introduction. She couldn't even be sure if Naruto had done that deliberately to embarrass her or if he was seriously that shameless.

She didn't get any sleep that night, unable to force what she'd seen from her mind and occasionally even needing to restrain herself from using her X-ray vision to peek on them again, much to her horror.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_The next morning._

Kara tiptoed into the living room of the mansion, nervously looking around to make sure that she was alone. Though she knew she would be considering how early in the morning it was, which was the way she wanted it. She was worried that Naruto was going to stop being so nice now that she'd tried to escape.

Thanks to her sunlight powered physiology, she wasn't suffering any side effects from mising a single night of sleep. Not physical ones anyway.

It had taken hours for her mind to stop being a confused jumble of embarrassment and morbid curiousity to see more, as well as her subsequent shame over that desire. Despite not being human, she was still a teenager and teenaged hormones at least were something that her species had in common with humans.

Not that she had any interest in Naruto exactly, it was just that the whole incident had kickstarted her already budding interest in things like that. The horned blond was a bit too old for her the same way that she was too young for him, not to mention that large parts of his personality rubbed her the wrong way...and he was spoken for, can't forget that even though his relationship with Xanna didn't exclude flings with other women for reasons unknown to her.

She groaned quietly and shook her head, trying to banish the distracting thoughts going through her head. It was unbelieveable just how much chaos that annoying man had introduced into her thoughts by summoning her right into the middle of his sexual encounter with Priscilla.

Looking around the room she caught sight of Naruto's sword, standing oh so casually in a corner of the room. It took her mind away from the dirty thoughts at least.

Biting her lip, she made her way over and took it, looking over the unadorned black sheath and long hilt curiusly. Soon she found herself drawing the blade slowly from its sheath, trying to keep the rasp of steel as quiet as possible.

She blinked incredulously when she just kept on drawing when she _knew_ that the whole blade should have been out already. Once the entire blade was drawn, she held it easily in one hand and set it next to the sheath, confirming that yes, the actual blade was somehow longer than its sheath.

She put that aside as another quirk of Naruto's and focused on the sword itself, a blade this long would have been pretty awkward to carry around at full length anyway so some kind of trick to make it more convenient made sense. The long blade glinted dangerously in the first light of dawn, holding an intoxicating shimmer along its deadly edge. It was an instrument of death and did nothing to hide it, but it was still beautiful, its majestic curvature and the surpassing quality of the blade having an almost hypnotic effect on Kara even though she had only a passing interest in swords before this.

Experimentally, she gave it a few swings, being careful not to accidentally hit anything with it. Kara wasn't sure, but she thought that the blade actually felt as if it..._disapproved_ of her somehow, which reminded her about stories of swords that had a spirit of their own.

"Having fun?"

Hearing Naruto's amused voice from behind her so suddenly and without warning startled her badly for several reasons. Firstly, he'd snuck up on her. Secondly, she was still terribly embarrassed about what she had been summoned into some hours ago. Thirdly, she'd been playing around with his sword without permission.

Due to this, she yelped and nearly threw the sword in her instinctive haste to let go of it, as if the speed of that action would somehow undo the fact that she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

The Kusanagi sailed a short distance through the air and landed blade first on the back of the couch, cleaving through it as if it was made of air, along with a corner of the coffee table in front of it.

"Well, that's probably going to upset whoever is going to have to pay for it." Naruto commented amusedly.

Kara started stammering out an apology, inwardly wondering just how much deeper of a hole she could dig for herself in regards to her embarrassment around the horned blond. Maybe she would accidentally insult his wife next?

"Would you like to learn how to use a sword?" Naruto asked curiously, finding her embarrassment quite endearing.

"I tried to run away, interrupted your, uh...private time, played around with your sword without permission and you're offering to teach me _more_?" She blurted out incredulously.

"Well of course you tried to run away, I _did_ kidnap you after all and you're a nice girl that wants to help her cousin even if I don't think he deserves it. It's not like you intended to interrupt me and Kitten and you were just curious about the Kusanagi, not trying to steal it." Naruto explained patiently, grinning at her.

"I guess that might be nice...though I'd need a smaller sword." She muttered, feeling embarrassed by the fact that he was being so persistently nice even now. How the hell does someone admit to kidnapping and make it sound nice anyway?

"Aw, you're so cute!" Naruto exclaimed and hugged her. She was just too damn cute.

"Hey! Let me go!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**I know I said that this would be the last chapter, but I appear to have underestimated how much I would have to write about their vacation time. This means that there will obviously be at least one more chapter after this one, possibly two if I'm misjudging things again.**

**Anyway, I hope there haven't been any huge amount of spelling errors or grammatical mistakes in this one. It's 4:30 in the morning and I've been awake all night more or less so there's a distinct chance of that happening. Either way I'll look it over once I've had some sleep, but I just wanted to post this before nodding off.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Review Responses:**

**Heika: That is a very good point and I can't believe I didn't think of it. My job lately has been less tedious than normal so I've had less need to distract myself by thinking about the plot and it made me miss something that obvious. Clearly I need to take up pacing up and down my room while thinking of plot more often.**

**PARTHA LAHIRI: Dude, it's been less than two weeks since my last update. I would hardly call that 'many days'. I'm doing this for free so try to keep your pants on, even if it takes me two months to update. Not that it's likely to happen unless I get some serious writer's blockage, but honestly…..it's rude to rush people to write more.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Xanna was bored.

It had been several days already since Naruto had abducted Supergirl and that bit of amusement was starting to wear thin.

Superman had long since healed of course and the plan of using her as bait in order to lure 'Uzu' out into the open had failed, as he had simply not shown up. Predictably this had been driving Superman mad with worry and it had been somewhat funny to watch the man agonize over the imaginary torments that his cousin was going through. He had even gone so far as to scan the entirety of Gotham and Metropolis along with wide areas around them in an effort to find Kara. When that had failed he'd resorted to flying all over the place in his attempts to find her, fruitlessly of course.

The situation was clearly not having beneficial effects on his sanity.

It was less obvious with the others, but they too were getting antsy with worry over the teenaged superheroine. Batgirl had insisted quite vehemently that she be included in the search for her friend and had eventually gotten her way, though it was only serving to frustrate her.

At least the fight would take place tomorrow and she would get reunited with her husband, in more ways than one.

But that didn't fix her current boredom.

Having nothing better to do, she started peeking into the thoughts of the Justice League members. She left the martian alone, as his telepathic ability might allow him to actually detect her even if it wasn't good enough to detect her peeking into the others.

Usually she wouldn't do something like this, not because of any kind of ethics about violating the sanctity of people's thoughts, but simply because what went on in their heads wasn't interesting most of the time. Which proved to be true for most of the League as well.

Except for two of them.

Batman was quite the headcase actually. The trauma of seeing his parents murdered had apparently left some serious psychological scarring that gave him a deep aversion to guns and killing. His opinion on the criminals that Naruto had killed was actually 'good riddance', he just wasn't willing to kill them himself and wanted to bring Naruto in for doing the actual killing. He was the most ruthless of the League but paradoxically the one that was the least likely to consciously decide to kill someone.

Xanna believed that Naruto would have called him a 'fucking pussy that should man up and get over it already'. She was somewhat inclined to agree actually. Plenty of people who had seen their loved ones killed in front of them came out of it with less issues than he did. Naruto could hardly be called sane by anyone's definition, but he'd been messed up since day one. Bruce Wayne had eight years of a perfectly happy life and then decades more to recover, that was plenty of time to be capable of putting the trauma in the past.

Superman was another matter entirely. He was scared of his own power.

Growing up with people so much weaker than him had instilled in him the rather bizzare fear of accidentally harming people with his strength, along with the fear of being rejected if he used it too judiciously.

Not an unreasonable fear admittedly, considering the fact that she knew there were government agencies dedicated to finding ways of killing him if he should ever go out of control, but still rather disproportionate. Basically, he was trying to 'fit in' as best he could while also playing superhero, because he'd feel guilty _not_ using his power if he could use it to help people. He just used his overly rigid moral code to present himself as the ultimate good guy because he didn't want people to be afraid that he was going to turn on them.

The little fracas with Darkseid that had caused him to attack the Earth some time ago had only made him even more rigid on his no killing rule. He wasn't necessarily consciously aware of all this, but that's what it all boiled down to from her point of view.

This whole situation with Naruto holding his cousin captive was causing him all sorts of inner moral conflict that a psychiatrist could probably write a book on.

Well, at least she had something to look forward to tomorrow, it promised to be explosive. That was exactly what she needed after this little stretch of boredom. She'd had longer ones in her life before, but not since marrying her rather amusing husband. She hadn't even been able to make Diana uncomfortable because of the somber atmosphere!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kara's arms shook under the force that was put behind the sword strike that she had just blocked, only barely able to hold the parry.

"I've told you already, don't do that. If your opponent is stronger than you, then deflect instead of block." Her teacher scolded...again.

"What are the chances running into a swordsman stronger than me?" She grunted out sarcastically as she pushed his sword away with her own, irritated by how easily she was being pushed around.

"Clearly, they aren't zero." Her bastard sensei pointed out cheerfully and smashed his sword into hers with brutal force again.

She sort of managed to deflect it this time, but it still sent her stumbling off balance.

"How is...all this sparring supposed to make me better?" She demanded as she continued fending off his powerful blows. "You haven't taught me any new moves in two days!"

"I taught you how to properly hold a sword and some basics, everything else will come to you with experience. There is nothing I can teach you anymore that combat experience can't do better." Naruto explained and struck again.

Sick and tired of being constantly on the defensive, Kara struck back forcefully and without holding back, knowing that she couldn't truly injure him. Her attack was caught by his own blade easily and pushed back hard enough to break her balance again.

"A sword isn't an iron bar Kara, don't swing it like one, even if you are frustrated. It leaves you wide open for a counterattack." He lectured and punctuated it by performing said counterattack.

"Well it's a good thing that I'm invulnerable then." She said with a smirk and blocked it with her forearm, the blade unable to cut her skin.

"Oh really?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow as he took a step back.

Before Kara could make a smartass remark the likes of which she'd taken to making lately, the Kusanagi lashed out and made a long but not very deep cut on her thigh.

Kara stumbled back with a cry at the unfamiliar sting of cut skin, though she was more surprised than in pain. She continued to look in slight shock at the sight of her own blood running down her leg. Somewhat numbly, she wondered why she hadn't lost an arm when she'd blocked it earlier.

"But how?"

"That invulnerability of yours isn't absolute and I'd advise against using it as a first line of defense. You never know when you'll come across something that can overpower it or get around it."

"Overpower it?" She asked curiously. "You think that can be done?"

"Of course it can." Naruto responded dryly. "It's not even true invulnerability if you ask me, because I'm pretty sure that you're just extremely damage resistant."

"Is that how you cut me?"

"No, I imbued the Kusanagi with chakra to give it more cutting power and extend its range. The blade never even touched you just now, otherwise you'd have lost a leg."

Kara swallowed a bit nervously at that and decided that maybe following his advice about not relying on her invulnerability too much would be wise. At least when dealing with things she'd never encountered before and didn't know the full capabilities of. She definitely didn't want to become an amputee.

"What does 'Kusanagi' mean anyway? Or is it just a name?" She asked curiously, having never really questioned it before.

"Kusanagi no Tsurugi means 'The Grass-Mowing Sword' if you want a literal translation." Naruto explained.

"Isn't that a bit of a strange name? It makes your sword sound like a lawnmower." She teased, instantly taking the opportunity.

Naruto only smirked at her attempt as he responded. "It doesn't mean that it's used to cut grass, it means that everything it touches is cut like grass, like that leg of yours."

She huffed at him and sheathed the sword he'd created for her to practice with. It was actually the third one, the previous two having been destroyed during their practice.

Her outfit had undergone a slight change, as she wasn't wearing the blue skirt anymore. Instead of that she'd asked if Naruto could make her a pair of shorts and he had done so.

Only...he'd made them black and skintight, making sure that they left virtually nothing to the imagination. She'd protested quite vehemently at first and refused to wear them, after which he'd asked her what kind she would like.

After going through a variety of them, she was forced to concede that it was indeed better if they were stretchy and skintight if she was going to be fighting in them and subjecting them to all sorts of abuse. She had put her foot down on the color though, demanding a set of red ones. Naruto had clearly been a bit confused by that and claimed that the black ones looked better on her, but he'd gone ahead and made them for her.

Kara didn't want to admit it, but she had mainly refused to wear the black ones because they just seemed skankier somehow. She hadn't thrown them away though, as the compliment had stuck in her head.

After that she'd eventually also asked for a matching top, which left her in her current outfit of skintight blue top with the typical red 'S' and red shorts.

Of course, Naruto wasn't content to leave it at that and instead made her a whole wardrobe of outfits in variations of black, red and gold just because he could. He'd also teased her for keeping all of them because she wanted to try them on later.

She'd also managed to form a tentative friendship with the three former villainesses, making sure to never give them any crap about their pasts. She had big hopes that all three of them would turn away from a life of crime and needlessly antagonizing them would only serve to make that less likely.

All in all it had been a fun few days for all of them and she sometimes found it hard to think of the horned man as a ruthless killer with how he acted. She could have done without the rampant sex that she just knew was going on every night though. She got the distinct feeling that Naruto was at this point regularly sleeping with all three of the women that were on this vacation with them. They weren't exactly hiding it.

"Come sit with me, there's something I'd like to try." His voice broke her out of her thoughts and she turned her head to see him sitting crosslegged on the grass.

Curiously, she sat down next to him, wondering what he was up to now.

"What are you doing over there? I asked you to sit with me." He asked, quirking an amused eyebrow at her.

"But I'm right next to you." She protested.

"Yes, but I asked you to sit with me, not next to me." He countered, grinning at her as he patted his legs in a clear indication that he wanted her to sit in his lap.

"I'm not sitting in your lap you pervert!"

"Aw come on Kara, don't be like that. This has nothing to do with me being a pervert." He assured seriously and beckoned her over again.

She still looked terribly suspicious, but went and sat down in his lap anyway, wiggling around a bit to make herself comfortable and then she suddenly froze.

"Naruto...why are you poking me?"

"Because you wiggled. Even if I didn't ask you to do this because I'm a pervert doesn't mean I can avoid getting a boner if a hot girl wiggles her ass in my lap." He pointed out in deadpan.

"You better have a good reason for asking me to do this." She said threateningly with her cheeks burning.

"I do, now lean back against me and try to relax."

Despite her embarrassment, Kara did as he asked and leaned against his chest. After about a minute of deep breathing, she managed to forget her awkwardness at the situation and relaxed, curious about what he was up to.

Naruto was in the meanwhile trying something out. He wanted to give Kara a sword that would be truly hers, but it couldn't be a chakra blade like the Kusanagi. He needed an alternative, so he was feeling out her body and spirit to see if something like that could even be done, a sword that would be like an extension of her. After a while, he thought that he had what he needed and touched the bright spark of her spirit with his own.

Kara wasn't quite sure what Naruto was doing, but she knew that he was doing _something_. Still, she trusted him by now and didn't feel threatened when he took her hands in his own and brought them up to the level of her chest, clearly about to do something. That something hit her with the suddenness of a lightning bolt.

For a short while, she felt as if she could truly understand the horned man in whose lap she was sitting. For just a little while she knew him in a way that she hadn't thought it was possible to know anyone. She knew the infinite depth of his devotion for his wife and knew that there was nothing that he wouldn't do for her. For those few moments, she knew him in ways she hadn't thought it was possible to know anyone.

And then it was suddenly over, leaving her reeling from the loss and gulping down air.

"Sorry about that, I didn't think you'd have such a strong reaction to it." She heard Naruto murmuring in her ear.

"What….what was that?" She asked with breathless wonder.

"A failed experiment of an overly optimistic man." Naruto answered, serving only to confuse Kara further.

"But it was amazing, I….I _understood _you." She said back, failing to put the experience into words, unable to believe how something so wonderful could be a failed experiment. Being able to understand a person on such a deep level was something that many spent their entire lives trying to achieve.

"Yes, between two people who are on good terms with each other, it is amazing. But trying something like this between groups of strangers disaster waiting to happen." Naruto explained and then continued before she could answer. "But that's not why I did this."

"Huh?" Kara articulated, frowning in confusion.

Her confusion was answered when an object was placed into her hands and she looked at it to find a sheathed sword of similar design to Naruto's except shorter. It had a red and black hilt with a brass colored guard.

"I bound this blade to your spirit and it will obey only you."

Kara barely heard him as she stared at the sword, transfixed. The same feeling of presence that she had felt from Naruto's Kusanagi emanated from this one and yet it was different. Naruto's sword felt as if it was only tolerating her handling of it but this one felt like a friend, a trusted companion that she could always rely on.

"When I first came into possession of the Kusanagi I used it like a piece of sharp metal, swinging it around without finesse and no regard for its beauty. It took me years and a lot of experience, but I eventually learned to treat it the way it deserves to be treated and the blade accepted me as its master in turn. I learned a lot about myself that way and I hope that it'll be the same for you."

"It's beautiful." She said softly, still admiring it and the connection she could feel with it.

"I'm glad you like it, I had to give my student a proper gift at the end of her apprenticeship after all. Even if it was a very short apprenticeship. That sword has some secrets of its own, but I'll let you discover those yourself."

"You mean you're not going to teach me anymore?" She asked, feeling more disappointed than she had expected to, considering that she'd only known him for a few days.

"I'm having my rematch with the Justice League tomorrow, so this little kidnapping will be over then. You'll be free to go back to your cousin and tell him what a great time you had with me." Naruto pointed out, rather amused the situation.

"Well yeah, but….." She responded half-heartedly. She didn't really think that Clark would be open to the idea of her spending more time with Naruto after everything was out in the open, but that just didn't sit right with her.

"Xanna and I won't be leaving right away you know, just because your uptight cousin won't like it doesn't mean that you can't come see me anymore. You could even invite me over for dinner!" Naruto said spontaneously, having the sudden mental image of an extremely awkward family dinner with the elderly Kent couple and their adopted super powered children. That was a recipe for hilarity right there. He could already imagine Superman glaring petulantly the entire time and getting scolded by his mother for being rude.

"I'm not sure if that would be a good idea….." Kara said slowly, the very same mental image going through her head, but with the addition of Naruto constantly speaking in double entendres that sounded polite on the surface but would no doubt serve to rile up her cousin something fierce.

"Aw come on sweetie, don't tell me that you don't think that would be funny. It would and you know it." Naruto teased.

"Yeah sure, for you." Kara muttered. "And don't call me sweetie."

"I can't help it sweetie, having your tight little ass on my lap this long is giving me _urges_." The horny blond rumbled into her ear lewdly.

Kara shot out of his lap violently, having actually completely forgotten about the compromising position after their communion of spirit and being gifted with the sword. "You pervert!"

Naruto just laughed at her red face, even when she threw a rock at his head with enough force to kill a normal human ten times over.

"I think I'm going to go find out if Pammy, Peaches and Kitten are up for a foursome." Naruto revealed conversationally, as if it was no big deal.

"I didn't want to know that!" Kara yelled at him, the shade of red on her face deepening. One thing she could never get used to was his complete lack of shame and it got to her every time. Naturally, this meant that Naruto made sure to use it to embarrass her all the time.

"Feel free to watch if you're curious, you cute little pervert." The taller blond continued as if she hadn't spoken.

"I am not a pervert!"

"You're a teenager sweetie, of course you're a pervert." Naruto countered with a cheeky grin. He knew that it wasn't necessarily true, but it sure did serve to rile her up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Four females were sitting on a couch and watching a strange TV that appeared to be made of some sort of crystal. At the moment it was only showing Naruto doing some minor geographical alteration to an empty piece of land.

"I wonder how this works?" Priscilla said mostly to herself as she stared at the bizzare TV like thing.

"Who cares as long as we get to see the action." Harley shot back, staring at the screen with thinly veiled excitement. "It's probably some weird chakra mojo anyway."

"I'm not too comfortable about seeing my cousin and his friends getting screwed with like this." Kara grumbled, being the only one with conflicting feelings on this match. On one hand, she did want to see the fight, but on the other, it was still kind of mean what Naruto and Xanna were doing to the Justice League.

"Are you sure you're not just frustrated about being left out of the fun last night?" Pamela asked with a smirk.

Kara shot a dirty look at the plant manipulating woman. "I don't really consider your orgies with Naruto 'fun'."

"You should." The other three women chorused with authority.

"I hadn't pegged any of you as being lesbian or bisexual." The argoan teenager muttered, deflating at their combined response.

"We're not, but if if it's just one of us, he knocks us out in less than an hour." Pamela answered.

"It didn't seem fair." Priscilla continued. Naruto had been able to rather easily take care of her vulnerability to Ivy's poisons. She didn't even bother being surprised that he could do that as if it was nothing.

"That, and we wanted to see if we could knock _him _out for a change." Harley added her own two cents.

Kara groaned at their response, having not really wanted an answer to her statement. "The horny bastard has turned all of you into perverts."

The other three women shrugged uncaringly. If perverts always had this much fun, then their only regret was that it hadn't happened sooner.

"So did you tire him out?" Kara asked curiously, hoping that she wasn't going to regret her curiousity.

"Hell no." They chorused again.

"Maybe we could have if you'd bothered to join in _Supergirl_." Pamela said archly, deliberately insinuating that the superheroine had done something wrong by not joining their orgy.

Kara shot the redhead another dirty look, getting the distinct feeling that her superhero name was being used to point out that she had superior natural stamina rather than anything else.

"Did you use your X-ray vision to peek on us?" Harley asked mischievously, cutting off whatever retort the teenaged girl was about to make.

"What?! NO!" Kara shrieked back, shocked that her fellow blonde would even ask such a thing.

"That sounded a little desperate." Priscilla commented conversationally.

"I didn't peek on you." Kara denied desperately.

"You really _do_ sound pretty desperate." Pamela added in the same conversational tone.

"An answer that forceful is usually a lie made by people who aren't prepared for that kind of question." Harley finished, her degree in psychiatry serving her well in the pursuit of teasing the teenaged superheroine.

"Stop picking on me you bitches." Kara snarked and pouted, causing the other three women to smirk at her.

Internally, Kara breathed a sigh of relief when they backed off.

She _had_ peeked. Her curiosity had simply gotten too much and she'd turned on her X-ray vision for a short while and she still wasn't sure if she regretted it or not. It had been the most embarrassing few minutes of her life and left her blushing hot enough to nearly set her bed on fire. Much to her chagrin, it also left her strangely turned on.

"Oh my god! You DID peek, I knew it!" Harley suddenly exclaimed, catching sight of the way Kara was rubbing her thighs together and her bright red blush as her mind drifted towards her memories of what she'd seen.

"No, I didn't! I swear!" She tried to deny desperately, cursing herself for the slip up.

"LIAR!" The other tree shouted gleefully, relishing the opportunity to hold this over the argoan. It was so rare for them to have the moral high ground and they were going to milk it for all it was worth.

"I really didn't!"

Paying her no heed, Harley's hands shot out and tickled her sides as she asked demandingly. "What did you see?"

Kara shrieked and tried to back away, but got caught by the other two women, her sitting position not affording her a good chance to defend herself. "I didn't see anything!"

"Grab her arms and legs!" Pamela commanded with authority as they proceeded to immobilize the teenager.

Kara struggled desperately, all the while cursing the fact that Naruto had blocked off her powers again, no matter how cutely she pouted at him. He said that he didn't want her compassion to provoke her into interrupting the dramatic final battle, which she had to admit might happen if she saw how badly Clark was likely taking her disappearance.

At least she had managed to negotiate something else for it. Naruto had agreed to do one thing that she asked in return for her patience on the matter.

In a three on one with nothing but the baseline human strength of a small teenaged girl, she was subdued fairly easily.

"Are you ready to tell us what you saw?" Harley asked menacingly, holding one of Kara's bare feet and clearly threatening to tickle it.

"I'm not telling you anything!" Was the stubborn response.

"Have it your way then." Harley said with a shrug and proceeded with the torture.

Kara spasmed and howled in hysteric laughter, but couldn't break free from their grip no matter how hard she tried.

Several minutes later, Kara was gasping for breath and completely red faced from reasons other than embarrassment. "Alright, I'll tell you, just stop tickling me!"

Much to her dismay, they didn't let her up but leaned in with expectant faces instead. Reluctantly, Kara started speaking, knowing that they'd go back to the tickle torture if she dragged her feet too long.

"I didn't see much…I started watching while he was...well you were all on your hands and knees and he was…..you know…taking Harley from behind and doing the other two with his fingers." She started haltingly and finished in a rush, blushing furiously all the while.

"Ooh, that was fun." Harley commented, getting agreeing nods from Pamela and Priscilla.

"That man can multitask." Pamela added.

"Did you know that he can cause direct nerve stimulation with his chakra?" Priscilla asked the pinned superheroine and continued without waiting for an answer. "In both holes at the same time even!"

The prone Supergirl glared ineffectually. She really hadn't wanted to know that. She could still clearly remember all three women's faces twisted in a rictus of pleasure while they were being worked over and she didn't want details.

"What more did you see?" Harley prodded.

Reluctantly, Kara started speaking again when a threatening tickling gesture was made.

"The only other thing I saw before I stopped watching was him tying Harley up in chains and you two….you know….slurping _it_ out of her while he…" Kara trailed off, too embarrassed to continue speaking and struggling to find a way to say it without making it sound dirty.

"Screwed them from behind and put some stuffin' in their muffin'?" Harley supplied helpfully.

"Yeah, that." Kara replied flatly with her head thunking on the floor, feeling as if she couldn't possibly get any more embarrassed.

"Did you know that he made his sperm taste like chocolate?" Pamela asked.

"Yeah, hot chocolate, thick and gooey." Priscilla chimed in.

"I hate you all."

Fortunately for Kara, the action was starting so she was spared any further embarrassment as they all scrambled back to the couch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto gazed approvingly at the battlefield he had prepared.

It used to be just a mostly flat area, but now it also played host to the occasional stone pillar and tree. He'd mostly added those just for the dramatic effect when someone was going to be kicked into them with enough force to break them. There was no such thing as a proper battle between super powered individuals without people breaking heavy materials with their bodies.

The League should have noticed him by now and would be on their way down. He hadn't been very subtle with his landscaping after all.

Ten boring minutes later, the League finally showed up and they looked quite fired up, Superman in particular, though Flash was missing for some reason.

"Hello again, I see you've brought my prize" He greeted pleasantly in referral to Xanna's presence once most of them had exited the Javelin. Batman and if he sensed correctly, Batgirl stayed in there, probably figuring that they would be of more use piloting the space craft.

"Where is my cousin?" Superman demanded instantly.

"Ah? Sweet little Kara? She's in the same place that she's been for the past few days of course. But not to worry, I've been taking very good care of her. I've even been giving her important life lessons, _and_ I've brought three other women to keep her company in case she felt lonely." Naruto said pleasantly and with total honesty.

Of course, the overly sinister, mocking grin he had on his face ruined the effect, but that was all part of the fun. The outraged looks on the faces of the Justice League were certainly amusing.

"If you've hurt her….." Superman trailed off menacingly.

"Well I did beat her every day…." At sparring, card games and various other things, that had hurt her pride a bit. She completely owned him at chess and checkers though. That had hurt _his_ pride because they had a bet going on those. He'd been sporting a very girly looking braid once she got through with his hair.

Superman looked about ready to charge, but was stopped by an arm on his shoulder from Flash. Instead of charging he addressed the horned blond again, this time speaking with cold fury.

"You'll pay for this."

"You see, I _would_ be intimidated by that if you were, well…._intimidating_." Naruto mocked back.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Kara groaned into her hands at the way things were going so far. She was already wishing that she could just fly over there and clear things up.

"You know, he has a really impressive gift for saying completely innocent things and letting them be horribly misunderstood." Priscilla commented.

"I know." The teenager grumbled back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well, what are you waiting for? The seals on Kara will disappear if you kill me you know." Naruto.

"I should have done it the first time." Superman ground out furiously, obviously gearing up to attack.

"Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?"

Any further banter was cut off when Naruto felt a metal pole of some sort being smashed into the back of his knee, forcing it to bend.

Before he could back to his feet, he felt something pressing down on his shoulders and saw a hint of green in the corner of his vision. Realising that Lantern had to be pushing down on him with his ring, he braced himself to force it up, only to receive an enormously powerful punch in the jaw that sent him flying. No more than a moment later, he felt a double kick in the back that was powerful enough to actually crack his spine, pinballing him in yet another direction.

Shaking his head in mid flight to clear it after the rather brutal assault, he was just in time to hear a female warcry and see the head of an electrified mace smash into his head from above to send him crashing into one of the stone pillars he'd raised previously. It was immediately followed up by a barrage of laser fire from the Javelin's cannon.

The League watched tensely as the horned man slowly got to his feet, rubbing at his jaw and spitting out a wad of blood before commenting casually with a bloody grin forming on his face, apparently none the worse for the wear.

"Well, you slack jawed daffodils sure did learn how to play hard ball fast, now lets see if you can keep it up."

Not giving them time for a response, Naruto shot a fork of lightning towards Superman, only to have it blocked by a golden shield courtesy of Xanna.

"I guess I won't be using that shortcut today." Naruto mused. This much was just as planned. Xanna would be present in this battle to seemingly negate any instant battle ending abilities and give him an excuse to draw things out. It wouldn't be any fun if he could just turn everything around them from the earth to the air into a weapon of destruction.

Sensing a swift movement, his leg shot out and smashed against the titanium rod that Flash had once again aimed at the back of his knee. Unfortunately he had miscalculated the kick just slightly and the titanium pole smacked him right in the shin bone. It didn't really do him any damage aside from a tiny fracture that healed instantly, but it stung like a son of a bitch for a second there. The rod itself was sent flying away as Flash wasn't strong enough to keep hold of it.

Naruto swiped a punch at Flash only to have it avoided. Attempting to turn around and face the others again proved difficult as green shackles formed around his ankles, preventing movement.

He anticipated Superman's punch this time and blocked it with crossed arms and snapped out a punch of his own that caught the kryptonian off guard with its speed, catching him in the jaw and sending him flying.

Naruto resisted the urge to facepalm at how easy that had been. Superman still had the bad habit of leaning forward with his face when he threw his punches.

Immediately after, a punch courtesy of J'onn plowed into his back, but Naruto had been ready this time and anchored himself to the ground with chakra, sending a stream of disruptive chakra to the green shackles on his feet to dissipate them. A backhand lashed towards J'onn an instant later and the martian put up a hasty block as well as going intangible.

Much to his surprise, the attack passed through him. The fist of the other hand however, did not and his moment of surprise cost him as he was sent flying from the blow.

Almost before the martian had gotten hit, Flash was speeding around him with one end of Wonder Woman's lasso in his hand, clearly intent on wrapping him up in it.

Starting to get rather irritated by the buzzing red blur, Naruto stomped his foot on the ground and a wave of incredibly slippery ice spread out in all directions, robbing Flash of his footing and causing him to careen out of control and plow into the ground a short distance away.

"So that's your plan is it? Flash uses speed to create openings, the Green Lightbulb obstructs my movements, Xanna protects you from direct chakra attacks and the rest of you pummel me when you get the opportunity?" Naruto asked rhetorically in the sudden lull.

It was a good plan even. The wide open area worked to their advantage in this as it allowed Flash maximum mobility. The titanium poles that the speedster was using were probably because they had deduced that he couldn't hit hard enough with his fists without injuring himself to make a difference.

Naruto was sure that he could match the speed that Flash was using against him, but whatever power granted the red suited man his speed also allowed him to ignore inconveniences such as sonic booms and air friction. Naruto would need to use some rather delicate and finicky space-time manipulation to achieve the same while still keeping himself able to interact with the environment, otherwise he would set himself on fire trying to move that fast.

That actually had some appeal in its own right, though he'd need to exercise control over the fire to keep it from burning him.

Naruto was snapped out of his momentary wool gathering when Superman started using his heat vision to try and melt the ice. The keyword being 'try' as Naruto simply continuously kept cooling it to keep it from melting.

And then he suddenly lost control of it and the ice rapidly melted.

Naruto shot a dirty look at his wife, only to receive a smirk in return. She was enjoying this way too much.

As soon as the ice melted he had to fend off another super speed attack from Flash as well as constant attempts to pulverize him by the more physically powerful members of the League, not to mention Lantern's constant obstructive hard light creations.

Getting irritated once again, he took to the air and was immediately pursued by everyone except for Flash. The bigger surprise was the net that Batman shot at him from the Javelin though and it took him a few moments to rip it apart. In those few moments, the rest of the Justice League descended on him like a pack of rabid vultures and smashed him to the ground, where Flash took the opportunity to brain him with one of his improvised titanium clubs. Apparently he had brought a stockpile.

"You know, you guys are actually pretty dangerous when you get serious." Naruto complimented casually and brushed some dust away from his haori while his opponents landed.

"Surrender, you can't win." Green Lantern commanded with authority, seeing that the fight was going in their favor.

The horned blond couldn't help rolling his eyes at that. "We've barely even started having fun and you want me to give up?"

"You think this is some kind of game?" Superman hissed furiously, clearly only barely in control of his anger. Probably the only reason he hadn't flown off the handle so far had been because he got to hit Naruto.

"But it _is_ a game, I like games you see. Your cousin and I played a few games with my balls, it was awesome." Those were some epic games of volleyball and they were indeed his balls. He'd created them after all.

Superman wasn't known for screaming in rage when he fought, so it caught most of them by surprise when he did exactly that.

Naruto continued to keep an amused grin on his face as he fended off the berserk assault. The others had trouble approaching with the way that the kryptonian was flailing his limbs about so it was basically just the two of them for the moment, though Lantern was trying to help as much as possible.

It didn't save Superman from getting his fist caught, being lifted into the air and slammed back into the ground. Before the others could rush in to help, Naruto hurled the kryptonian towards the sky with massive strength, making him fly off so fast that the air around the thrown man caught fire due to air friction.

Seeing Flash charging at him, Naruto sprayed the ground right in front of him with sticky spider webbing. Flash didn't stop quite fast enough once he registered the danger and ended up getting his feet stuck. This in turn caused him to overbalance forward and faceplant right into the webbing.

"Not again." The red suited man groaned, causing Naruto to smirk.

Without looking, he sent several wind blades to intercept the nets that Batman and Batgirl had once again shot at him from the Javelin.

Xanna once again undid his webbing to free Flash while he was busy in a melee against Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman and J'onn, with Lantern once again causing trouble for him with that shiny ring of his.

Mid-fight, Naruto frowned in slight confusion when he sensed Batgirl getting out of the Javelin, apparently intent on fighting him on foot. Judging by the frustration he could feel from Batman, she was going against orders, probably angry at him for kidnapping her friend. She was also probably feeling useless in the Javelin since she wasn't trained to pilot it and was thus relegated to being an observer.

He was going to need to be careful with that one so that he didn't hurt her by accident. This really wasn't a fight that a regular human should be involved in, at least not on foot.

Much to his impressed surprise, Batgirl kept her cool and didn't approach, instead limiting herself to playing support and using a hand held net launcher to try and obstruct him. Smart girl, forcing him to split his attention even further.

Seeing a vulnerability in their attack pattern, Naruto grabbed hold of the martian and tossed him at Wonder Woman, simultaneously also bowling over the newly arrived Flash. Hawkgirl got her wings glued with more webbing.

Naruto was almost ready to go on the offensive when he was rather rudely pre-empted.

"Banshō Ten'in(Heavenly Attraction of All Creation)."

The Deva Path technique pulled him right into Wonder Woman's fist, with Lantern taking the chance to blast him with a more offensive ring power instead of just binding him.

"You know, you guys are really starting to annoy me." Naruto grumbled once he got back on his feet.

"What the hell does it take to put this guy down?!" Lantern groused in frustration at seeing the horned man just get back up as if they hadn't done anything at all to him.

"More than you can do Green Fleshlight." Naruto mocked back, using the name of one of the more ridiculous sex toys he'd seen in this dimension so far to insult the man. "But since there's obviously a bit too many of you to fight comfortably with just my fists, let me try something else.

Upon saying that, he clapped his hands together and thick tree roots burst from the ground and attacked the Justice League members, but left Xanna and Batgirl alone.

This situation proved to be of varying difficult for them. Lantern had an easy enough time of it, being able to cut through the growth with an application of his ring power. Wonder Woman was strong and fast enough to deal with them without too much difficulty. Flash had no particular means of destroying the roots so he had to flee from them and so did Hawkgirl(freed from the webbing by Xanna by then). Batman simply used the ship's laser canon to destroy them at range.

While this was going on, Superman came back and started cutting and burning through the roots with his heat vision.

"Alright, that didn't work, so lets try this." Naruto commented and made two wood clones for each member of the Justice League to fight.

"He can make clones of himself too?" Hawkgirl said in disbelief.

"Kara was pretty impressed by that one too." Naruto answered the rhetorical question. She really had been, especially the memory return feature.

Superman was by this point looking quite apocalyptic. You'd think someone just told him that his cousin had been gang raped or something.

Everyone was soon engaged in a desperate two on one battle, he'd even sent a couple of them after Xanna to give him an excuse to use a bolt of lightning to disable the Javelin and make it crash a short distance away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I REALLY wish he would stop making those kinds of easily misunderstood statements." Kara grumbled.

"Oh come on, you've gotta admit that it's pretty funny." Harley ribbed, grinning as she continued watching the fight and munching on popcorn.

"Maybe it would be if I didn't have to be the one explaining that no, I was not being raped or tortured but having a vacation while everyone worried themselves sick over me." Kara snipped back irritably.

"Just blame it all on Naruto, it _is_ all his fault anyway." Priscilla pointed out reasonably.

"That's not going to make my cousin any easier to live with for the foreseeable future. He'll be freaking out over this for _years_." The teenaged superheroine bemoaned, already imagining how irritating Clark was going to be.

"Then kick his ass with the stuff that Naruto taught you, that'll show him that you don't need protection." Pamela advised, her eyes never leaving the sight of multiple Naruto's fighting the Justice League.

"Hey check it out, Superman looks like he's about to lose it." Harley interrupted the conversation.

The others looked and the kryptonian did indeed appear as if he was about explode. He had his jaw clenched in anger and there was a constant and very out of character scowl on his face. From what they could see he'd been the only member of the League that had managed to destroy one of the clones, though another immediately replaced it, which might have contributed to the man's frustration.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Everyone was being pressed hard by the wood clones, except for Xanna who kept a permanent golden shield around her to protect her as well as give her an excuse not to protect the League.

"You guys having fun? I can make more if you're bored?" Naruto asked mockingly, deliberately riling them up.

A few more minutes of this and Superman's already strained patience snapped. Ignoring the two clones attacking him, he shot towards the original and smashed his fist directly into Naruto's chest.

Surprised but pleased by the aggressive move, Naruto made certain to weaken the durability of his body. He hadn't thought that one of them would pull something like this for a while yet.

Superman didn't hold back when he threw his punch, that in combination with Naruto deliberately weakening himself made his fist go right through the horned man's chest.

The kryptonian looked horrified at the gurgled, pained scream and blood spray that resulted from his attack. He'd been expecting to injure the man sure, but not like this. Intellectually, he knew that this man was evil and the things he'd said that he had done to Kara filled him with a fury the likes of which he'd never felt before, but feeling bones and internal organs rubbing against his arm reminded him poignantly of his determination not to kill. He might have said that he should have killed the man during their first battle, but the reality of it hit him harder than he'd expected it to.

He tried to pull his arm out, but Naruto grabbed it and kept it in place.

While this was going on, the clones had collapsed and allowed the rest of the League to approach the grim scene. Even Batman had made it out of the crashed Javelin by now and was present.

Having a deeply sickened expression on his face, Superman tried to get his arm free almost frantically when Naruto spoke to him.

"Tell me something Super Panties….." He said weakly, coughing up some blood before continuing. "…does it feel good to kill the man that took your cousin from you?"

"….No." Superman replied thickly, not feeling any real sense of accomplishment from what he'd done.

"Would have….felt better…..to protect her….wouldn't it?" Naruto asked again, streams of blood now leaking freely from his lips.

"Yeah." Was the quiet response from the kryptonian. If Uzu was to be believed then Kara would be freed now that the man was about to die, but would she ever be alright? He might feel terrible over taking even this vile man's life, but he would have preferred to feel terrible without feeling guilty for his failure to protect his cousin on top of it.

"Sucks to be you." Naruto suddenly said with a wide grin as if he wasn't injured in the slightest, all trace of weakness gone.

Before anyone could react, a black rod was impaled into Superman's shoulder and the man collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut.

Throwing the boneless body of the kryptonian away, Naruto turned to the rest of the League with a gaping hole still in his chest.

"What in Hera's name…" Wonder Woman said in shock, watching with a hanging jaw along with the others as the hole quickly closed without even a scar being left behind. Well Batman's jaw didn't hang, but he was almost as surprised as everyone else.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The four women observing the whole thing let out relieved sighs upon seeing that Naruto was fine.

"I know he told us that he was immortal, but he made that look way too real." Pamela grumbled.

"Tell me about it, that was an award winning performance. Of course, it helps that it was all real blood and gore." Harley added wryly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What have you done to him?" Diana demanded once the shock had passed.

"The black rods of the Outer Path have powerful disruptive properties on all energies. Through them my will is channeled and my will is that Superman shall not move." Naruto explained, another two rods growing out of his palms.

He watched in amusement as the amazon tried to grab the rod and pull it out only to let go immediately, staring at her hands in shock.

"What's wrong?" Batman asked.

"It felt colder than ice, but my hands are still warm." Diana tried to explain.

"What you felt was the chill of spirit, someone so unaware of the power of their own soul can never hope pull out the rods." Naruto explained once again.

Lantern tried to grasp it with his ring, but was frustrated to note that the powers of his ring refused to work on the rod.

"It's no good, I can't pull it out either." He said in frustration.

Superman heard everything but couldn't move no matter how hard he tried. He felt so terribly cold, as if the very warmth of his blood was being stolen away by the rod in his shoulder.

"Why do you keep talking about Superman's failure to protect his cousin?" Batman asked shrewdly, the question having been bugging him for some time now.

"I had little sisters once, but they died because I was too weak. Why should this fool that lacked even the resolve to kill in her defense be allowed to keep his?"

"Just because you lost your sisters is no reason to take away Kara!" Batgirl snapped at him in anger.

"Well, this is all a moot point now anyway. It's time I get to the purpose of my visit to this world." Naruto informed them, causing them to go tense in expectation of an attack.

It was useless as the air itself attacked them, the ground shook and broke their footing and roots rose to bind them. Being attacked on so many fronts left them unable to react properly when more of the black rods were thrown at them, hitting fleshy areas and avoiding bones or vital organs. The wounds themselves were minor, but as soon as they were pierced, all their strength left them.

Once they were all incapacitated, the roots bound and picked them up so that they could see what was going on.

"Xanna….run!" Superman managed to gasp out, having mustered enough strength for that.

The horned woman did not, instead simply gazing impassively at the man that had in the end so easily defeat the Justice League, seemingly resigned to her fate.

Naruto grinned at her and jumped towards her with his fist prepared to apparently punch her in the jaw.

Thus leaving everyone staring with uncomprehending incredulity when he crashed down onto one knee right in front of her and held out a bouquet of bright red roses which he had pulled out of….somewhere. The words he said shouted out as soon as this happened didn't make the situation any clearer for them.

"PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!"

After that, even Batman was staring with his jaw hanging.

"All this…..so that you could ask me to go on a date?" Xanna asked neutrally, betraying no feelings one way or the other.

"Of course, nothing says 'I love you' like a mountain of corpses." Naruto replied firmly, still kneeling in the same flower extended pose.

"Well, that is true." Xanna said and took the roses.

Naruto grinned wider, swept his wife into a dip and kissed her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a just minute here, didn't you say that he was after you because he wanted to kill you." Flash burst out, not even bothering to wonder why he was suddenly able to speak without trouble.

After he was done kissing his wife, Naruto turned towards the bound and confused Justice League, assumed a hyper dramatic kabuki pose with one hand extended in front of him, the other arching over his head and made a similarly hyper dramatic shocked expression.

"PLOT TWIST! We're married and you've been the butt of a very elaborate joke."

In the absolute silence that followed that proclamation, a dusty wind blew between them. The Justice League stared somewhat stupidly and Naruto remained in his ridiculous, Jiraiya inspired kabuki pose.

"What about Kara?" Clark asked desperately, hoping beyond hope that part had just been a joke too. A very cruel joke but just a joke nonetheless. He was all too aware that the both of them might well be evil monsters that got their kicks out of tormenting people like this for real, but his mind was desperately grasping onto the idea that his cousin might be unharmed. He didn't even care too much about being toyed with like this, at least not right now.

"Oh right, Kara. Hang on a second." Naruto said and slapped his hand on the ground, causing the aforementioned teenage girl to appear in a puff of smoke.

"You bastard, you said you wouldn't hurt them!" She immediately yelled out, grabbed two fistfulls of his golden hair and pulled on it hard.

"Oh calm down sweetie, can't you see they're fine?" Naruto reasoned, grinning at the aggressive little bundle of teenaged outrage.

"They have _metal poles_ impaled in their bodies!"

"It was just a little friendly stabbing, It shouldn't take them more than a week to heal at the slowest." He didn't bother correcting that the Outer Path rods weren't technically made of metal, no matter how much it looked and felt like it.

"You better hold up to your end of the bargain after this!" Kara said threateningly.

"Of course, as soon as you tell me what you want. Within reason of course." Naruto replied in amusement.

"Fine then. I won't ask you to stop killing people, since I get that feeling that you'd consider that unreasonable." Kara began, to which Naruto nodded. That would indeed be unreasonable. Killing people was an important way of resolving problems to him.

"I want you to stop being so cruel when you kill people." She finished smugly.

Naruto stared at her for a while before speaking. "Wouldn't you rather have a giant diamond statue of yourself or something?"

"No, if you're going to kill people then I want you to stop making it extra painful." She insisted.

"But….." Naruto started to protest, intending to say something to the effect of only doing it to those who deserve it, but deflated when he saw her resolute face. "….fine."

"Good boy." Kara said patronizingly.

"Oi, be careful with that disrespect towards your elders. I'm not averse to spanking you."

"You're not going to spank me Naruto, I'm too cute." Kara argued smugly.

Naruto stared at her for a few moments before speaking thoughtfully. "I'm not sure whether I should be proud or annoyed that you're exploiting my weakness for cute girls so ruthlessly."

"Those need not be mutually exclusive husband." Xanna pointed out with amusement.

"Excuse me, but could someone explain to me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Lantern exploded, losing his patience with the byplay.

"What he said." Flash seconded.

"Are you fools deaf or merely stupid?" Xanna asked archly. "We decided to make a game of playing with you for our amusement."

"But why? Why would you do that?" Diana asked and Xanna could easily perceive the betrayed tone in her words. Clearly, the idea of being used was not sitting well with her.

"Because we could, because we felt like it." Xanna replied without a hint of remorse.

The amazon looked even more hurt by the heartless response, causing Naruto to give his wife a slightly reproachful look.

Sighing internally at her overly sympathetic husband and the things she did for him, she nevertheless spoke directly to Diana's mind in order to keep her words private. _There is no need to feel so used, you only wanted a night of casual sex and that is exactly what you got. The only amusement I took from it was the minor discomfort I caused you._

Diana was startled at the voice in her mind but replied all the same. _You used me as if I was something to play with_.

Xanna nearly rolled her eyes at the bitter tone. _If I recall, you were all too eager to jump into bed with me. My original intention was only to cause you some discomfort with my advances, not seduce you. It isn't my fault if you couldn't measure up to me. If you wish to improve then I would consider allowing you to join my husband and I after he is done satisfying me, no doubt we would be able to educate you properly._

Diana balked and blushed at the blunt offer. _I have no desire to lay with such a vile man, nor do I wish to be 'educated'._ She well remembered how disgusted she was by the behavior of the horned man during their first battle.

_He is a much better man than he pretended to be for the sake of this game, but it is your loss. The offer will not come again._ Xanna replied indifferently, not caring either way. If Diana was too much of a prude to pass up the(from Xanna's point of view) generous offer, then it truly was her loss. Honestly, these mortals and their ridiculous moral hang ups.

Xanna broke the mental link after that, knowing that the amazon still felt sour over the whole thing but not as much as before. It was enough to get a thankful look and smile from Naruto for her effort, which had been the only reason she'd bothered in the first place. If it had been up to her, she'd have just let the amazon stew in her misplaced bitterness until she got over it. The things she did for love.

While this conversation had been going on, the more outspoken members of the League had been ranting angrily about being played with or the deaths of hundreds of people for the sake of their 'sick game'. Naruto had been typically flippant about it and annoyed them even further. Kara was trying to play peacekeeper but was mostly too busy assuring her cousin and Barbara that nothing bad had happened to her at all, quite the contrary in fact. Honestly, the worst that Naruto had done to her was not allow her to leave.

"Husband, we are leaving." Xanna declared with finality. She had things that she wanted to do and listening to these idiots whine about their bruised ego wasn't one of them.

"As you say my lady." Naruto responded grandly and moved closer to her.

"Bye Naruto." Kara said cheerfully and waved, much to the shock and anger of Superman who was nowhere close to adjusted to the idea of his cousin being friends with the horned menace.

"By the way Kara, you forgot to grab this before I summoned you." Naruto said back and tossed her the katana he'd made for her, having summoned it from their vacation spot.

"You didn't give me any time to grab it." She argued back, catching the blade and unconsciously smiling at the feeling of familiarity it exuded.

"Make sure you take good care of that blade and it will take good care of you, and keep up your swordplay." Naruto advised. "Also, come pick up your other stuff some time in the next few days."

"Sure thing bastard-sensei." She snipped back sarcastically, but with obvious affection.

"I'm so proud that my student is a disrespectful little shit." He said back warmly, grinning all the while.

With an irritated look on her face at the delay, Xanna grabbed Naruto's hand and teleported them both away, leaving him just enough time to give a small wave to Kara before they vanished.

Kara looked on fondly as the horned duo disappeared. She was actually going to miss the constant challenging spars and verbal snipping at each other. She was even going to sort of miss his perverted teasing. Not matter how much he embarrassed her with it, there was no denying that it was nice to know that he considered her attractive, even if neither one of them was interested in sex with the other.

"I think we'd all like a detailed explanation now." Batman said with a higher level of grim seriousness than normal.

Kara sighed despairingly, already knowing that this was going to be a very irritating conversation/interrogation. The next time she saw Naruto she was going to punch him in the face for leaving her to clean up his mess.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto oofed when his back crashed against a sturdy tree, but even that was cut off when Xanna's lips crashed on top of his forcefully. He responded enthusiastically, having missed his wife just as much as she had obviously missed him.

From what little attention he had to spare for the location, it seemed to be a wooded area near the mansion where he'd spent the past few days vacationing.

Both of their clothes vanished into nothing and Xanna's hand immediately grabbed hold of his already erect member, eliciting a groan from Naruto.

He'd expected that there would be some foreplay before they got to the main event, but he got the idea that his wife wasn't in a patient mood when she pushed him down forcefully until he was sitting at the base of the tree. Without any delay at all, she sat on his lap and impaled herself on his member all the way in the process. Naruto grabbed her hips instinctively as soon as she was all the way down.

"Missed me?" He tried to ask teasingly, though it came out as something more resembling a growl.

"Quite." She confirmed and began grinding herself against him. "Let's not do this separating thing again for a while."

"Couldn't….agree more." He growled out with a grunt as he felt her insides clenching around him with far more strength than a human would have in their entire body.

There was no further talking after that, only groaning and the occasional grunt when she made a particularly forceful movement. A very short while later, Xanna's face developed a wicked smirk as she put into practice something that she had thought up while she'd been up on that boring space station.

If nothing else, it had given her a lot of time to think about what she'd like to do to her husband and have him do to her.

Naruto was perfectly happy to oblige when a nipple was pushed into his mouth and he instantly started to suck on it and scrape it with his teeth, knowing that she liked it that way. He was surprised however, when he felt the first trickling of what he recognised as milk from the nipple.

That was new.

_So kinky! I like it._ He sent to her mentally and sucked harder on the nipple in his mouth, trying to draw more from it. He hadn't thought that being able to drink from her breasts would be such a huge turn on, but it was.

She moaned in pleasure when he did that and clenched her vaginal tunnel even harder, drawing a strangled groan out of him. _Shut up and keep at it._

A few minutes later, he was doing the same to the other nipple and Xanna kept on squeezing his tool mercilessly until he couldn't take it any more and exploded into her. Even then she didn't stop and continued to keep up the pressure until she'd milked out every last drop and he was left gasping for breath.

"You just keep proving that you're the best woman ever." Naruto said contently and leaned up to kiss her while trailing his claws down her back to make her shiver pleasantly. She was still clenched tightly around him and he was in no rush to change that.

"Of course I'm the best woman ever Naruto, I am a goddess." She murmured back just as contently after they broke the kiss, not bothering to put the usual over the top arrogance into the statement. She didn't feel like it, not with her beloved husband still hard deep inside her and being filled with his warm seed.

The stayed that way for a few minutes longer before Naruto spoke up. "How about we continue this inside?"

"You are already inside husband, but yes, let us continue." She replied with a smirk and restarted her rocking motions.

Had the situation been different, Naruto might have shrugged. Indoors or outdoors made very little difference to him. As it was, he just caught one of her nipples with his teeth and lips and looked up at her with the clear demand that she start producing milk again. If she was going to think up something that was such a huge turn on, then she had to have been prepared to keep doing it. He gleefully started sucking on the nipple when she obliged him.

It took them quite a while before they relocated to the bedroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pamela chewed on her lower lip nervously as she considered approaching Xanna for a private conversation.

It had been just over a week since the battle against the Justice League and things had been….strange.

Kara had briefly stopped by to pick up all the extra outfits and other knick knacks that Naruto had created for her, as well a punch him in the face, but other than that she was back at home. From what limited word they'd gotten from her, Superman was being predictably overbearing and getting on her nerves. She only managed to visit because she snuck away. At least the Justice League had gotten the hint that it would be a bad idea to try making an arrest and were thus steering clear of this place.

She was actually somewhat impressed that they managed to keep themselves in check after Naruto had circulated photos of their idiotically shocked expressions to the media. Nothing quite like pictures of respectable heroes staring at something with their jaws hanging to maul your reputation.

It had been funny to check their fansites and watch all the boiling fanboy and fangirl rage though.

Naruto and Xanna seemed to spend most of their time making up for losing out on sex during their relatively brief separation. Naturally this meant that neither she nor Harley or Priscilla were getting any. Naruto had told them that Xanna might allow them in on it, but in that case they should be prepared to be fully subjected to doing whatever she wanted them to do or else get kicked out none too gently.

None of them had been quite brave enough place themselves into that kind of absolute submission to a woman that they didn't know anything about. Not to mention that Naruto had been quite honest in his descriptions of her as being very domineering. When they'd asked for details he described their early sex life where he'd basically been an interesting human plaything until he'd gotten her to treat him as someone dear to her and then as an equal.

None of them really understood what the hell kind of weird development their relationship had, but they knew enough to steer clear when those two were going at it.

Regardless, Xanna was now alone for the first time since she'd arrived and Pamela knew that she couldn't waste this opportunity. It might never come again.

With this in mind she entered the living room, where Xanna was reading a book and apparently using her extra long tongue to scoop ice cream from a tub.

"Um, Xanna? I was wondering if I could speak with you, if you have time?" She asked awkwardly, unsure if the horned goddess was going to be irritated by the interruption. Naruto had always been very easy to get along with, but this woman was just so damned intimidating even while doing something as silly as using just her tongue to eat ice cream.

"Yes, you have been. For the past three days in fact." Xanna said casually while turning a page. "Get on with it then, it is the entire reason I sent Naruto on a little errand for a few hours after all."

An ice cream run to be precise. Ice cream created with the Creation of All Things just never seemed to taste right.

"You knew?" Pamela asked in surprise.

"With you being so close, It would be hard for me _not_ to know. I also know that all three of you have been terribly horny." Xanna finished with a smirk.

"Yes well, the two of you have been pretty….loud…..at times." Pamela muttered in embarrassment, blushing all the while.

"So, what did you want?"

"I, well…um…..Iwantababy!" The former villainess rushed to say, trying to force the words out as soon as possible and just get the embarrassment over with.

No such luck though, as Xanna simply stared at her unblinkingly with an obvious demand that she speak clearly.

"I want a baby." Pamela repeated slowly and concisely, not wanting to repeat herself a third time. It had been hard enough to scramble together the courage to even approach the horned woman with this request.

"And you are coming to me with this why? Mind you, I _could_ grow the proper genitalia to get you pregnant and I _could_ probably also impregnate you with it, but I have no interest in creating any half-god spawn and I'm getting the feeling that isn't what you're after either." Xanna said completely blandly and without embarrassment.

She could do it yes, but she never would. Naruto found the idea to be deeply, _deeply_ disturbing and liked to block the knowledge from his conscious mind. It was rather funny to see at times and she occasionally made mention of it just to see the nauseated look on his face.

Pamela stammered incoherently and made vague fending off gestures to indicate that no, that wasn't what she wanted before eventually getting herself back under control. "No, I just wanted to ask Naruto if he would be willing to give me a baby and since he's your husband, I wanted to first ask if you'd be alright with me asking him to do that."

"While that is considerate of you, it was also unnecessary as I don't care whether he gets you pregnant or not. Despite the similarity in our appearance, Naruto is different from me and any children of his would not be innately half-gods. I would not allow them to retain the power of chakra, but that could be pulled from them before they even developed in your womb."

Pamela was a bit disappointed to hear that. It would have been nice if her children could have grown up to be the among the strongest beings in existence. It would certainly save her a lot of worry. Regardless, hearing that Xanna wouldn't mind had already accomplished her objective in approaching the horned woman, though her next words dispelled that hope.

"Your real obstacle is the fact that Naruto would feel responsible for his spawn no matter how much you told him that he didn't need to be. He would want to be involved in their lives, to stay around and take care of them and _that_ I will not allow. Naruto is _mine_ and I will not share his love with anyone, not with other women and not with children."

Pamela stared with her mouth open for nearly a full minute, just trying to wrap her mind around what she'd just heard before finally managing a response.

"That…..is the most selfish thing I've ever heard." Not sharing him with other women was perfectly understandable, but refusing to have children because he would love them too? The thought of it was so inconceivable that she had never even entertained the thought of such a person existing.

Xanna shrugged uncaringly. "So what? Selflessness is not required of me and I've never made any secret of it. Naruto understands and his is the only opinion that matters aside from my own. He knows that he is free to do whatever he pleases with whoever he pleases as long as his heart remains mine alone."

Pamela nodded slowly, feeling an odd sense of disconnection from normality. Bits and pieces of knowledge that she'd heard about this woman from Naruto were suddenly becoming clear. Xanna was simply so far removed from being human that trying to look at her from a human perspective was at best useless and at worst fatal.

"So, just to be clear…..You don't care if he gets me pregnant as long as he doesn't care about the child and it doesn't retain any chakra?" Pamela asked for the sake of clarity, making a conscious effort to sound completely non-judgemental. It was suddenly clear to her that this woman could kill her right here and right now, despite her friendship to Naruto and then simply tell him that she'd done it because she wanted to without serious repercussions. Naruto would likely be upset about it, but not enough to make anything of it, as he would trust that his wife had done it with good reason.

"Exactly, but that will not happen. Naruto _would_ care for the child and he knows it. If you ask him, he will refuse you because of that and you will have made him feel awkward about it because he truly would have wanted to help you. So it would be best if you simply didn't ask him for it and spare both him and yourself the trouble."

"I guess." Pamela agreed despondently. She had really wanted that baby.

"One of us can still fix the problem with your immune system blocking your ability to have children you know." Xanna pointed out. "You could still have them that way."

"Thank you, I would like that." Pamela said, trying to smile.

"I'm hearing a but." Xanna stated casually.

"Well…..it's just that I was hoping that Naruto would agree to be the father. Other men are…."

"Pathetic? Worthless sacks of meat?" Xanna supplied helpfully.

"Yeah, most of them." Pamela agreed. Her general hatred of humanity hadn't abated much no matter how relaxing this vacation had been.

"Then adopt, there are plenty of orphaned brats out there that would be ecstatic at having a mother to take care of them. No need for any messy childbirth either."

"As if the government would let me keep a baby, even if I do give up on crime." Pamela scoffed.

"Then steal one away or go to some third world country and steal one away there, I hear that such things are easier in those areas. If you're feeling particularly vicious you could even murder some hapless family and take _their_ children." The horned goddess suggested, having already gone back to her book and ice cream.

Pamela winced at the brutality of the last suggestion. That was worse than anything she'd ever considered doing and the horned woman said it as if it was no big deal. Clearly, Naruto's wife wasn't into deliberate acts of cruelty, but mostly because she didn't find them interesting.

"Naruto might decide to kill me if I did that last one."

That got a smirk to form on Xanna's face even as she replied. "Yes, he very well might."

Later that same day in her room, Pamela was sitting on her bed and mulling things over. The conversation with Xanna had definitely not gone the way she'd expected, but in the end it boiled down to the fact that she would not be convincing Naruto to give her babies.

She knew that the two of them weren't going to be staying in this dimension for too much longer, so she needed to take advantage of her friendship with a god before they got bored and left. At the moment, there were still a few things of interest for them here, but that wouldn't last. It might have if Naruto wasn't dead set on adopting a few little sisters and that would be hard to do in a world where he was known as a mass murderer.

A few days and several long conversations with Harley and Priscillla later, she had the beginnings of an idea and went to talk to Naruto about it to see if he could help her overcome certain logistical hurdles.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto looked askance at his wife when she suddenly cocked her head with narrow eyes and started chuckling around a minute later.

"What is it?"

"Those idiots in the Justice League have somehow managed to to get into a fight with one of those Greek godlings on Themyscira, Hades if my limited knowledge of that pantheon serves."

"How are they doing?" Naruto asked with interest.

"Poorly, they were unprepared to face him and are being toyed with. Though it seems that they aren't all there either." She explained.

Naruto gave a predator smile as he asked his next question. "I want to fight him."

Xanna rolled her eyes at the eagerness in his voice. "Of course you do husband, you've been bored ever since you helped Pamela with that idea of hers."

They both got ready to teleport over to Themyscira and pick a fight with has-been Greek god when they felt a sudden flicker of a strangely alien disapproval from an outside source.

"What was that?" Naruto asked with a frown, trying to pinpoint where the feeling had come from without success.

Xanna had her eyes narrowed in concentration as she sought to locate the source of the feeling and went wide eyed in surprise when she succeeded.

"Husband, do you remember when I told you that there was no omnipotent, omniscient godlike entity in existence?" She asked with humor in her voice.

"You're telling me that there is one aren't you?" Naruto asked wryly.

"Yes, though it is a rather pathetic sort of creature in my opinion. It gives nothing, takes nothing and might as well not exist for all the impact it has on the universe. I haven't noticed it before now for these exact reasons….well, those and the fact that it seems to be so widespread that it is difficult to perceive as anything other than background noise." Xanna explained.

"Then why did it let us know that it doesn't want us going to pick a fight with this Hades character?" Naruto asked with a confused frown.

"It must have noted your tendency of killing those you fight and objects to the killing of this godling for some reason."

"What if we did it anyway?" He asked with a grin. "Is it stronger than us?"

"It is definitely stronger than you. As for me…I would say that it is not necessarily stronger, but it is most certainly more knowledgeable and capable of projecting its power on a much greater area. The most likely outcome of a full scale conflict would be the destabilization of this universe but no clear winner. I can only guess that the Shinju would have eventually become something like this had things not gone awry, our original universe _was_ practically in its infancy after all."

Xanna was suddenly left feeling if she and Naruto had done the Shinju a favor by killing it. An existence like this was just so….._pointless_.

"So….no fighting it?"

"No Naruto, no fighting it. We are in fact going to be leaving now that we know this thing exists." Xanna declared.

"Why? Didn't you say that it never does anything?"

"Well clearly it is not averse to getting off it's useless rump for certain reasons and I will not be told what I can't do by a worthless relic whose only purpose is to keep the universe going without any discernible reason for it." She snarked irritably.

"Well, we were leaving soon anyway, so it doesn't make any difference in the end." Naruto answered with a shrug. "I just need to say goodbye to Kara, Pammy, Peaches and Kitten and we're good to go."

"Do it quickly then, I feel insulted just knowing that there is something looking over my shoulder constantly and waiting for me to do something that it doesn't like."

"Will do." He said agreeably and then grinned excitably. "And then we're going to get me some little sisters, I can already hear them saying 'Onii-chan!'"

"You have problems husband, you truly do." Xanna responded with a sigh and facepalm.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**There we go, the final serious chapter, though I do intend to write a fairly shortish epilogue as well.**

**This one took a little longer to get out then normal because I was on a Mass Effect gaming binge lately. I had the first one installed for nearly two years before I tried playing it for more than an hour. It turned out to be remarkably interesting after I got past the first part before they turn you into a Spectre. The second game is turning out to be even more interesting, even if all that planet scanning and probe launching is kind of irritating.**

**Anyway, donate unto me some reviews for the reading! Pwease :P.**


	7. Chapter 7

James Williams sighed in relief when he made it to his desk with just a few minutes to spare. It wasn't that anything _too_ terrible was going to happen to him if he happened to be late but it was better not to take chances, since he actually liked his job despite its….peculiarities.

The job itself was nothing fancy, just another desk job in a cubicle the same as many others, but the pay was better than most other jobs offer at the same level and his immediate superiors didn't ride his ass all the time.

There was a reason for that.

It was because the CEO of the company hated everyone that worked for her equally. Everyone from the IT guys down in the basement to the executives up in the top floors knew that the boss hated them. She made sure they knew it when they were interviewed.

You'd think that would create a very tense work environment, but it strangely didn't. Since everyone knew that she'd be pissed at them if any complaints reached her, the department heads knew better than to screw around and provoke her. Everyone knew that there were no such things as 'favorites'or 'getting away with it'. As long as you did your job and avoided irritating her, you could rest easy. If you did otherwise, you got tossed out the front door by security no matter who you were, as one overly self important would-be executive found out the hard way recently and that was just if you happened to think too much of yourself. People that tried to swindle her had the unfortunate tendency to suffer bankruptcy.

Basically, everyone was afraid of making her angry(which was more or less normal anywhere), but at least you knew she'd hate you fairly. Well, that's how it was for most of the people working for her at least. Anyone that had to deal with her directly had it worse. Things had stabilized a bit by now, but from what he'd heard, the guys in management had gotten replaced regularly the first few years.

There was no dress code, nobody had to wear suits or ties and you didn't catch any flak if you had gravy stains on your shirt as long as you did your job.

It never ceased to amuse him when he thought of the fact that being employed by Poison Ivy was the best job he'd ever had, even if she hadn't gone by that title in over a decade.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pamela Isley leaned back in her chair and sighed in relief over the fact that she didn't have anymore paperwork to approve or reject, for today at least.

Sometimes, she wondered just what the hell she'd been thinking when Naruto had helped her hammer out this plan and execute it. Then again it really was the most effective way of going about her goal to preserve nature, so she couldn't complain too much.

She'd only had a bare bones idea of it when she'd asked Naruto to help, but over the couple of weeks that they'd spent ironing out the details the whole thing had grown very much out of proportion, making her realise that her previous modus operandi was simply too small scale to accomplish anything significant.

With that in mind, Naruto had gone about and used some creative mind control, bribery and threats to have all of Lex Luthor's former assets transferred to her, along with the ownership of his corporate tower and everything else he could track down. It was so nice when you had a god of questionable morals helping you out, it certainly smoothed things out.

After that had been done, he'd given her a nice tattoo that took up her whole arm that was actually one of those wondrous seals of his and it would create random gemstones or precious metals on command if she ever found herself running out of money, though she did have to be careful to make sure that she didn't collapse the market by accident. That would be bad.

Once that was done she had finally been able to turn the economical might of those assets towards her goals.

The biggest and most obvious culprit in the systematic destruction of nature were the energy companies. Old and clinging to their power with a deathgrip, they tried their absolute hardest to keep humanity reliant on fossil fuels so that they could keep getting richer by exploiting those resources.

Since Naruto had so kindly provided her with infinite wealth she had used it to bludgeon those companies out of business. It had taken years since they'd been so entrenched, but unlike her, their resources weren't infinite. And the best part was that they couldn't even say she was doing anything illegal, because there was no law against being able to create wealth on command.

In the meanwhile, the company she had usurped had turned its attention towards researching clean energy sources and sinking obscene amounts of money into their development. Turns out that it was easy to steal scientists from their previous posts if you offered them an unlimited budget and state of the art equipment. Some of them hadn't even asked what she intended to do with their research.

Additionally, she'd recently started up another program to researching ways of achieving workable faster than light speed. The damn technology existed already even, but it was mostly restricted to the Justice League and their little shuttles. What she wanted was for it to become widespread.

The end goal? To get as many people as possible off her damned planet. Killing humanity off might have been a bit of an extreme idea and probably unworkable since humanity tended to be like a cockroach when threatened, but giving them a way to voluntarily leave was possible.

She was well aware that allowing a people with a completely fractured government into space was more than likely a bad idea that was going to cause a great deal of war eventually, but she didn't care about that. What she cared about were her plants. Who knows, it might actually get them to unite into a singular world government. Anything was possible, even if it wasn't very likely.

But before that could happen, they needed to stop using something as idiotic as oil for a power source. She might actually learn to stop hating them all if they could stop poisoning the world or cutting down trees by the thousands.

Of course, her goal was predictably unpopular to a great many people that liked things the way they were, so she'd been subjected to various attempts at stopping her, both subtle and not so subtle.

She'd have long since been assassinated by some fat old man that didn't like what she was doing if Naruto hadn't predicted it and made countermeasures. Most of her back was now taken up by another complex seal that had taken Naruto nearly a week and a half to put together, which was a very long time for him from what she understood, but it had proved its worth many times.

The seal could almost be called an artificial intelligence because of its sheer complexity. It ceaselessly monitored a huge area around her for anything dangerous directed at her and reacted at the speed of light to bring up an impenetrable barrier to protect her if anything at all unexpected happened. No less than thirty four snipers and twelve bombings had been foiled by it, not to mention other, more creative methods. It even prevented fall damage! Naruto had boasted that she would survive even a nuclear missile to the face with that seal…the initial explosion at least, the radiation might be slightly more problematic, but nobody had resorted to nukes in their attempts at removing her yet. Though it was a rather twitchy thing, as it had also activated when Harley had organized a surprise birthday party that one time.

They'd have probably tried poison too, but she was conveniently immune to that method.

It had been well over ten years and she hated dealing with all this corporate bullshit just as much as when she'd started, but it really was the best way to get what she wanted. She wasn't even good at any of it, she just had infinite money, which seemed to be a great way of compensating for anything.

At the very least, things had started becoming easier in the past couple of years. She'd built up enough credibility that her criminal past didn't get in the way anymore and she was gaining an ever increasing amount of support as her projects gained traction. She hadn't even needed to resort to creating extra wealth to keep things going in nearly three years now. The Earth had _finally_ seen reason and shifted to a cleaner energy source, which meant that she was now on top of the pile. But more importantly, the slow destruction of the planet had been slowed to a crawl. In another five years, she hoped to start reversing the damage.

Ridiculously enough, she even got the occasional mention in some magazines as someone who was 'paving the way to the future for humanity'. Idiots. She just wanted to save her plants.

"Waxing nostalgic again Pammy?" An amused voice asked from the window.

"Actually I was just contemplating if I should have one of my executives murdered." Pamela answered blandly, turning to greet her visitor. "Super_girl_." She made sure to put extra emphasis on the girl part.

The blonde argoan sighed. "I really should have put more thought into that name. Almost thirty years old and I still have a superhero name meant for a teenager." She made no comment on Pamela's plans for murdering her subordinates, knowing that she wasn't serious. Probably.

"You'll always be that perverted teenager that peeped on our orgy to me." Pamela retorted with a smirk.

Kara sighed again. "You're just never going to let that go are you?"

"Nope."

Kara had gone through some changes over the years. She'd long since gotten rid of the short red cloak, finding that it got in the way more than anything and gave enemies a convenient handhold. Over time her outfit had shiften from blue to red until she'd settled on her current black with red highlights. She'd kept her hair long though, it was the one bit of sentimentality she couldn't quite bring herself to sacrifice for the sake of practicality. The sword that Naruto had created for her hung sheathed at her waist. She never left home without it(unless she had to be inconspicuous).

The top half of her outfit had a neckline of considerable depth and it had been the last thing that Naruto had made for her. He'd claimed that any female superhero or supervillain inevitably developed 'super boobs' and that she should have something that would flatter her 'super figure'.

Kara had scoffed at him at the time, thinking that he was just being his usual ridiculous self, but the annoying bastard had been right. She _had_ eventually developed a figure that was almost as chesty as Wonder Woman. How the hell Naruto managed to always be right with his idiotic sounding theories on the appearance of superheroes and villains never ceased to irritate her. He still managed to mess with her even though he'd been gone for years.

She really missed the big perverted lummox.

"Your fellow League members irritate you again?" Pamela asked wryly.

"When do they _not_ irritate me these days?" Kara said back with an eye roll.

"So what was it this time?"

"You know that new guy? With the mutated arm that could shoot that weird magic purple lightning?" The guy in question was in fact so new that he hadn't even gotten a villain title yet.

"Yeah, what about him?" Pamela had heard of that one yes. She'd been contemplating putting an assassination contract out on him. Morons like that tended to get in the way of her goals just by being their usual moronic selves.

The now greatly expanded Justice League kept most of them busy, but the occasional lunatic was quietly removed by one of her contracted killers. Powers or not, most people tend not to survive a high caliber sniper round to the head.

"Well he was being surprisingly tough to take down and nobody had any idea how to counter that arm of his….so I cut it off. Most of the League seems to think I was being excessively brutal…again."

Pamela snorted. "Wimps. Why don't you just quit the League anyway? I'm grateful that you vouched for me when I was just starting out, but I don't need it anymore. You could go your own way and not have to deal with the Justice League anymore."

And she really was grateful. Supergirl's support had made things a lot easier when she'd just been starting out. Naruto might have used some more less-than-ethical mind control to get her pardoned for past crimes but she'd still have been facing an uphill battle if not for Kara's help. Not that the battle hadn't been uphill either way, but at least the hill had been less steep.

"I was thinking about it." Kara admitted. "Maybe check out the rest of the galaxy for a bit."

"Really?" Pamela asked in surprise. "I didn't think you'd actually do it, not when you were so eager to join up in the first place."

"You know how it is…..things just haven't been quite the same ever since Naruto happened."

"You don't say?" Pamela retorted sarcastically. She certainly had never imagined she'd end up owning a mega corporation before Naruto crashed through her life.

Kara gave her friend a slight grin as she thought about how things had gone after Naruto had 'released' her.

**_Flashback_**

_"__So you're saying that the only thing that happened during your kidnapping was Uzu….." Batman was saying(suspiciously), only to be interrupted._

_"__I told you already, his name is Naruto." Kara interrupted irritably. At the very least, it was just Batman, Barbara and Clark. This might have been a lot more annoying if the entire Justice League had been present._

_"__Right, Naruto." Batman said neutrally, inwardly wondering who the hell names their kid 'fishcake'. It seemed a horribly bad name for such a powerful individual._

"_So nothing happened to you except for Naruto teaching you some martial arts and how to use a sword?"_

_"__Well I did also become friends with Pamela, Harley and Priscilla." Kara said with a shrug._

_"__You mean Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn and Cheetah?" Barbara asked in surprise and curiousity._

_"__I'm pretty sure that Naruto has convinced them to give up on crime."_

_"__How did he manage that?" Batman asked, sending a glance at Batgirl that basically told her to let him handle this. Personally he very much doubted that the three women would really give up crime, though it would be great if they did so. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn were one of his more dangerous opponents, the former more so than the latter._

_"__Well, Priscilla just wanted to be normal again so all he needed to do for her was reverse her transformation. Pamela was taking care of Harley after Naruto killed the Joker and she's just not interested in crime anymore now that he's not around to manipulate her." Kara explained._

_"__And Poison Ivy?"_

_That caused Kara to smirk as she answered. "Sex. Lots and lots of sex." It wasn't exactly true, but there did seem to be a lot of sex involved._

_Barbara colored rapidly at the blunt response and couldn't hold in her incredulous question. "He reformed her by sleeping with her?"_

_Kara grinned at seeing her friend so embarrassed. After spending so much time around Naruto and his outrageous behavior, something like that didn't even register on her embarrassment meter. She couldn't help herself from making it worse._

_"__Yep, he fucked the crime right out of her."_

_Barbara blushed even more and looked vaguely scandalized._

_Superman was if possible even more scandalized as he exclaimed. "Kara!" He'd never imagined that his cousin would be so crass or curse like that._

_"__What?" She asked blankly, not seeing what the problem was. It was just a curse word._

_"__Mind your language."_

_Kara blinked at her cousin slowly, wondering if he'd always treated her like a child and she just hadn't noticed or if this was a recent thing. Naruto had always treated her like an adult and she was just now realising how much she had appreciated that. Either way she felt herself getting quite annoyed by it and responded in the way that she had often responded to Naruto._

_Waspishly._

_"__You know what else? He fucked them all, first he fucked them seperately, then he fucked them all at once. Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck fuck."_

_A week ago she'd have never entertained the idea of talking like that, but prolonged Naruto exposure was guaranteed to either drive you crazy or have you discover that some foul language and talk about sex was really not that big of a deal._

_Barbara went as red as her hair, though she also looked like she was having trouble holding back laughter._

_Batman remained stone faced. It would take a lot more than that to make a crack in his expression._

_Superman was opening and closing his mouth as if he had no idea how to respond to the stream of vulgarity, but he was looking quite poleaxed. After a few seconds of this amusing sight, he seemed to muster some self control and started looking concerned again._

_"__He didn't….touch you, did he?" He asked carefully, as if he was approaching a particularly skittish deer._

_Kara shot her cousin another irritated look. Seriously, she'd given him a hug already and assured him that she was fine and hadn't been mistreated in the slightest. And yet, at the first sign that she was acting a bit different, he instantly forgets about that. She was starting to see why Clark got on Naruto's nerves so much._

_"__Well, he did tell me to sit in his lap and call him big brother, it was amazing." Granted, those two things had nothing to do with each other, but she was just about irritated enough to neglect mentioning that._

_She managed to keep up her innocent face for a few seconds before his horrified and sickened face made her feel guilty._

_"__Oh calm down already. We were both dressed and he only needed me to sit in his lap so that he could make my sword." She said with a huff._

_"__I'm confiscating the sword for testing by the way. You can have it back if I find that there's nothing wrong with it." Batman interjected._

_He suspected that the sword might be the cause of Kara's changed behavior. A sword that could influence people wouldn't be the strangest thing he'd ever encountered, not by a long shot. The way they'd been played with and the fact that even he had been fooled by Xanna despite how careful he'd been was not doing his paranoia any favors._

_"__Good idea Bruce." Clark agreed, catching on to what Bruce was thinking and hoping that Kara would be back to her old self once the sword was away from her._

_"__What?!" Kara hissed angrily, shocked that the two of them just up and decided that by themselves without so much as asking her. "This sword was a gift and I'm not letting you take it!"_

_"__Please be reasonable Kara, we have no idea what that sword can do. It could be influencing your emotions." Clark tried to reason._

_"__It's a sword, it cuts things. That's what swords usually do." She retorted sarcastically._

_"__Better safe than sorry." Superman said insistently and tried to take the sword from it's place on the table where Kara had put it._

_He frowned in confusion when he couldn't budge it. The table definitely wasn't sturdy enough to support any object heavy enough that he couldn't lift it and yet, the blade seemed to be heavier than a mountain range._

_He strained even harder to lift it, only to have his feet sink into the ground._

_Meanwhile, Kara had been glaring angrily at her cousin for his attempts and the blade shivered in its sheath in response to her anger, which prompted Superman to let go of it warily. A moment later, it shot at Kara hilt first and smacked firmly into her palm._

_The event shocked Kara just as much as it shocked Superman, Batman and Batgirl, but it also reminded her of a few things that Naruto had told her about it._

I bound this blade to your spirit and it will obey only you.

Strike with your spirit and the sword will follow.

_"__It's MY sword and it stays with me." She said firmly and walked out with an irritated huff._

**_End Flashback_**

Things had continued to be annoying after that. The caped idiots(as she had started calling them soon after that), had apparently become convinced that her sword was some kind of diabolical mind control device and kept trying to get her to surrender it for testing. Eventually they had annoyed her to the point that she had conceded just to shut them up. It had taken having Zatanna Zatara take a look at it and determine that while it was indeed an item of great power, it was most certainly not any kind of mind control device. She had stopped calling them the caped idiots when they finally grumbled that she'd been right, though Batman had looked like he'd drank a barrel of lemon juice while doing it.

Clark had continued trying to convince her to just leave it at home, much to her irritation. Then again, he'd also tried to convince her to stay in Kansas until she was deemed old enough to join the Justice League.

Both had been something that she had absolutely no intention of doing.

The brief glimpse of insight into Naruto that she had been given during the creation of her sword had been quite enlightening. Naruto had certainly never quietly listened when someone told him what he should do. He had sought out knowledge and experienced the world for himself. He might joke about lacking wisdom, but he had his own strange brand of it.

Either way, it had given her a desire to travel and see the world. There was so much more to it than the tiny corner that her cousin had wanted her to stay in. That was what she'd done in the end, despite vehement protests from Clark.

A couple of years later, she'd come back and joined the Justice League. Her cousin had chilled out in her absence and things had been going well at first. Right up until the point where she had resorted to using a bit more force than the others were comfortable with.

She hadn't gone traveling with the intent of becoming more like Naruto, she'd just wanted to see the world. The problem with seeing the world was that you tended to also see things that simply don't fit into a clearly defined black and white moral code unless you were incredibly stubborn and a bit delusional. Clark was a good man, but he was shockingly naïve in some aspects.

When she'd returned, her cousin had still been more or less the same, while she'd learned that sometimes, permanent solutions were much better than morally comfortable ones.

Clark was much dismayed to see that his sweet cousin was fully capable of using that sword of hers to main a villain if he was proving to be too problematic. It had been particularly tense when she'd killed her clone Galatea, whom the government had made as a counter to the Justice League.

That had been a very frustrating time for Kara. It wasn't as if she'd just up and decided to kill Galatea for no reason. She'd tried to talk her clone into not being such a psychotic bitch and becoming more like something of a twin sister, but that had proved rather difficult when the cloned woman been vat grown and indoctrinated…..something just hadn't developed right and she'd been obsessed with killing her genetic progenitor. In the end, Kara had no choice but to cut her down, which her sword had proven itself perfectly capable of doing. That mind link thing would probably have ended up being a problem anyway.

The years had gone by and she'd done her best to abide by the rules of the Justice League, but sometimes they were just idiotic and she ended up doing something that the others didn't like.

And now she was at the point where she was seriously considering just quitting and doing her own thing. It wasn't as if there was a shortage of superheroes these days.

"How are Harley and Priscilla doing? I haven't seen them in a while." Kara asked after she'd shaken off her wool gathering.

"Well, Harley looks like she's _finally_ gotten over her party girl phase and seems to be settling down. I've got the guy she's with watched though, just in case he's up to anything funny."

Kara nodded understandingly at that. It wouldn't be the first time that someone had tried to take a shot at the bubbly former villainess that way.

"Priscilla is as usual more interested in tinkering with genetics in a lab than anything else. She's been perfectly content to set up shop in that lab I set her up with, though her son drags her out of it often."

"Well you did give her near unlimited funding." Kara pointed out wryly. "That's something that she's wanted for a long time."

Pamela simply shrugged.

"I hear that your project for Mars is nearly done." Kara commented.

"Yes, the aggressively mutated algae I've created should be able to terraform the planet to a sustainable degree within a decade or two. I hope." Pamela muttered the last part.

"You're not sure?" Kara asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I've never done something like it before." Pamela explained with another shrug. "Who knows what could happen?"

"Right, it's a good thing you don't seem to be aging yet then. You might actually see your projects bearing fruit."

That much was true. Pamela was nearly forty years old by now, but was not showing any signs of age yet. She didn't believe she was immortal for a moment, but her strange physiology might have increased her longevity, which suited her just fine.

"Indeed it is."

"Oh hey, I just remembered that I wanted to ask you why you were trying to buy the Sahara desert." Kara said as she suddenly remembered hearing about that on the news.

"Simple, I intend to turn it into a forest." The redhead answered with a smirk.

She'd refused to answer the question when asked by the country representatives who technically owned the desert right now, as they would have tried to make it more expensive if they knew. It wasn't as if any of them actually had any use for it, they'd just try to milk more money out of the deal or try to convince her to 'rent' the desert. Greedy assholes.

"You think you can do that?" The blonde asked in amazement.

"Bitch please, remember who you're talking to." Pamela shot back arrogantly, gaining a snort from the younger woman.

In a gesture that Kara didn't notice, Pamela lightly fingered a green crystal hanging around her neck. It was a replica of the one that Naruto carried. He'd made it for her and filled it with what he called 'Mokuton chakra', which would supposedly boost her ability to grow plants. It should be exactly what she needed to turn the barren desert into a place of verdant growth.

The crystal would break when she died, but it was still an incredibly generous gift and a great show of trust. Stupid horny bastard making her feel like a crushing schoolgirl with all these gifts.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pamela sighed once Kara was gone. She didn't enjoy keeping secrets from her friend like that, but she knew that the argoan wouldn't approve of what she'd done. Maybe she'd be able to tell her about it one day…one day when it was long since too late to do anything about it and Kara could see that there was nothing wrong with what she'd done.

Despite her conversation with Xanna, she hadn't been willing to give up the idea of getting herself pregnant with Naruto's baby. It might be selfish of her, but she wanted a child of her own, not an adopted one and no man since Naruto had roused even a passing interest in her.

Had the situation been different, she would have most definitely tried to steal him away from Xanna, but that would have no doubt counted as assisted suicide with the situation being what it was. She'd even have accepted a position as a second wife, even if it was rather demeaning, but she knew damn well that would never happen.

So she'd asked him to sleep with her again, more than just once even. And she'd saved as much of his sperm as possible, all the while making sure that he didn't know she was doing it. She had no idea how far his perception extended, but she figured that he wouldn't find it if he wasn't looking for it.

Then, before their sudden departure, she'd approached Xanna again and asked the horned woman if she was able to undo whatever it was that Naruto did that prevented his seed from getting women pregnant.

After all, Xanna _had_ said that she didn't care if Naruto got mortal women pregnant as long as he didn't care about the children and they retained no chakra. If he didn't know about the children, then he wouldn't care.

It had been a gamble, but a calculated one. Xanna might have simply dismissed her or even killed her for what she was attempting, but it had paid off. She'd been impressed by Pamela's tenacity and devious approach rather than angered by it and consented to the request. All traces of chakra had been removed from it, leaving it as nothing more than the sperm of a regular man, albeit one with genes superior to anything that Priscilla had ever seen. No diseases, an immune system almost worthy of a shark, a potential lifespan easily above a hundred years, maybe as much as a hundred and fifty and a slew of other things.

Priscilla had wryly commented that if there had ever been a 'master race' of humans that the Nazis had so liked to blather about, they'd found its father and he'd never even set foot in Germany. Not that they knew of anyway.

Priscilla's own son was a product of Pamela's subterfuge, a strong young boy with bright blond hair and even brighter blue eyes. Most would assume that he'd inherited those features from his mother, but only she and Priscilla knew that it was unlikely. Naruto had told her that his original eye color had been a very bright blue, he'd even showed them to her. When Pamela gave birth herself, she fully expected that her child would likely have similar features, as Naruto's powerful genetics would no doubt take precendence over hers, not that it mattered.

They hadn't even told Harley about this, fearing that the bubbly woman would blurt it out by accident. They'd have offered her the same chance to get herself pregnant with Naruto's children, but Harley had only ever treated the entire incident with Naruto as a fun fling. Priscilla and herself had felt that Naruto had set an impossible standard for any other man to match. Pamela was by default negatively disposed to any other man, so it was entirely impossible for them to get her interest(and there had been attempts). Priscilla simply couldn't help comparing them to Naruto and they naturally fell far short. What man could compare to a god after all?

She'd wanted to do this years ago already, but there had been too many enemies out to kill her. There was no Naruto around this time to give her child an impenetrable defense, eventually someone _would_ get to it, no matter how hard she tried to protect it.

So she had waited and kept working at her other goals while the dust settled. But now, she felt that it was almost time. There hadn't been any assassination attempts on her for a long while, the rival companies that had been behind those attempts were long since bankrupt and she was regarded as a respectable member of society, if not exactly a pleasant one.

The only crimp in her plan was Kara's idea of quitting the League and going gallivanting around the galaxy. The quitting the League part not so much, but the gallivanting was definitely an issue. She'd been intending to ask Kara if she'd be the godmother.

It was a mean, dirty tactic to make sure that her children got the best possible protection, but it was also something that she would have considered asking either way. Kara was one of the few people that she felt was a true friend, with Harley and Priscilla being the only others. More to the point, the argoan woman would take good care of her children and protect them viciously if anything happened to Pamela herself. And she knew that Kara wouldn't be able to refuse if there was a cute baby blinking at her with innocent blue eyes.

Still, this plan of Kara's to tour the galaxy meant that she needed to hurry. She wouldn't very well be able to ask if the blonde was going around, picking fights and righting wrongs in some remote corner of space now could she?

With this in mind, she picked up her phone and made a call.

"Priscilla, it's time."

There was a moment of surprised silence on the other end before Priscilla answered.

"I see, when do you want to do this?"

"No time like the present, might as well do it right now." Pamela answered with some humor.

"I'll get the lab ready."

Putting the phone down, Pamela stood up and stretched, groaning as her back thanked her for finally getting off the chair.

"Sorry about this Naruto, but you don't just get to make me fall halfway in love with you and then leave without giving me babies." She muttered to herself.

"Now lets get me pregnant."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**There, a super fast update to conclude this thing. I hope you all like this here epilogue.**

**I completely made up that mutant arm thing that shoots magic purple lightning. If someone tells that that it actually exists in the DC universe, then I will facepalm mightily.**

**I do have something in mind already for the next universe, but it will take me some time to get up to speed on that particular universe, so don't expect me to post it in a week.**

**You may have noticed that I'm not giving any hints as to which universe it might be. That's because I might still change my mind if I decide that it would be too problematic to write in.**

**Also, I won't be posting any warnings that I've uploaded the next installment, so you'll just have to check my profile every once in a while xD.**

**Please review M'kay? :P**


	8. Chapter 8

Due to many requests, I'm putting up this here notice.

The next crossover has been posted.


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